Memoirs

My Last Post

2006-04-17T17:09:00.001-04:00

No.... not my last post forever....... just on this particular page. I am in the process of creating a new page, Chronicles of a Soldier. This is my 300th post on Memoirs and after 300 they start deleting your shit, so Imma get me a new one and use this as archives. There will be a link here and on the new page so you can go back and forth. Let me know what you think of the new page, it really doesnt matter because I like it but all comments are welcome, even Anonymous ones (LOL).
See you next door at Omobolanle's Click here

This weekend was sick!

2006-04-17T13:05:00.000-04:00

On Friday we decided to go to the movies, like 12 of us, we saw Inside Man, it was cool, and we all went home after wards.

On Saturday, I dropped Omolayo, UG and, Oyinade off at the salon and we ran errands for Remi’s upcoming wedding, afterward we had lunch. We all went shopping till we were exhausted.

Later that evening we went to Bogarts, not sure what we were celebrating but it was mad fun, as usual I had one drink and went bonkers (didn’t I say I was never gonna drink again?) Dinner was weird, some jambalaya with grits!!! Eww!
There was a live band and dude was strumming my pain!!! Remi was dancing so hard she split her knickers! LOLOLOLOL absofuckinglutely hilary! The pictures speak for themselves! We left the building at like 2am and I crashed. My kind of joint, not a club no loud music, no sweaty folks, food, live band and chill mode! I likes!!!

Trust that we were all present in Church on Sunday! I spent the better part of the morning giving thanks to God. I am in awe at how much he loves me! I am also grateful because like joke like Awada, Pricess O is 6! She received like 30 calls before we made it out the house! Her father called 5 times, I am sure he wanted to be here, he sent her birthday money (there Shade, I gave him props….now back off!) The dough came in handy because I took Omolayo’s friends out to Adventure landing, 9 kids and 25 adults!! A special thank you to Oyinade, she kept the kids entertained, I don’t know what I would do without my 3rd born, I love you Oyinade…but you already know that!

It was fun!!! I got on the go carts and had cars slamming into me left and right! I still have whiplash! After about 3 hours of madness, parents started coming by for their kids.
We all convoyed down to a party none of us was invited to 8 cars in tow, we arrived at the house party and continued the RARA. I don’t know what the occasion was self, just know Remi’s mumsy mention it and we were there…. but we had fun? I made my leave extra early because I still had 3 kids to drop off and tomorrow is Monday!Thank you everyone one for coming out with us. All 9 children…thanks for sharing Omolayo’s special day with us and the Aunties and Uncles… Remi, Dayo1, Dayo2, Tuoyo, Shade1, shade2, Shade3, Dammy, Adenrele, Funmi, Bayo, Gbemi, Oyinade, UG, Lolade, Wole, and Cree. Hope I did not forget anyone? A wa ba gbo gbo yin se iru e o!

PICTURES

Sexy Zodiac

2006-04-13T10:03:00.000-04:00

CANCER>> >Great Kisser. Very high sex appeal.>> >Great in bed. Most horny.>> >

PISCES>> >Caring. Smart. Center of attention. Too Sexy, DAMN IT.>> >Very high sex appeal. Has the last word. Extremely weird but in a >>good way>> >>>

LIBRA>> >Very gentle. Nice. Love is one of a kind. Silly and fun!>> >Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet!>> >GREAT in>>Bed.

CAPRICORN>> >Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future.>> >Irrestible, awesome kisser. Great talker.>> >Always gets what he or she wants. BY FAR>> >the BEST in BED. EVERY PERFORMANCE!!!!

AQUARIUS>> >Trustworthy. Sexy. Rare to find. Loves being>> >in long relationships. Extremly energetic.>> >Amazing in bed, the BEST lovers.>> >>> >

ARIES>> >Outgoing. Spontanious. Have own unique sexiness. Unpredictable. >>Erotic.Funny. Addictive. Take you on trips to the moon in bed.>> >>> >

TAURUS>> >Aggressive. freak in bed. rare to find. loves being in long >>relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want.>> >Extremly outgoing. Outstanding kisser. sexual as fuck.>> >>> >

LEO>> >Great talker. Sexy. Always Horny.>> >Laid back. Knows how to have fun.>> >Is really good at doing the nastey.>>Great kisser.

VIRGO>> >Dominant in relationships.Sexy.Always Horny.Freak in bed.>> >Always wants the last word.Loud.Caring.Smart.Loves being in long >>relationships.Addictive.

SCORPIO>> >EXTREMELY sexy. Talkative.>> >Energetic. Predict future.>> >Most erotic. Freak in bed.GREAT kisser.>> >not one to mess with. always get what they want.

SAGITTARIUS>> >Spontaneous. Horny.High sex appeal.>> >Rare to find. Good when found.>> >Loves being in long relationships.

GEMINI>> >Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners>> >Very Good in bed. Lover not a Fighter But>> >Still Punch Your Lights Out .Trustworthy

I dont know about this horoscope O, this one way everybody good in bed!

April 16.....

2006-04-12T15:21:00.000-04:00

How time flies! My baby is going to be SIX on Sunday!
I thank you Jesus for your abundant grace!
I am not worthy but you continue to bless me.
Despite all obstacles you always made a way.

Omolayo has never been without and she is loved.
I have a roof over her head, clothes on her back and food on her table.
It’s been a rough journey no doubt but mehn I pat myself in the damn back! And I can proudly say I did it all by my damn self! Thank you God for making that possible! 6 years down …….. 12 more to go!

In 2001 when I made the decision to leave Omolayo’s dad, I was terrified of the unknown, I was so used to living large, being poor scared the hell out of me.
But I realized it had to be done and today I know I speak for her father as well when I say Molayo is the best thing that ever happened to me!...My greatest accomplishment and I am honored and privileged that God chose me as a vessel to bring her life.

Omolayo Feyintoluwa, you are the smartest, wittiest, sassiest, God fearing, lovely little girl I have ever known! (I lied to Molayo that when its thundering that means God is upset and she needs to pray! She believes me so when it thunders she runs to her room crying and praying! ) You have a huge heart baby and even though I am not the best parent you love me unconditionally. I will continue to pray for you and I know you will be somebory major and make your parents proud! I love you Princess O and Happy Birthday!!!!!

Endless Grace

2006-04-07T11:14:00.000-04:00

I have another testimony!
I have an over active thyroid gland that developed a cyst and its been there for some time now but in recent days, I ruptured a blood vessel and the cyst has been filling with blood and protruding out my neck looking like a goiter. My friends say that explain my irrational behavior, blood must have been seeping in my brain....ha ha very funny....NOT!!!! So over the weekend it became painful and was accompanied with constant headache. I decide to go see a doctor, I was told i would require surgery but first they needed to see if it was cancerous so they drained a cup and half of liquid from my neck!!! EWW!!! Black, dirty, contaminated blood!! That had been sitting there for God knows how long and instantly the swell went down, I will still need surgery to trim my thyroid but at least I am not walking around looking like a baboon with tripple neck. I took a picture but I will spare yall ( it is really gross!) I am just blessed mehn! Fa real cause I had been putting it off for the longest. I know in Jesus name it will not be cancerous, there will be no complication and I will be in excellent health so I thank the Almighty for that knowledge.
I also thank all my folks for holding it down as usual when I was indisposed. Follow-up appointment is coming up and I will keep yall posted. Despite my shortcomings (dem plenty no be small), God is the bomdiggidy.... aint he?

Mandeesa

2006-04-05T22:12:00.000-04:00

Oh hell na!! Mandeesa has been voted off American Idol! Na mehn I aint having it! and Paris in the bottom 3! This is not freaking fair!!!! America, yall aint right!! That girl can sing her butt off literally cause I have watched her shed pounds since the start of the season! Madessa you've got my vote any day babes!!

MD baby!!

2006-04-05T10:47:00.000-04:00

MD was like that this weekend, even though my gurl Mo was not in town, it was still mad cool. We dropped Remi off with her man and Ade and I crashed at a friend’s crib, how about it started raining right when we got there and our dos got undid! I was upset man but its all good. We raided his fridge and crashed. On Saturday, Ade and I met up with E, since we were already in Laurel, then we dropped Omolayo off with her dad, yes o! I allowed him to see her, the environment had been very unhealthy for us all but it has gotten alot better. How about Omolayo was missing her mama, she was calling me every 5 minutes to tell me she missed me and loves me! Omolayo Omo iya e!
Aight so, I met up with my dawg Lola at starbucks and we all decided to go to dinner at my favorite restaurant LEX CAJUN GRILL, E and his friend joined us. The food was as excellent as I remembered and everyone was in agreement. If you are ever in DC fa real check it out and I recommend the Bourbon Shrimp or chille chicken...damn!!
So after dinner E insisted we go to crossroads, I have never been and I wasn’t particularly looking forward to it but I was with my friends and they were down so why not? Besides E and I had never been to a club together before. Mehn talk about ghetto! Some old school dude tried to holla at me in his Maybach, I didn’t even realize he was hollering when he told me to come here. Naija toasting level!! I told him I was there with my man and I couldn’t give out my number. He seemed annoyed and irritated that my so-called man was at least 20 years younger and he sped off! LMAO!! We peeped the club and E told us how someone had died there a year ago and we decided we were really not up for it. We decided to call it a night. I had totally forgotten about my previous plans to hook up with Dayo’s friend. He called again and we decided to go out with him, with the exception of my best pig that had a curfew! We dropped Remi off at Babi’s and rolled out; by the time we got back to DC everything was closed. Adams Morgan was a riot; everybody and their ancestors were in the streets, cops everywhere, folks were drunk, it was wild! Some dude tried to pick Lola up claiming he was a fellow Nigerian!! LMAO More like Ethiopian and Chiwawa mix! Anyway we headed back to my friend’s crib at about 5 am. Thank God he had given us a key because he would have cursed us Ondo style fa real! We crashed and woke up around noon on Sunday. Ade and I had breakfast at about 2 pm! Yes o!! Thanks to Bob Evans we went back to my friend’s house and Niyi came by to see us, I was on round two of my sleepathon. We met up with Wally at Borders where he was hanging out, working on his laptop and sipping coffee, I tried that a little while back, I certainly read a lot more then and had less drama but these days…. na! Wally is moving to Cali mehn! He got a gig with a communication giant and he’ll be running things!!! We scooped Omolayo and headed to the baby shower Remi’s invited us to. We ate again and made merry then headed to Uncle Timi’s house, it was Tioluwa’s birthday. We left MD at around 9pm and headed back to Raleigh. My back was killing me, I was hurting really bad! I drove barely 2 hours then I pulled over and we napped. Ade drove the rest of the way home. I crashed at Remi’s crib for the evening.

On a gbeborun tip

2006-03-31T15:18:00.000-05:00

Russell Simmons, Kimora Lee Break Up

http://entertainment.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=220024

Oga O!!

Me and my best Pig!

2006-03-30T11:51:00.000-05:00

I swear yesterday was a trip man! I really tried to be on my best behavior cause the level of crassness was high, even for me!
It’s amazing though what impact all this negativity has had on my life, positive impact no less because now I am even closer to my friends and they have shown how supportive they can be. So Anonymous, ride on jare. If only you knew that I really couldn’t give a less fuck! In fact, my hits yesterday were over 300! I mean damn! People love drama and you put on quite a show, you definitely got more attention than your trifling ass deserved. But what exactly is your beef? I think the MN trip really got to you huh? Omo you should have been there man, it was BANANAS!!! Your comments are juvenile and your bitter state is evident so, rather than being upset, I feel sorry for your pathetic ass but like I said, if I were you I’d hate me too. I love the emails though, and death threats, but is it that serious? I thought I’d post a picture of how cute I really am and one of my favorite best ugly, fat pig, but honestly she is the cutest pig I’ve ever seen!
I swear if not for legal implications, I would post a picture of this 8 tooth baboon calling someone a fat ugly pig! That is laughable. But it’s done; I am screening my comments starting now so you will just have to bump your head on the pavement or send me an anoymous text!!!Buhahahahaahaaaaaa

Horrifying Travel Experience

2006-03-28T00:53:00.000-05:00

Dayo, Molayo and I missed our flight! It was just easier to roll with Dayo, I was going to leave my car at his crib and we were going to beg Bayo to drop us at the airport, well that was the plan, but the devil had other plans. We got to the airport28minutes before our flight and we were told we missed it! I was livid, this Naija woman was attending to us and I swear she was a bonafide hater. She put us on standby for the next flight. We had breakfast and waited for the 12:35 flight. We were told we could not get on that one either, then the 4pm, then the 5pm and when their final flight rolled out, I realized I may not make this trip after all. Northwest motherfuckers told me I could not standby the next day so I am Shit out of luck. I called Mumsy, she was so calm about the whole thing it was scary. She told me to go to Southwest and purchase a ticket to Chicago and by the time I get there she would work out plan B. Remi, Denrele and Dupe were working overtime to calm my hostile ass, I was mad and tired but I was lucky they still had seats on the southwest flight to chi town. Dayo had had enough, besides we were looking at additional $350 a piece to get us to Minnesota! Waramess! I got to chicago at 7:30pm, and I had to go to baggage claim to get my luggage. My peeps had made reservation for me on Air tran for an 8pm flight. I bought two tickets to MN and I rushed to get my luggage then get on the flight but it was to close, I missed it again!!! OMG, I know no one in Chi town besides Bowale who was on his way to MN as well. I finally ditched the hostility and busted into tears! This God sent man that worked with Airtran was kind enough to put me on the first flight out Saturday morning. Omolayo was tired, hungry and highly irritated and she asked if we could just go home! I snapped at her and at everyone who called my phone. My mum was worried, my friends were anxious and I was tired as hell. I checked into a hotel and slept off. Thankfully, they had a shuttle that would take me to the Airport in the AM. I arrived in MN at 10:30 am, Gbemi, Gbolahan and Missy came to get me from the airport! Nightmare Mehn! But I thank God I made it!

My Mum's 55th

2006-03-27T13:37:00.000-05:00

My Raleigh Folks Representing!!!
Odegbami Sisters
My cousins and Sister (trust me to be the odd ball and wear cream gale)
Olori Mojisola alias My mama

Big sis and I

More?
View Photos Here

My mum's Birthday Cake

2006-03-27T13:20:00.000-05:00

This cake blew my mind, my sister had it made and everything is edible!!!

Abi you drink?

2006-03-24T03:10:00.000-05:00

I should be in bed but I just had to share my evening with blogville! I was rushing to run all my final errands before my trip tomorrow. Drycleaners, tailor, beauty supply etc. As I left the drycleaners my car wouldnt start! Oh crap!! I got a couple good samaritans to give me a jump and I was on my way to the next stop. Tell me why my car stopped at the intersection on the main fucking road!! I was scared as shit! I have all kinds of violation on my hooptie and I was not about to get caught...at least not tonight.
This oyinbo dude came by and pushed my car into the gas station. I called Remi cause I was close to her house. She came by and we tried to jump my car again and again until we gave up cause it wouldnt work. This dude came by and in 30 seconds the car was running again. Remi followed me so I would not be stranded. Peep this.... between the 10 minute drive to her house, we jumped my hooptie 5 times!!!! Da hell? my enemies are fucking with me o! Sweet Jesus where art thou?
At long last we made it to Remi's house. Shade made some mean ass stew and I was determined to get my grub on, nevermind the fact that neither Remi nor I had packed shit for our 9am trip o! No ooooo..... awoof wan wound me! So after about another couple hours between Shade's crib and Remi packing we finally headed to my house. How about this car followed us all the way home, Remi swore up and down they were bout to do a drive by on my crazy ass! LOL.... but for real, this car changed lanes and made every turn we made. I was calm as shit, I aint never scurred! So right when we got to my street the lights went ballistic! two popo cars pulled us over! Da hell? Th eoffice can by flashing lights all up in remi's car! he asked for her particulars and she was like what did I do! Peep this we were pulled over cause they suspected she had been drinking! Buhahahaha!!! Are yall fa real? So Donut boy asked Remi to count and touch her Index finger to her pinky using her thumb back and forth 3 times. I swear I almost soiled my briefs! Then he said she should say the alphabet from E-Q huh? As in E F G H.....O P Q!!!!! Why not from A-Z? ROTFLMAO!!! Are you serious right now? Remi flunked that shit, that heifer could not start from E! too bad Princess O was knocked out in the back seat, she would have helped you out! LOL... As in Remi was drunk of some pure warra fa real! After a few minutes, they concluded we hadn't been drinking and they let us go...just like that! After tailing us for about 20 miles!!! Jobless MOFOS!! What an interesting night! I pray my ass does not miss my flight....see yall Monday!! Have a fabulous weekend!!

I am #9!

2006-03-22T16:10:00.000-05:00

Example:

January 22, 1961 is
1 + 22 + 1961 = 1984
1+ 9 + 8 + 4 = 22
2 + 2 = 4

Keep going until you end up with a single digit number.
4 is the BirthNumber to read for the birth date in the example.

Got it?

#1 THE ORIGINATOR
#2 THE PEACEMAKER
#3 THE LIFE OF THE PARTY
#4 THE CONSERVATIVE
#5 THE NONCONFORMIST
#6 THE ROMANTIC
#7 THE INTELLECTUAL
#8 THE BIG SHOT
#9 THE PERFORMER

# 1 - THE ORIGINATOR1 's are originals. Coming up with new ideas and executing them is natural. Having things their own way is another trait that gets them as beingstubborn and arrogant. 1's are extremely honest and do well to learn somediplomacy skills. They like to take the initiative and are often leaders orbosses, as they like to be the best. Being self-employed is definitelyhelpful for them. Lesson to learn: Others' ideas might be just as good orbetter and to stay open minded.
Famous 1's: Tom Hanks, Robert Redford, HulkHogan, Carol Burnett, Wynona Judd, Nancy Reagan, Raquel Welch.

#2 - THE PEACEMAKER2's are the born diplomats. They are aware of others' needs and moods andoften think of! Others before themselves. Naturally analytical and veryintuitive they don't like to be alone. Friendship and companionship is veryimportant and can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other handthey'd rather be alone than in an uncomfortable relationship. Beingnaturally shy they should learn to boost their self-esteem and expressthemselves freely and seize the moment and not put things off.

Famous2's: President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoopee Goldberg, Thomas Edison,Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

# 3 - THE LIFE OF THE PARTY3's are idealists. They are very creative, social, charming, romantic, andeasygoing. They start many things, but don't always see them through. Theylike others to be happy and go to great lengths to achieve it. They are verypopular and idealistic. They should learn to see the world from a morerealistic point of view.

Famous 3's: Alan Alda, Ann Landers, Bill Cosby,Melanie Griffith, Salvador Dali, Jodi Foster

# 4 - THE CONSERVATIVE4's are sensible and traditional. They like order and routine. They only actwhen they fully understand what they are expected to do. They like gettingtheir hands dirty and working hard. They are attracted to the outdoors andfeel an affinity with nature. They are prepared to wait and can be stubbornand persistent. They should learn to be more flexible and to be nice tothemselves.

Famous 4's: Neil Diamond, Margaret Thatcher, Arnol dSchwarzenegger, Tina Turner, Paul Hogan, Oprah Winfrey

# 5 - THE NONCONFORMIST5's are the explorers. Their natural curiosity, risk taking, and enthusiasmoften land them in hot water. They need diversity, and don't like to bestuck in a rut. The whole world is their school and they see a learningpossibility in every situation. The questions never stop. They are welladvised to look before they take action and make sure they have all thefacts before jumping to conclusions.

Famous 5's: Abraham Lincoln, CharlotteBronte, Jessica Walter, Vincent Van Gogh, Bette Midler, Helen Keller andMark Hamill.

# 6 - THE ROMANTIC6's are idealistic and need to feel useful to be happy. A strong familyconnection is important to them. Their actions influence their decisions.They have a strong urge to take care of others and to help. They are veryloyal and make great teachers. They like art or music. They make loyalfriends who take the friendship seriously. 6's should learn to differentiatebetween what they can change and what they cannot.

Famous 6's: AlbertEinstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Meryl Streep, Christopher Columbus,Goldie Hawn

#7 - THE INTELLECTUAL7's are the searchers. Always probing for hidden information, they find itdifficult to accept things at face value. Emotions don't sway theirdecisions. Questioning everything in life, they don't like to be questionedthemselves. They're never off to a fast start, and their motto is slow andsteady wins the race. They come across as philosophers and being veryknowledgeable, and sometimes as loners. They are technically inclined andmake great researchers uncovering information. They like secrets. They livein their own world an d should learn what is acceptable and what's not inthe world at large.

Famous 7's: William Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, MichaelJackson, Joan Baez, Princess Diana

# 8 - THE BIG SHOT8's are the problem solvers. They are professional, blunt and to the point,have good judgment and are decisive. They have grand plans and like to livethe good life. They take charge of people. They view people objectively.They let you know in no uncertain terms that they are the boss. They shouldlearn to exude their decisions on their own needs rather than on what otherswant.

Famous 8's: Edgar Cayce, Barbara Streisand, George Harrison, JaneFonda, Pablo Picasso, Aretha Franklin, Nostradamus

#9 - THE PERFORMER9's are natural entertainers. They are very caring and generous, giving awaytheir last dollar to help. With their charm, the y have no problem makingfriends and nobody is a stranger to them. They have so many differentpersonalities that people around them have a hard time understanding them.They are like chameleons, ever changing and blending in. They havetremendous luck, but also can suffer from extremes in fortune and mood. Tobe successful, they need to build a loving foundation.

Famous 9's: AlbertSchweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford, Jimmy Carter, Elvis Presley.

2006-03-21T22:57:00.000-05:00

At Cody's

MORE HERE

How was your weekend?

2006-03-20T10:35:00.000-05:00

I had one of the most fulfilling weekends. On Friday we cooked and hung out at the Bajizzy’s, the plan was to see a movie but trust my folks, once dinner was served, errybody was knocked out! It would have been fun too considering St Patrick was one of the busiest nights out. On Saturday, I had to work; we have a SOX audit coming up so I had to get my files in order. I stayed till about 3pm then I drove down to Durham.
One of our bible study members suggested we volunteer our time to Ronald McDonald house and make them dinner, so we spend Saturday evening cooking at RMH. I remember Wale saying something about doing volunteer work every now and then and how fulfilling it was, he aint never lie. I felt really good about it and trust me to take over in any kitchen. It was fun; there goes my good deed for the week! We made them Jollof rice and Chicken, the turn out was great as we all supported each other with the ingredients, cooking and cleaning. I am definitely going to do more volunteer work going forward. It was a great idea! Thanks Oby!!!
Speaking of Oby, it was her birthday sometimes last week and she wanted to go out so I suggested the Chinese restaurant that had karaoke, CODY. We made reservation for 20 people because mehn Raleigh folks like to parry!!! The food was excellent! I mean damn! Best Chinese to date, except the one around my hood but that is not a restaurant per say, more lie carry out. Anyway, we ate we drank, or rather I drank, one glass of Midori and it was over! Act a damn fool time was on! We were there from 8pm to 2 am! The hell! The karaoke was mad fun; we took over the damn joint. Tomi, Ifeoma and Shade were the dancers in the building. Even the birthday girl had had enough but the party continued. We had folks from other table asking us to join in. It was bananas!!! We took the silliest pictures; I will try and load them tomorrow.
By the time we got home, I had a headache on one side of my head and I couldn’t talk, I had lost my voice!! Come what may, we had to go to church on Sunday. I took a couple Ibruprofen and I was as good as new Sunday morning.
It was our pastor’s birthday so there was mad grub after church. They also planned this dinner at Hilton for later in the evening. We drove to Wal-Mart after church because I needed four new tires. I had been riding on my donut for 4 days now. Remi gave me a ride back home and I hooked Denrele’s hair up Shaniqua style before we headed to the dinner for pastor. It was a nice gathering, we ate, danced and made merry.
I watched Grey’s Anatomy and went straight to bed.

So my phone is missing!

2006-03-16T09:40:00.000-05:00

Who would have thought I could live 24 hours let alone 5 days without my phone?
And the weird thing is I have not even tried to replace it! I do have insurance on that mofo but I have too busy to bother. So I checked my 26 messages yesterday and folks want to curse me out for ignoring their call…AS IF!! No I am not ignoring you, I am unable to memorize numbers and unless you leave a call back number, sorry I can’t call ya. Here is my thing, one message in one day is sufficient; chances are I heard you the first time! Unless it’s a dire emergency, why leave five messages? For why na? Or you call someone and they don’t pick up…well maybe they are busy? I am sure they saw your damn missed call so don’t keep calling like you dipped your finger in crack!
Aii so I will try and resolve my phone issue by the weekend, I really want a Treo thanks to Moji flaunting hers all in my face! Yes heifer, Imma copy you jo! Oh maybe I should get the razor looking Samsung thingy….call me I beg if you got the Sprint hook-up! I can’t wait to get a new phone, Dupe stole my job as Rev Raleigh, where I send delightful- -spam-like text to everyone on my list! I beg I need feedback on Sprint phones; I don’t have time for the foolishness of my old one so any suggestions? I need to be able to send and receive text messages and take photos of all of Princess O’s Kodak moments.

Mama B is 58!!!

2006-03-15T12:58:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was Remi’s mum’s birthday. We all went to Big Seg’s house after work and cooked, well, I sort of stopped by Marshalls first! I swear I need my cards cut up fa real. So anyway, earlier in the day I get a call from Omolayo’s school. They want me to pick her up because she is kinda warm and she won’t eat lunch? Maybe her ass is not hungry! But this is America so I drove up there to go scoop her. My child was just fine, she loves playing sick, cause I pick her up early, buy Mickidees and let her sleep in my bed, I know the drill but I have to respond or they may call social services on my ass. I decided to bring Molayo back to my office; I had way too much work to do to call it a day at 1pm.
Molayo was getting all this attention at work from my co-workers; I hardly knew she was there. We finally left at about 5pm.
Okay back to Mama B’s birthday, she is my name sake by the way and she is a mum to the whole town, she gets on my nerves but I love her to bits!
We cooked and danced the rest of the evening. It was an absolute blast. I did not go home till 1pm. Happy Birthday Mama B…E pe fun wa o!!!!

Akata.....= to the N word

2006-03-10T12:08:00.000-05:00

So Akata is a derogatory word and so are Kokoye and Chinko! I am guilty as charged when it comes to these words. I never used them in a derogatory manner though…...at least not intentionally. But one of my girl friends said its equivalent to black people being referred to as Niggars! Well I’ll be damned! I certainly have no desire to make others feel like I would if the N word was used one me! But just think about how many times we drop those words, especially in the Naija community without batting an eye, it’s almost as if we are addressing them by their Government name. I wonder if other folks have a name they use to group Nigerian as well. I know even within our country, we do. An Igbo chick is quick to say “hmm… Yoruba girls” and turn their nose like it’s a bad word! And I know I am guilty of “Omo igbo” then there is Aboki…now that is definitely derogatory….. It even sounds bad. The other day one of my best friends who is from Edo State said “Bola, why did you bring all your Ngbati, Ngbati people to my house!” LMAO! The nonsense girl has an Ngati husband o!
But on the real…I will make a conscious effort, to refrain from using those words. Na wa o…..there goes half my vocabulary!

A dedication....

2006-03-09T00:48:00.000-05:00

This is dedicated to a dear friend of mine, who recently lost her little girl...I am incapable of comforting you but I know God can and he will. Please stay strong darling....it is well!

My dearest Ayomide,
I loved you from the minute you were conceived
I named you Ayomide, indeed you were my joy to come
I imagined all of the things we’d do

I pictured your smile
You’d have your daddy’s nose
You were anxious to arrive and complete our world,
You’d kick me and demand attention
We were eager to hold you and feed you.

On your first Sunday you would wear the white dress,
We want all the other little girls to recognize you are a princess
Oh, maybe you'd grow up to be a lawyer or perhaps an actress
Either way you would be our little STAR!

I will paint your room pink; I can guess it’s your favorite color
I bet you’d be a girl scout
Or maybe a ballet dancer?
What ever you decide, daddy and I would hold your hand.

I wept for you today Ayomide, I wept because I miss you
I miss your kicks and all the plans we made
I know that you are in heaven and grandma is baking you cookies
I know you met Jesus and isn’t he just grand?
I wish we had a chance to talk more and do more
And even though you are no more, I will always love you

I cannot hold you in my arms but I will hold you in my heart
Please be a good girl and make Daddy and I proud
There’s gotta be a school in heaven, be sure to get all As
Eat your broccoli my love and always say please and thank you
No talking back baby and remember mum and dad loves you!

Dear Mum and Dad,
I am okay you guys, I promise and pinky swear.
Please mama, don’t cry, you will only make me sad
I had to go mama please try to understand.

Jesus says hello and yes he is the best, he promised to send you Remilekun real soon
I pray for you and Daddy every day and Grandma says be strong

You were right mummy I do have Daddy nose
But guess what else? I have your smile! Grandma says so!

Yes, we do have schools in heaven and I do get all As
We don’t need Lawyers in heaven though… we all just get along!
And I wouldn’t dare talk back; I’ve got Grandma to keep me in line!

Smile for me Mama, remember, I am smiling too
And I am glad I will be in your hearts as you will always be in mine.

naked in the city

2006-03-08T15:12:00.000-05:00

So my trash day is Tuesday right, I am usually very bad about it, you need to put your trash outside the night before or morning of then it get picked up during the day Tuesday and then you must return your bin to the back of your house by sundown. Well Lets just say mine lives in the front, I have not been fined yet (knock on wood) so anyway yesterday, I was feeling mighty righteous and I packed all the trash in my home and took them outside. I was also running late and needed to make my dry-cleaning drop, I had been piling my clothes for like a month now. So I grabbed one bag and yelled at Princess O to hurry the hell up lest she be late for the 36th time this quarter. I dropped my dry-cleaning off at the trash spot and drove off! The sad thing is that I did not realize it till 6:45pm when I ran 4 lights trying to make it to the dry cleaner before their 7pm close time. I parked, instructed O to sit tight and ran to my trunk only to find that mess empty! OMG why me? I am having heart palpitations just thinking about which of my baffs I just donated to the junk yard! Life sucks and then you are naked!!

Weak...end

2006-03-06T10:24:00.000-05:00

I tried my darnest to get everything done this weekend, but working at my Marlboro job Friday put a damper in my step. So on Saturday, I was scheduled to work again, except I totally forgot! How do you forget to go to work? I went to the salon to get my do did, it was hilarious my stylist hooked me up with a Mohawk, like I requested except I looked like the chicken on KFC’s logo! Denrele got the same hairstyle and I swear we looked like fowls on crack! Its growing on me though, thank God they convinced me not to cut my hair into an actual Mohawk!!! I got back from the salon and cooked the rest of the day. I couldn’t eat my own food so I went to Remi’s because she promised me dinner. The heifer was not dressed and there was no food when I got to her crib. We ended up going to the movies to see Medea’s Reunion…absolutely Hilary! I realized I had missed my shift but I decided not to call, I would cook up a brilliant lie! After all, it’s not like I do this shit all the time right? I mean I really did forget. Besides, I have church tomorrow and I am tired as hell! After the movies we drove to UNC to get Omolayo, she was hanging with Oyinade. I ended up sleeping in Remi’s house because I was done! Dewunmi invited me to come chill at his crib and cook for him, I swear I feel used! I am not sure if I really have that many friends or they just want to eat my food! I took my babies LP and Damide with me. Oh my goodness Denrele bought the perfect black pumps for like 20 bucks! I decided to go cop a pair except they were all out! Damn!! I shall be online later today to find those suckers!! I had serious Nigaritis after eating on Sunday and I fell straight out! I stopped by Walmart to pick up some toiletries and I saw this brown sweater! Mehn I copped that mess, so what its from Walmart, shuu, Imma rock the mess out of that shege….ask me if I give a less F*&K! So at around 10pm, I finally called my boss and explained to him that I was on Nyquil and slept through my shift, he totally wasn’t buying it and he said he would have to write me up! Omo, I don’t get write ups! I usually argue my way out of everything but dude is not playing, I berra get my act together because my Marlboro job is a nice little supplemental income!

Got Gas?

2006-03-01T22:54:00.000-05:00

This is pretty nifty. Just enter your zip code in the site below, and it tells you which gas stations have the cheapest prices (and the highest) on gas in your zip code area. It's updated every evening. Cheapest Gas
Be a good neighbor and pass this along ...

ATL baby!!

2006-02-28T12:58:00.000-05:00

Been too long mehn, I am soooooo busy, its sick! I don’t even have time to go to lunch! and by the time I get home, I am toast, I just want to eat dinner and crash! Which is why I went out of my way this past weekend to go to ATL with may favorite folks. We drove down to ATL Friday night 6 hours mehn! We dropped Princess O off with my girl Imade, who has two kids of her own and we went straight to some place 2face was playing at, I was too tired to go in and it was practically over because folks were coming out as we arrived. Omolayo wanted an autograph but some chick told us it would cost an additional $10 to get one, Princess O will be just fine. I quickly scribbled 2face on a napkin and stuffed it in my purse….. hell what does she know? We checked in the hotel after driving to IHOP, it was straight crowded in that micky flick…Oh hell na, like 50 people waiting to be seated! My baby girl Dammy was upset with Mama B because she was craving some pancakes, but she’ll be aii. I found this 24 chinese joint call Buddah something, we ordered some food and it was nasty as hell, but we ate the hell out of it and crashed. On Saturday, we did the whole breakfast thing in the hotel lobby, I tell yall Marriot has the best breakfast mehn! We stuffed our faces and headed out. LP and D, dropped Dammy and I at Ikea and we went bananas. It was nice to hang out with Dammy, even though she is a major pain in my butt, we have the same flare for interior décor so we played house for the next couple hours. LP and D joined us and we hit Lenox mall. D was sooooo mad because he was done after like 20 minutes but we ended up staying for 4 hours! LOL
I split from the group for like 15 minutes to find a top but if you ask them I was gone for over an hour! Thank God I had the damn keys or the MOFOs would have left my ass! HEHE. Busola called me to tell me about her cousin’s shindig for her man and it sounded good to me so we crashed the joint. Turns out it was the same shindig Funmi invited us to. I was impressed with the ambiance, the food was absofuckinglutely fabulous! I told my folks to eat quickly before they realized we were not on the guest list. The celebrants’ girl looked chassis, in her black satin number and she was very accommodating despite our dropping by. We mingled for a little while and for once we all agreed it was time to jet. Apparently there was another party, but I was so done! I told the other’s I would be right back and I turned in for the evening. Dammy and VP followed my cue and we hit the sack. ***Ok confession*** I don’t know what it was, probably the Buddah Chinese but I was farting up a storm! I figure I tell on myself before D, LP and Damide come spill the beans!! On sunday we did the elaborate breakfast thing again and D went off to church! AS IF!! We checked out at noon and headed to Imade’s house to hang out with her for a bit and watch Yoruba movies! She made us fried rice and Oby and her friends come there as well. We headed back to NC at about 4 and made it to LP’s crib just in time for Grey’s Anatomy!! It was a fantabulous weekend!!!
More Pictures attached.

2 Face is doing big things!!

2006-02-22T00:09:00.000-05:00

Okay probably stale news but I am so tickled! Our very own 2face, a Nigerian artist is doing major things these days. Baby boy did a track with Wyclef and I will be damned! I was at the movies the other day, went to see ‘Something New’ and while we were watching the previews I heard African queen! The national anthem for Naija chicks in recent days! As in it’s a sound track for Monique’s new movie FAT GIRLS!

I was stoked mehn. I started calling folks up to tell them about it. What a tremendous achievement for 2face! Baby boy is getting paid…in dollars!
Not only did Baby boy make history by being the first artist to win the Best African Act award at the 2005 MTV Europe Music Awards but now the big screen! God is good mehn…. I tell you stay true to your talents, if groomed properly it may be your means to an end. So I am going to start panting again, write more poetry and work on my book…2 chapters down….38 to go. Mad props to 2 face, lets support our own once this movie hits theaters, and I mean full price adult ticket ni o, no student ID and certainly no black market cops from the barber shop!

HI5

2006-02-21T00:13:00.000-05:00

For about 8 odd months now I have been on HI5, I joined accidentally, well actually because I got numerous invitations to join by other members and I felt once I did they would stop sending me the damn invites. Once I became a member, I noticed I found a bunch of folks I had lost touch with, some as far back as high school! There was even this American chick I went to High school with, Dee and we were like Thelma and Louis back then (Northwest High!!!), she just sent me and email and wam! After 15 years we were reunited once again! Then there are the random love letters, I am sure the ladies can attest to this, from Mukaila and all of his cousins that want to wife you but don't know you! That shit reminds me of Naija movies 'I love you, talk your own'! How random!!!

Am very happt to come across someone like u in my Network place , i will be very grateful if u can accept my offer to be a friend of urs in Hi5 . Am Prince Adebola

HAppy Val

AND .....

HELLOOOOOO....................I BELEIF YOU ARE.........................PULLING ON SMARTLY................WITHOUT MUCH OBSTACLE...................AMEN........................I SAW YOUR PROFILE INFACT..........................I LOVE IT 4 REAL........................AND I WILL PWANT YOU TO GIVE ME A SHOUT OUT..................ON MY NUMBER..................234802******..........................AM BOLAJI BY NAME.........................THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU 4 REAL.................................BOLAJI

AND .......

Hello ,
Bola...This is olawale here from nigeria ..just see u in my group and i love everything about ur profile ..
Wish to know u more better as a nigerian
Stay kool
Olawale

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE .......

Hey gal, You are finer that gold, I wish to be your husband, I will take care of you, I work in a bank, you make me happy, you remind me of mumsy, I love your dorter call me at 079313******

Are these folks bananas? I mean How can someone you dont know make you happy? There is more random shit fa real but I will spare yall.

So... besides the fact that HI5 is a great place for folks you've lost touch with to find you, can you really meet a significant other there? Can true friendship be formed on HI5? I have certainly made a bunch of great friends via the web but HI5? I dunno o!

Next!!

2006-02-20T11:08:00.000-05:00

I sat back and absorbed all of the comments emails and cheap shots thrown my way both positive and negative and it’s all good. I definitely needed to hear it and it put things into perspective. I was Daft, I should have held my peace but not responding would have been so out of character that I did not mind making a fool out of myself in the process. I am glad it happened though; it was a real eye opener as to what was sooo obvious to everyone but me. I have not responded to any comments, I doubt I will but who knows. Blogging has been a form of therapy for me from jump and it will continue to be. My silence the past few days has been mainly because I wanted to see how all this would unfold. I have made my peace and I am so ready to move on.

So moving on….my weekend was quite interesting! I was invited to be a judge for the African competition between three schools UNC, NC State and UNC Pembroke. It was cool, it kinda took my mind away from everything else and I particularly enjoyed the fashion show. I had all my folks over last night and we watched Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy! Mehn that doctor was QQQQQUUUUUUTTTTEEE!!! I mean GOOD GAWD!! Omo in my opinion that is the best show on TV man, for real! I made buka stew and erryone ate and we chilled till about midnight. Now I am pissed that I am sooo tired.

As if I don’t have enough going on, work is getting more ill by the minute, it is mad hard to learn something new and keep up but I am trying my best. I don’t like the fact that I am always busy though, well maybe it’s good, because I had way too much time on my hands! It’s definitely an adjustment. My boss reminds me that I have only been in my new role 2 weeks and it bothers him that I am so hard on myself! I guess that’s good he doesn’t see me as slacking.
Anywho…Let me get back to work. Thanks again for all your 2 cents!!

No More Drama!!

2006-02-16T11:18:00.000-05:00

My blog was deleted yesterday and at first I was in awe then I was mad becaus I could not understand how codes could be written to delete shit! But now I am glad it was, cause it was unnecessary and childish not to mention mean and irrational. I am sure alot of you were entertained and many dissapointed. I meant every word on the entry but like I stated my intention was not to disrespect any of the girls...well except one!

I even got a death threat from Dare yesterday, he wants to kill me and himself, sound like crime of passion to me! And he broke down my door! as in kunfu style! LOL I aint scared though so brinhg on the AK! LOL

Anywho, I am over this, but now I am beefing with BLOGSPOT because how the hell can an entry be deleted. He just called one of his genius boys up and BAM! My post was gone, damn! I should studied IT!

To everyone I involved in my drama...So Sorry! Anger is a bitch man! I am seriously taking Anger management classes this summer. And to all the pep talks and emails....thanks a bunch!

Remi, I know I don't listen to u, hell I don't listen to anyone. I also know that you don't support my behavior but you proved yourself yet again to be a true friend!
Dayo and Tuoyo...I just love yall! Thenks for slapping some sense into me.

This too shall pass!

Valentine 06

2006-02-15T11:10:00.000-05:00

It was Nice!! We really had a nice time. We all went out to this bar and ate wings and did shots, enough to be tipsy for the blatant fools we made of ourselves at the Kareokee bar! Omo you should have seen us, we vexed all the patrons cause we refused to leave the stage, there was this really hot white boy I sang to, damn I wish I had a picture! Even Ade and Funmi(shyest MOFOS) were on stage doing their thing! We enjoyed eachother's company without a worry in the world! Happy valentines day yall and thanks for sharing it with me! Hopefully next year we'll be in the arms of our MENZES!!!
Check out the pictures!

Dem wan kill me o!

2006-02-13T18:51:00.000-05:00

OMG! I swear I feel like screaming this evening! I am mad tired!!! My job is drving me bananas, I opened up my email this morning and I had 247! Then I listen to my voicemail and I had 14! At freaking 9am, 14 voice mails! I was so busy I even had o bounce my married man(LMAO) when he called, even though I sooo wanted to talk!!! Omo it's not easy o! So I left work at 5:45pm and I am tired as hell! But I thank God sha, at least I have a job, don't want to come across as an ungrateful MOFO!

This weekend was DRAMAFUL mehn! Unwarranted drama, but the second I decided to chilax and stop tripping it got better, I tell you I am in desperate need of Anger Management!! OMG yall shoulda seen me on Sunday!! I shocked the hell out of myself in church! We had this Yoruba culture presentation and I had a part that was so out of character for me but mehn I kiled it. I had to praise God in yoruba, half the shit I said I did not understand but it felt really good. I am glad I was a part of it. I have pictures but I'll post later. I left after our presentation and headed home to cook for the Single and Strong meeeting I was bullied into hosting(LOL). We talked about SEX! imagine discussing sexual abstinence with both the Pastors wife present! I felt like they saw what I did last Summer! Omo it was wierd!!! Anywho I hung out at Remi's for a minute and went back home. Gbemi, a friend that just moved to Raleigh, came by to spend the evening; we watched Desperate Housewives, which has no substance BTW, I just love seeing Eva Longsomething...she is hot to death! No I am not gay but I give props to my fellow female who deserves it!
So this evening, Imma snuggle up in front of my TV, watch 24, eat Rice and Buka stew and have phone sex!! (Note to self: Bola, you stupid!!!)
Peace
QB

In Retrospect

2006-02-11T11:04:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking.... I have decided to delete my latest post because my reaction was expected, and I guess everyone had taken front row seat for the drama to begin..I am sorry to disappoint yall, I have raised my white flag.
People in your life will disappoint you but how you let it affect you is your decision.... so I have decided, it won't affect me. My voice of reason spoke to me and made me realize that just because I am expected to react and stoop to the level of imbeciles that lack morals (sorry I couldn't resist ;)), does not mean I need to oblige. So on that note...I am done!

The result of boredom

2006-02-02T18:13:00.000-05:00

On my way out to dinner, but I did not like the fact that I hadnt blogged. I am stuck in an hotel room in Orlando (alone) and nothing to do! I miss my North Kakilaki Mehn! I miss my Princess O! Hell, I even miss my neighbor! Its only be two days and it feels like a damn week! I will be home tomorrow sha and then I can return to my routine. I sooo thought this trip was going to be mad fun but Omo, I just wanna sleep and watch some HBO (you know my ghetto ass only have basic cable!) **Side track** There was this dude in the lobby last night...Lord have mercy! this broda was all kinda fyne! He even gives Boris a run for his money and what stood out about him was his carribean accent! OK,kill me now! I mean Dayum!!!**back on track** Aight, as I was saying, this is one boring trip and to make matters worse, I have an ear ache! you know from the pressure and crap. This sweet lady picked me up from the airport, took me to dinner and then drove me to my hotel. And she paid for dinner too! Thanks mami!!! Great o,because I don told these folks I aint expensing shit! You aint gonna tie my damn money up for four weeks! hell to the NO.
Okay I will fill yall in on any other exciting thing that happens at dinner...I so doubt there will be but lets be hopeful......later!

Good GAWD!!!

2006-02-01T01:07:00.000-05:00

Damn this Man is HAT! Can I hear a AMEN!!!

My testimony

2006-01-30T15:10:00.000-05:00

So the other day right, my manager comes to my desk and asks me if I want to take a smoke break with him because he wants to talk to me about something. I was scared mehn, you know my ass don’t do no work and I have been working from home more than coming to work. And let’s not even mention being late erryday and taking 2 hour lunches and shit. All these thoughts ran through my head and I was thinking about a possible next move…should I get the buyah! So he lit his cigarette and lit mine and took a long puff. I was peeping his abs because this white boy is cut like steak, you could tell he was a marine, there is just something about dem military bois mehn! Too bad he is married with 5 kids or it would be so on! I was distracted by his well tone physique for a minute then he said. “The VP of HR asked me to talk with you” Oh damn…HR loun loun, I don enter wahala! I was ready to deny any accusations brought against me and blame my lack of social skills on being an immigrant. He took another puff and continued “We have an immediate need for a Branch Administrator and your name came up, you have done impeccable work here in the last 5 months and we’d like to make you an offer if you are interested” Huh? Rewind! Hold the hell up! You mean I am being offered a job I did not apply for? No interview nada, with some damn benefits! I was excited beyond word and I calmly responded “finally I can get that much needed pap smear!” he smiled and said “so I take that as a yes? You’ll consider it?” Look at this hot piece of man candy patronizing me o! “I will definitely consider it, thanks for looking out!”
Long story short, they made me an offer, I accepted and today January 30, 2006 is my official first day! I have 3 weeks vacation! YAY!!!
“My testimony is filled with stories of grace and mercy made true and I will speak boldly because the way you loved me and this is my testimony” Bob Carlisle
I just want to thank God for his infinite mercies in my life. I am grateful because He always has my back and when situations come and I feel like whenever my cross is getting heavy, he comes through and releases me of my burdens. This year started out solid and its getting better by the day. And I owe it all to the Almighty!!!
Let it be known, if my Savior can do it for me, he will surely do it for you!

Hall of Shame!!!!

2006-01-27T10:00:00.000-05:00

I was on IM the other day and I thought my girl Denrele was online, I decided to holla at her. The following is what ensued.

If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
are you at home
Rele says:
who theell are you
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
huh
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
your aunty
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
isla
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
sho ara e o
Rele says:
Sis
Rele says:
it is ayo
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
ahhh
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
I see
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
no vex o
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
I thought it was Islamiatu
Rele says:
I don't know you
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
its Bola Odegbami
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
the princess of egbaland
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
The queen b
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
the obirin asiko
Rele says:
Are you sure
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
Omo do ko do ko
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
Omo yan le yan le
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
Aja ma jebi
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
Erelu awon Okunrin
Rele says:
/who are you writing to?
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
Omotanwa
Rele says:
I still dont know you
Rele says:
Are you on drugs...what kind of names are those
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
I beg you are dry
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
where is denrele jo
Rele says:
Are you from Apata
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
what
Rele says:
yes you know my wife
Rele says:
I will get her for you
Rele says:
miss doko doko
Rele says:
hi there, bola
Rele says:
i dont know who u are really, i might have u on my addresss because of nigeria but i really dont recall u
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
this is is not funny
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
is this Denrele Sarunmi
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
I am calling you now
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
where is remi
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
I have been looking for her
Rele says:
nooooooooooooooooooooo
Rele says:
Rele Talabi now Aliu
Rele says:
huh
Rele says:
You dont know me but u think u do. I think u must have me confused with someone else. Maybe Remi Ladejobi might be able to help u
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
OMG
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
I am terribly sorry
Rele says:
its ok
Rele says:
you are a very funny girl, you went to Apata right? Remi's friend, miss popular
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
Gosh I am embarrassed
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
Remi Ladejobi has a cousin named denrele
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
I thought this was her
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
my apologies to your husband
Rele says:
thats cool
Rele says:
My husband says thanks for the laughs LOL
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
right

****************************************************************
I nearly died of shame! I was convinced it was my Denrele and she was just trying to be funny and at the time they had some chick named Ayo staying at their crib so I assumed it was her. I called Denrele after and she was dying laffing when I explained what happened! Shame! Shame! Shame!!! And all that crap about being Omo do ko do ko! OMG!! This is by far one of the most embarrassing moments I have had; this and the time Omolayo asked my nurse why her tummy was so big, is she pregnant? And the poor lady responded embarrassed as hell saying “no baby I am just fat!” Please share your most embarrassing moment…I could use a good laugh.

Newest faces in blogville

2006-01-26T09:34:00.000-05:00

Inspired by IGO (I read Igo’s blog this morning, besides the fact that I was grinning from ear to ear at this Omo Ibo’s flattery, I was appreciative of the way he put his thoughts together to make a comeback after a mini hiatus from bloggville. IGO…I beg no try am again o, or at least bribe me with chin chin next time you go to Naija!)
So as I wan yarn…we got some new faces in blogville that I’d like to share with yall four of my hommies. First there is Drama, interesting name for a chick who is not very dramaful in my opinion, just a laid back around the way girl that is always smiling, for a bit I was under the impression that she won the lottery. Moving on to my Dawg Lil ol me, I tell you this miha is deep! I can call her up when I am feeling not so fab and she cheers me up. She is candid and she barely speaks but when she does, you best believe there is nothing but deep truth. I love me some candid folks mehn as long as you do so respectfully and that is what Lil is all about. Lets not forget my baby girl Oadefuye, my adopted sis, I love to read her stuff cause she writes just like she talks, it takes a special, patient kinda somebory to keep up. I especially loved her piece on her late dad (I cried… literally), but baby girl gets on my damn nerves but her heart is so pure and she has this naivety/innocence about her that I am fond of. Lastly, Truth B shared, hmmm ol girl is a vixen on a mission to share the truth, undiluted, spilled it in raw form without bias. I can soooo appreciate that. So yall show them some love as they enter our hood.
I noticed they are starting slow as we can all reckon with, but in a matter of time and with practice trust me their creative mind will speaks for itself…. please be easy, they are VIRGINS! (Virgin blogger ni o, me I no know about that other one I beggi)
I remember my first blog entry back in 03 at Tblog (Absolute Hilary read the 03 Archives when you get a minute); I had plenty to say but didn’t know how to say it. I wrote a lot out of habit and made up crazy stories but I was a Virgin blogger. I was also technologically challenged, but mehn I found that the more I wrote the better I felt, it was free therapy and I became addicted, for 3 years straight I have be doing it and like fine wine, I will only get better ….HEHEHE but no disrespect to all the veteran bloggers, you laid the foundation and here we are following in your footsteps. Do you remember your first entry? How has blogging changed you? How have folks responded to you?

I've got the blues

2006-01-25T10:16:00.000-05:00

I’ve got the blues! I’ve got it real bad! Everywhere I look I see a cute ass baby. Seyi and IBK just gave birth to the most beautiful baby ever; I mean he is sssssooooo cute. I don’t care what anyone says babies are ugly MOFOs I mean when they are brand new 0-1 month, they look like little gremlins and their body hasn’t really taken form, hell they are ugly! When Molly was born (damn I wish I had a picture online) she looked like a little monster covered with hair, her hairline and eyebrow were one entity and despite my fervent prayer to God that she would not have her father’s nose, there it was like a big chunk of play dough dominating her entire face! So anyway, I don’t do the oooohhh and the ahhhh for new borns, na not me but Seyi and IBKs baby is by far the most beautiful newborn I have ever seen!
Then there the long list of friends that are with child; Funmi, Shola, Vicky, Seun, even Ayo and Julie are all expecting their new babies any day now! I don tire o! So it got me thinking, maybe I should just have one, I mean my ass is getting old na, shu 28 this year, why the hell not? So I spoke with Yetti about it last night and she said we should give it another 2 weeks and then we’ll review, if I still feel the same way, perhaps I should go with it. LA said I have lost my damn mind and then she hung up on me…that heifer! Remi did not even pick up my call, as if she knew what I was bout to talk about. And Mo, well Mo is with me either way but she said I should think it through sha and think it through I did so tay I dreamt about it…..no I had a freaking nightmare!
It was kinda like a documentary taking me through the bittersweet Journey of motherhood.

The pregnancy ordeal, throwing up, spitting, the nausea, gaining all that extra weight.
Possible long labor (though I didn’t go through that with O)
The scar my C-section left me that rid me of any chance of ever wearing midriff or bikini.
The 40% income you loose for 6 weeks of playing new mummy
My teetries loosing there o so sexy don’t need a bra shape
The extra fat that has taken permanent residence on what used to be my ass
The permanent pot belly that gives me figure 88 instead of just 8
Staying up ALLL night to feed the hungry monster every 2 hours max.
Lack of sleep from diaper changes
OH those damn diapers, smells like hell (never been but I am sure that’s how it smells) how could such a tiny creature release such funk?!
Looking like an asswipe pushing stroller all over the damn place or those carrier thingy…arrrrggghhh (plus they don’t have one the goes with your outfit!)
Okay try looking cute carry a screaming baby in your arms that has just barfed all over you TM shirt (O hell to the NO)
Buying formular
Buying Diaper
Paying $150 every week for five years in daycare fees (Omo that is $39,000)
Buying a whole new wardrobe every 2 months because the suckers grow like they are on steroids!
Try finding a reliable sitter for free when you want to go out!
Getting up to fix dinner, breakfast and lunch even when you are not hungry
Buckling those damn car seats!
Reading those senseless books, I read one the other day where the girl turned stripes because she wouldn’t eat her peas! And them damned lullaby’s…so what if Jack and Jill fell down the damn hill…shu call Geico then! Don’t friggin write a song about it!

Needless to say the baby blue went off into the night. Yetti, forget about the two weeks, I am done thinking! I still want one but I will wait until I get married so the dude can share in my misery, expecially that 39K omo we are splitting that nonsense fitty-fitty!

Don’t get it twisted being a mother is very rewarding, I mean the first time your child says mama, the way your eyes well up when she says something smart and then there is the huge tax returns amongst other perks but that’s another blog for another day!

Headlines from the year 2034

2006-01-24T03:16:00.000-05:00

* Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the 7th largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California.
* White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
* Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
* Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
* Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
* Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in Bushra; the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon).
* Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
* France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
* Castro finally dies at age 115; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
* George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
* Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
* Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
* Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
* Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
* Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
* Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
* New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
* Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
* Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.
* IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
* Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
****Extra****
*Nigerian President, Bola Odegbami AKA QueenB, executes all men found cheating!

ROTFLMAO!! Someone emailed this to me!

Happy Birthday Dayo!

2006-01-23T09:49:00.000-05:00

My boy Dayo is 30 today! Let him tell it though and he'll say 28! To be honest I dont know how old Dayo is, he changes his story everyday. Anywho may God bless you and meet you at your point of need always. You will be fishers of men. Joy and favor shall be your portion. You will not be put to shame but men shall see the glory of God upon your life...Amen. Dayo is very down to earth and sincere and he cracks me up, I am glad we are friends. He is also a fine boy, no pimples no wrinkles with a dimple so holla at me if you want his digits. have a fabulous day papi!!!

Stankonia

2006-01-19T11:53:00.000-05:00

This bama walked into the church the other day and I swear even the holy spirit left the building. I mean damn! He was reeking of Angel, Remi and I looked at each other as he planted himself in the seat in front of us. An instant migraine broke out and I had to move my seat! I mean why na? Everybody knows how strong Angel is and if you do more than a couple dabs you start smelling like you took a swim in it. I doubt the brother knew what the deal was because he was smiling at all the chicks like he’d just won the lottery. My girl Dupe has the meanest perfume collection ever, I have like four bottles I fapped from her and she is still well stocked!
So it got me thinking about a topic I posted in a forum a while back.
What is your favorite perfume.....you know that one fragrance you wear that turns every head in a room when you walk in! (not the one you bathe in o I beg) And which one do you find completely nauseating? Well, mine is Dolce and Gabbana....Light Blue. Most nauseating for me is....Red Door.

Invasion of space

2006-01-18T09:50:00.000-05:00

One of my guy friends wanted to get a woman’s point of view as to why women become territorial as soon as you show interest in them. He has been “talking” to this chick for about 6 weeks now and she is starting to get on his nerves. They haven’t slept together and he like her a lot, conversation is great and all and he sincerely enjoys her company but within the first two weeks of seeing each other, she was buying him boxers and cologne. And now whenever she stays over she leaves something behind. First it was her toothbrush, then nightgown and undies, she even washed one bra and hung it in his bathroom and left! She has obtained a drawer to keep her stuff and her body splash and perfume are sitting on the bathroom sink like they belong there. He was so vexed I could not help but laugh at his frustration "Bola she picks up my phone!" Buhahahah; I mean damn…that is somewhat petty innit? But ol girl sef, that one is forward on ya part jo. Reminds me of one time I looked at my man's phone cause it was getting on my nerves to switch it of ni o and I found that some chick had emailed him a semi-nude picture! Damn I should have let that sucka ring! but thats another gist for another day!
I told my friend to chilax and if he plans to have a long term gig with ol girl then maybe he should talk to her about it. He reminded me how sensitive women can be…true that. I don’t know bout yall but I don’t want anyone’s stuff in my crib, be it my man or a girlfriend, I always pack all their shit and take it to them “You forgot these” I don’t know why I just do. I don’t think I am guilty of **territorizing** shu….I want all ma shit with me when I leave for fear some other heifer may come along and dig my shit! Hehehe. Maybe it’s unconscious? So ladies, why is that? Why do we mark our territory so early in the game? Fellas why does it irk you so much? Is he tripping? or is this anothe episode of 'he just not that into you'?

Monday Mumbling

2006-01-16T20:41:00.000-05:00

Since today is a holiday, I sorta didn't work today.....I had major cramps, the kind from hell! Despite my pain, I did Dayo's hair.....besides the fact that she is my girl, she bribed me with some chinese from around ma way...hehehehe, me and food will never part...lafidada.
Aight so in the spirit of Dr. King and all, I talked with dude about our situation...he sounded concerned...mission accomplished. I swear women are drama queens...we know how to blow errything the hell up. Any who....I am having a huge head ache, maybe too much noise this weekend, between the hair gallery digging in my skull like they were looking for gold and the rucus from playng taboo at the Bansidon's crib...I am not sure what to blame for my migrane!

A big shout out to my babygirl Oyinade! Happy Birthday Boo...you know I lu you right?Imma have to put a picture up for you boo cause you too deserve a spread in the Memoirs(HEHE)....the little things you do make me happy to be around you and you discovered the way to my heart...through Princess O...thanks ma! Smoochies!! (January 14)
No.... I am not going to forget Thelma...all you Capricorns...mehn! Happy bithday Missy...We been bestest friends for about 13 years and counting...I pray your heart desires come to past mehn! I miss you sssssssssssssooooooooo much!!!! (January15)

Hey isnt it Tope Awoye's birthday as well? Hmm I cant remember o! well if it is...aseyi samodun o! I got yelled at this weekend, mehn!! me and my OOPPS reputation! And I wasnt even guilty this time!

3 silly things the make me very angry **rather random**

1. Don't call me Iya Molayo...Iya Molly or any of their cousins.....that lady in church got about one more Iya molly before I go Bella Mafia on her!

2. Don't use my towel or my spongue! I dont care if we are married with children! hell I don't care if you are my child.....DO NOT use my towel or spongue!!

3. Don't let your feet touch any part of my body...(Molayo this one is for you!) I hate feet!!!

Okay maybe I gajustatadrishoes......

True love?

2006-01-15T01:20:00.001-05:00

Hey everyone...on a lighter note, this thing will help you determine who your true crush is...hell it work for me and a couple other folks so come on there gve it a try..hey...you've gat nada to loose right?

http://www.crushcalculator.com/content/love/364931263

Stop stealing ma shit!!

2006-01-13T12:44:00.000-05:00

Okay…I know it should not be this serious and no one is earning salary for this blogging crap, hell it’s a hobby, an avenue for releasing stress and letting people into your world. Keyword here is YOUR. It has come to my attention that people lack originality, they copy your style, your words and some just steal a whole fucking paragraph and claim it as their own. da hell? I mean come the fuck on? If you have nothing to write about give it some damn rest, the way to attract readers and get your counter up is not by IMITATING but rather ORIGINATING….do something different….hell be yourself!. Consciously or unconsciously it is human nature to seek attention, I will be the first to admit I will say anything just to get the shock factor on people's faces!
Back at my old blog Blogspot, you were rated on the amount of folks that hit your blog and you even get some cheese from ads placed on your blog. There was this dude there, I helped him get started, introduced him to the bloggy blog world, he did me proud, he always had my attention, I would be on his page first thing in the morning just to see what was up, before I knew it he was number one and I was his biggest fan. Come to find out he “borrowed” some of his material from other writers and was caught with his pants down! Well... he couldn’t be prosecuted or anything but mehn he got so much negative feedback he closed shop….never to resurface in blogville again! Moral of the story….do your own thing, stop biting off others, it starts with a line and before you know it you are rewriting their stories and making it look like you have some sense, only a matter of time before you get caught. The other day I was talking to a friends and she told me about the shameless attempt of some bold heifers to steal her job. It was funny to me because folks need to realize the only thing that sets you apart from the rest is your INDIVIDUALITY and ability to be UNIQUE!
**Side track** this other beesh was laughing at me when I got my braids done…said it was too tight and cost too much money…I ignored her monkey ass….please tell me why said beesh called me the other day to get the number to the braid gallery where I got my do did…..LMAO!!!
If you absolutely must lift something from someone…give them the props they deserve and give credit where due.
For all you culprits, consider this a warning and seize and desist from stealing ma shit! Next time it’s gonna be Ugly, Imma name names and post links! Like my girl Yetti would say….WOOOSAAA and there you have it!

Money couldn't buy this....

2006-01-12T23:29:00.000-05:00

As amazing as my life seems, I am really not happy, I have a husband who adores me. I am a partner in one of the most prestigious law firms and my man is an Investment Banker at Goldman Sachs together we make a quarter million annually. We live in the same estate as Sidney Sheldon and we drive the most luxurious cars, you name it we’ve got it.
My husband and I met about 6 years ago at fundraiser and it was love at first sight, his body was immaculate and his smile could have been a poster board for a Colgate ad. I was there with a colleague of mine and we drooled as he shook hands with the elites of Santa Barbara, I was certain he was an actor, because he had a certain aura the Denzel could not withstand. He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw me; it was almost like he’d seen a ghost and he composed himself, aware that we’d become disturbed at his sudden stare. “Olarotimi Manuel” he offered in the most arousing voice I have heard to date. I felt my knees buckle before me as he reached for my perfectly manicured hand. “Ranti Balogun, and this is my friend Bola Williams” I responded as he took my hand to his perfect succulent lips. We chatted the entire evening and Bola had spotted and old boyfriend so Rotimi and I were alone. We exchanged cards at the evenings end and I felt really warm all the way home even though it was 50 degrees.
By the time I got to my office the next morning, flowers had been delivered. 2 dozens long stemmed white orchids with a card attached that read “I see my future in you” I was flushed, I though of calling him to say thank you but I had a 9’oclock meeting that was mandatory, “I will call after that” I thought. I was absent minded at the meeting, I held his business card and I could smell his scent, the nostalgic feelings overwhelmed me as I replayed our entire evening scene by scene like it was some hallmark movie. After three long hours of endless ranting, the meeting was adjourned and I rushed to my office to call my prince charming. My secretary, Allison met me at the door and said “ you have 12 messages Miss Balogun…from the same person…some Mr. Manuel!” I could tell she was irritated; poor heifer probably hadn’t been laid in ages.
I sat at my desk and read each of my messages…I miss you, call me; you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen…call me; Are you free for dinner? Call me; I am really glad we met…call me; Its Rotimi…Call me. I was interrupted by my phone it was Allison, “Miss Balogun, its Mr. Manuel on line one…. again!”, “Thanks Allison!” I straightened my hair and fixed my collar (like he could see me over the phone). “Well, well aren’t you persistent” I said jokingly and he laughed and said “only when my eye is on the prize”. The truth is, if this was any other man, I would have considered him a stalker and had my girl Bola Williams draw up a restraining order with a quickness but I liked this one, in fact…I really, really liked this one! We were together every single night for the next 3 months, I wanted to take it slow but he always shock the sense out of me with his sweetness. There were flowers everywhere, he wrote me little notes and sent me email, and I had to block him from my messenger so he wouldn’t distract me at work. It was bit overwhelming but in a feel good way. He was so romantic, he counted the dates we went on and entered every detail in his palm. I met his family, very nice folks they told me stories of how he’d always been good with money, never spending a cent and always saving for a rainy day, its no wonder he became a banker helping people invest their money. My friends adored him, he was polite and he always made sure everyone around him was having a blast and then there was that winning smile…what did I ever do to deserve this great man. On our 4th month anniversary or so he called it, he prepared this elaborate meal of Egusi and Eba and even made me pepper soup for dessert. Damn, this is way too good to be true! The man even cooks!!!
After dinner we made love for the first time…or tried to at least. He was having problems keeping his hard on. I was frustrated, I had been waiting for this piece of man candy to put it on me all this time and he just could keep it up! He apologized and told me we’d try again another time.
We were successful the next time around and it wasn’t the best but at least I got some…I was starting to be cranky like Allison from sexual tension. On that night he proposed to me, with a 3.5 karat yellow solitaire diamond. How could I refuse? I had fallen in love; he was perfect, well almost.... we could work on the sex right? Amazing sex took work and in depth knowledge of one another’s body and needs, I had learnt that in my Sexual Awareness class.
We had a huge wedding and invited everyone we knew and it was beautiful…the most amazing day in my life! I was happy but my happiness was short lived. We continued to have tremendous difficulty in bed and sex became more of a task rather that the art it ought to be. I suggested we see a doctor but my sweet husband was far to embarrassed to do that. I managed to convince him after about a year of abstinence by force. I felt my heart drop as the doctor calmly informed us that my Olarotimi had ED, Erectile Dysfunction. So here I am 6 years of marriage and I can count on my hands how many times we’ve had sex. We have tried all sorts of medication, tests and study, money is not a factor, but I am an unhappy woman, who would have thought sex would be the determinant of my happiness.

Not to poke fun at the men with this problem, rather to educate them that early detection makes ED easier to treat, so where your livelihood is concerned, I beg leave the ego and pride out of it and see a doctor. A lot of men suffer from ED; if detected early, successful treatment of ED has been demonstrated to improve intimacy and satisfaction, improve sexual aspects of quality of life as well as overall quality of life.

Happy Birthday Dare!!!

2006-01-11T10:07:00.000-05:00

As you get older, I pray that all your heart desire come to pass according to God's will.
I am glad we are still friends despite all the up and downs (mostly downs…LOL)
You are the most generous man I have ever known and I pray your generosity is returned in ten folds. I thank you for EVERYTHING, the good, the bad and the ugly. Remember that the sky is your limit and don’t leave all your potentials untapped. May God be with you today and always!!

Happy Birthday Egin Mojisola

2006-01-10T10:50:00.000-05:00

Today is my dearest Mo’s birthday, My Ace, My sister, My friend. As I celebrate this great day with you, I pray that God’s abundance overwhelms you and I pray you prosper beyond your imagination. I pray that happiness becomes your theme song and good health be your favorite verse. I pray for a man worthy of you, one that will cherish you, respect you and most of all love you unconditionally. I take this opportunity to celebrate our friendship, I am truly blessed to be your friend and I will always love you. Have a wonderful day Mamasita and have fun at the spa this weekend, I wish I could be there!

So please, everyone, take a moment to send a shout out to one of my best friends!!

Don't worry...be happy!!!

2006-01-09T10:13:00.000-05:00

I have been on cloud 9 for a while now, in fact, it will take a whole lot of bull to dampen my spirit. 2006 has stayed true to its promise of tender mercies. Shit don’t even bother me anymore, I don’t trip about the kinda shit that used to get me all worked up. I am keeping an open mind and I think I am in love…..well maybe in lust. My girl Mo says she doubts I fall in love; I just have a huge heart and love the attention that comes with a man! Hmmm dunno but we’ll see. I caught myself giving one of my girlfriend relationship advice. I told her that I know enough to guide her in the right path considering I have played every kind of fool there is. But of course she won’t listen to me, hell if she did we’d have a problem. Please tell me ladies, why is it that we seek advise from our friends yet we do what the hell we want to anyway. 9 out of 10 , the complete opposite of what our hommies advise? Well, there are a lot of haters so its hard to decipher I guess, hmm hell even the folks that you know love the hell out of you and won't watch you stray become a hater once they disagree with your idea of love. Anyhow, I know how that story ends!

About 5 years ago, one of my very close guy friend and I made a pact to marry each other if either one of us is still single by the time I turn 28, why did dude call me up this weekend, to remind me that I will be 28 in eight months! Agbaya buruku! Its funny cause he has been trying to holler since before I met Princess O’s dad and even after O was born he’d laugh at our relationship like it was the funniest joke, well he was right about that one. ROTFLMAO!!! I was like the hell…so you have been counting the days huh?? Made me realize my ass is old mehn!! We had a great conversation and he told me he hasn’t really made the marriage move because he has seen how folks turn out. He said once women get married they loose the Hmmmph factor and they start looking married, dressing tore up, not getting their do did, gaining mad weight and then when they have kids, it over! It seems like the children are the only things couples have in common. Bye Bye ladies night and cleavage revealing tops and its hello baby shower, naming ceremony and Iro and buba! Is that true? Do we really give up on ourselves when we get in a long-term relationship such as marriage? I vowed that wouldn’t be me and he was like “yeah right! that’s what they all say". Well since two of my dearest friends are getting married this year, I made the heifers promise, to uphold DIVADOM, don’t change, limit the trad wear to Owambe’s and occasional church gear, you know for the bad wardrobe days. I made them promise to still be fun and hang out and they promised to do so…I guess only time will tell.

Back to my blissful state, I swear, I can’t get over myself….I am extremely happy! I have been told I even have a glow…hehehe BLACK WOMAN BLUSHING!!!! Like I told my cyber pal last week, only you can decide what effect folks have on you, it’s a shame to give anyone that much power really…don’t you agree? So for me and mine 2006 is gonna be all smiles….come what may!

New Years Day

2006-01-04T14:57:00.000-05:00

I had mad fun this New Year day. I went to church to start it off right, I released all my anger and dissapointment, malice and what not to go with 2005. It is a new year a new time. If we were beefing in 05...it done, I am sawry...aight?. I am turning a new leaf. Only when you let go of your baggages can good things come to you.
Anyhow. I woke up early on New Years day to cook for Dayo and Tuoyo's house warming/New Year party. I went to church with Princess O in tow. She insisted that we get there on time! That little girl has more sense than me sometimes! We were still late, though I really tried. Anywho service was Bunz we hugged each other and all the mushy crap.....I am not very affectionate if you cant tell. We headed to Dayo's house and the party began. Erybody was up in that micky flick, hell I know half of them werent invited but they came anyway...hmmm. There was tons to eat and drink and make merry. We dance or for some of us tried to dance, I cannot dance for crap! Princess O gets her rythmless nation from me! I am stiff as a brick....well at least were dancing is concerned LOL. Congratulations once again T and D may God be with you always!!

View our pictures on the link attached.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLandingSignin.jsp?Uc=198lat5i.bna63d1e&Uy=94du86&Upost_signin=Slideshow.jsp%3Fmode%3Dfromshare&Ux=0

Happy Birthday

2006-01-03T17:12:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Adedayo Temitope Ashiru-Awani...may God continue to butter your bread....Amen!!!

A New Forum

2006-01-03T12:40:00.000-05:00

So today, I discoved a new Forum...http://p2.forumforfree.com/africanmagazine.html its on the Ariztos website. Wale is doing big things o..mad props....he sha refused to hire me to write for him but its all good...anyhow, I am loving it o...found me a new hobby be that, I remember the days of LVIPLIST courtesy Fash....mehn we had mad fun! I met some of the most fab people on there mehn...My ACE Lolipinpin, now one of my closeset friends, Yetti...the mad talented diva that keeps me rolling on IM...girl you crazy, Ronke...jejebaby, Cyber-pal...my crush, Paulo...my other crush, Baba Degas....and Easy Peezy dude was something else...Oh lest I forget Candy AKA Odaiche.......mehn those were the days o!

So now a fresh one...so far I like what I see, it very orgarnized and shit so it's on!

Sinful Pleasures

2006-01-01T22:24:00.000-05:00

Mama is hot no doubt. I am not talking Oprah Winfrey hot, you know in a mummy kinda way, na, I am talking Lisa Ray kinda hot, the kinda hot that makes all your male friends spend extra time in the kitchen with her and all your girlfriend seek fashion advice and beauty tips from her. Hell at 45 her boobs still stands at attention and her waist is as small as it was 26 years ago, no evidence of the three kids she bore, the natural way no less. I have always had great admiration for her, don’t know if I could do what she did, raised 3 kids on her own without a man, you see our dad left when my youngest brother was born, never got the full gist but I think it had something to do with my brother’s birth, cause Mama was not even back from the hospital when daddy made his leave. I was four and my brother Temitope was 2, but you would never know daddy wasn’t there, Mama was so stubborn she refuses the state mandated child support she was awarded, she said she could do it on her own… I never understood that, neither did I understand why dad was so bitter. I tried to reach out to him a few times but he never warmed up to me, oh well, I guess some dudes were just born dead beats. It broke my heart because I would often wake up from Mama’s sob and I would hold her till she fell asleep, she wouldn't know why she was crying but it never failed, 3 to 4 nights a week since I was 4 years old. I vowed that that would not be me, I am going to find me a man, who will love me unconditionally and would never leave me and our kids alone and cause me to cry myself to sleep each night, and if I couldn’t find such a man, I would die alone cause lord knows I’d rather be alone, than be unhappy.
I am 26 now and I have been dating this guy since High School, off and on of course because I had decided that men were just some unstable creatures and I was not going to put my most sacred eggs in just one basket, so I dated other men, different race, different culture, in search of that Prince I was sure God had prepared for me. Charles was patient though, he told me our first year together that I would be his wife, he watched me with love as I tested the waters and when I came back empty handed, he was always right there. It took us 10 years to get here but I am convinced he was sent down from heaven to be my husband. News of our engagement sent Mama into a depression spell, I am sure she is happy for me, this is what she’d always wanted…. right? We’d talked about this and I have adhered to the plan exactly as she prayed…. what is the problem? I was mad, not at my sweet unselfish mum that has sacrificed her entire life for my brothers and I but at that man who fertilized her eggs and then abandoned them, the coward that did not care enough to fight…to stick it out! I had had it…. tomorrow, I will find this man and I will ask him questions and I will not leave until I have answers.

My answers were not what I expected. He welcomed me with open arms, offered me a drink and some food he had cooked himself he assured. I was not there to eat, I told him coldly. “I am not going to beat around the bush” I prepared him, “Why’d you leave us? It wasn’t for another woman because you still haven’t married. You have no other children so its not that you are pre-occupied, what is it? What did we ever do to you daddy?” I cried desperately. I could tell he was fighting back the tears and after an uncomfortable silence he said “Ifedapo my dear, you are much older now so I guess the time is right. I do have another child or maybe I should say did. His name is Obatayo, he is much older than you about 40 years old now exactly, I had him when I was 17, his mother died while giving birth to him and I thought I could never love again until I met your mother. I was much older than her but in those days it was all right. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on and wanted her to be my wife. I vowed to take care of her till my dying day and we were quickly married. She was a good wife but an even better step mum to Oba despite their closeness in age. We quickly had you and your brother one year apart. Life was blissful to say the least we would travel abroad on vacations and throw feasts on holidays. It was important to your mum that she stayed at home because you guys were so young and needed your mum. The arrangement was fine with me because I ran businesses and they were all at their peak. My world shattered shortly after your brother was born, the doctors said he was anemic, he needed blood and your mum had lost so much during her long labor. To further complicate matters, he was diagnosed with Sickle Cell disease. I told the doctors this was impossible considering I am AA and your mum is AS, worst case scenario, he should only have a trait, the doctors insisted that the tests were accurate, so your mum and I were tested. The test revealed that I was not Enitan’s biological father” at this point my father was pale; a familiar look of disappointment was on his face. Tears were pouring from his eyes, I couldn’t help it, I wailed as I sat frozen pinching into my own skin! This must be a joke or better yet a nightmare; any minute now someone will wake me…right? We sat quietly for a few minutes then he continued, “I looked at your mum and the doctor left us, all the blood drained from her face, she was as white as a ghost! ‘Honey, is it true? Tell me who? Why? How? When?’ I could not stop the questions, she seem so happy, barely left the house, never said or did anything that would cause me to suspect she was unfaithful. I waited for a response and rage took over me and I strangled her, I strangled her with the intention to kill her. I would kill her as she had just killed me, she fought for her life but I held her down and shouted ‘WHO? WHO? WHO?’ I release her and she whispered with her dying breath ‘Oba..Oba….Obatayo and then she passed out. I confronted Obatayo because I was sure I had misunderstood. He confirmed it, told me they had fallen in love since the day she moved in with us. He begged me for forgiveness but how do you even begin to forgive that?” I was frozen with shock, with anger, with disgust, at this point I was no longer crying, I felt numb “My dear there is more” my father continued “Obatayo is your father and Temitope's father as well”………To be continued

2006...My year of Testimonies

2006-01-01T04:38:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year to you all in blogville. In this New Year.... May God be the driver of your bus. I pray all your heart desires come to pass according to His will. May everything you touch prosper. May His healing hand be upon your soul. May He meet you at your point of need and embarrass you with his favors. May your testimonies be filled with good news and miracles...Amen!!

Y.T.
QueenB

Judge NOT

2006-01-01T04:30:00.000-05:00

My mouth fell open wide, as I entered Heaven's door,
Not by the beauty of it all, nor
by the lights or its decor.

But it was the MOFOS in Heaven
who made me sputter and gasp--
the thieves, the liars, the sinners,
the alcoholics, the trash

There stood the kid from seventh grade
who called me Shaka Zulu.
Next to him was my old neighbor
who never said anything nice.

Hell to the Na...that heifer friend of mine,
who slept with my man.
I know that aint My baby daddy! I could have sworn he
was rotting away in hell, but nooooo he
was sitting pretty ! on cloud nine,
looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, "What's the deal?
I would love to hear Your take
How'd all these sinners get up here?
God must've made a mistake.

And why's everyone so quiet,
so somber? Give me a clue."

"Hush, Omobolanle," said He "They're all in shock.
No one thought they'd see you here."

Judge NOT.

Dear Lord...It me again!

2005-12-29T13:07:00.000-05:00

Father, in 2006, I want my refrigerator to look like this

And my pantry… like this!

This lord is my solemn prayer!

I went to one of my friend’s house the other day and these are actual pictures of her pantry and fridge! No they are not having a party....it is always like this…I mean Dayum!!!!...it reminds me of Iya Risi Provisions and goods store in Alade market.
So to All...I pray.....May you always have food on your table and may your fridge and pantry be fully stocked…always…Amen

How I spent my Christmas

2005-12-29T12:53:00.000-05:00

Christmas this year was way different than it’s been the last few years. I usually spend my Christmas moping about all the things I did not get this year but I tried a new system and it was exhilarating! Hell if I knew it would be this way I would not have been a grinch all those other Christmas’. I was still shopping Christmas Eve, getting Molayo some presents to put under our artificial plant and makeshift Christmas tree. I convinced Omolayo that she did not need to take a picture with Santa, cause that was really Mr. Eugene from next door playing pretend…I think she bought it. Oyinade got Molayo the build-a-bear teddy she has been going on about forever.
I can’t believe those things are that freaking expensive! I pitched in for some shoes for the damn bear and it was $8! Hell to the Na! Okay so after shopping we went to Remi’s house my dawg
Lola was in town and I had to pick her up. Ade made a mean Efo Stew for her man and I helped them eat it so it wouldn’t waste...LOL. We headed home to get ready for church in the morning…my baby was acting in a play and she was one of the angels. Come Christmas Day, we scurried to get ready for church and nearly missed Omolayo’s part in the play, to everyone’s shock Omolayo refused to go on stage…”I am scarred Mommy!” she said amidst tears. I told her it was all right and she did have to perform. I spoke with my family and my mum was stressing the fact that they were having such a great time and I was totally missing out. I spoke with my sisters and brothers and my niece and nephew. I decided to cook for Christmas last minute, and everyone came over for Christmas get-together.

Tuoyo, Dayo and Dayo were leaving for another Christmas party and I decided to follow them, I left everyone in my house and Lola and I promised to be right back. I did not get back till 10pm and by then they were all gone. Hey I did not have an absolute blast but it was definitely a very merry Christmas.

I see cheap people!!!!!!!

2005-12-27T11:26:00.000-05:00

Hmmm…..so Merry Christmas and all that stuvs!
Finally our Christmas Party at work on Thursday! Anywho…. I did not win the nano at work…some other story won so I was a bit disappointed. My Secret Sante gave me a huge jar of candle and a candle warmer…I love it! We were told to bring an extra gift between $15 to $20 for Dirty Santa…incase you’ve never heard of Dirty Santa, I will explain. Everyone brings a wrapped gift with about the same value, in this case $15-$20. We then draw numbers to see who gets to go first. There were 25 people that decided to participate, #1 goes and picks a gift, unwraps it for all to see and then #2 can either take #1’s gift or pick a new gift from under the tree. #3 can take either #2 or #1’s gift or get a new gift etc until we get to #25 who can take any of the 25 gifts or take the last one under the tree. Once another person takes your gift, you must go and pick a new one under the tree. #1 gets to go again at the very end and take any of the 24 gifts the others have…..gerrit?
Anywho I was #8 and I took #1’s smoothie maker, I have always wanted one and I figured all the Oyinbo’s probably had one. I was pleased with my choice and sat down only for #12 to come and snatch my smoothies maker!!! I now had to go get another gift from the tree…..and lo and behold…it was a bottle of Lucky Brand perfume! Did I mention it was a tester bottle? As in the fucking sample size! As in 00.17 ounce! As in Hell to the NO!!! Arrrgggghhhh! It really, really, really, bothers me when folks do shit like this! I mean come the fuck on!!! Let me just add that participation in dirty Santa was optional and the rules were clearly stipulated o! Why in the hell would anyone be such a cheap ass! I continued to look in the bag because I was sure there had to be more to this gift. I could not hide my disgust at the trifling ass that even bothered!
This is actual size O!

The actual look on my face!

That heifer was trying to mess with my ho ho sensation…I aint let her though, shuuu I went to the mall and bought myself a big bottle of Isi Miyaki

Merry Christmas

2005-12-22T11:55:00.000-05:00

As the year comes to an end I can’t help but acknowledge the great things God has done for me, many of which I haven’t deserved but you know how merciful my Savior is. I am blessed with a family that loves me, a child that adores me and friends that make my life worth living. I have a roof over my head clothes on my back, and food on my table. I am in good health and high spirits and to God be the glory.
I like to thank everyone in Blogville for the love, the hash truths and the laughs we’ve shared….you make blogging worth while. I want to thank my dearest friends the fabulous 6 you know who you are. I appreciate you for all you do to make my world alright. I even want to thank the haters, your existence validates me. I want to thank E ….baby you have been a true friend and I appreciate you and all you do. Charles….I know I am the biggest pain in your butt but I am glad you came into my life. Omolayo dear…baby, I love you, you are my life, the happiest moments aren’t complete if you aren’t by my side (beyonce), I am glad God chose me as a vessel to give you life, I love you more than anything and anyone in this world and I pray that you will make me proud. A special holiday shout out to my brother Gbolahan….I am glad you reached out and I am sorry I missed out on your life, I will do my part to make sure we stay family. To my sister Nikky…I am sorry for everything, regardless of how far apart we drift….know that I will always love you. Oyin and Gbemi….yall know I have mad love for you and I am soooo glad we are blood. Elisa…May God bless you as you have blessed me and embarrass the hell out of you with His Grace and Mercies. Mummy dearest….you are my rock, my role model, I would be most grateful to God if I can be half the woman you are, your endurance and integrity is remarkable…you are everything I hope to be! Thank you Dare, for all you’ve taught me, I hope the New Year brings you good tiding and you find everything you are looking for. To my babies, Lolade, Dammy and Oyinade….I am sooo proud of yall and I pray God will guide you in your paths always. I hope I didn’t forget anyone…if I did…get over it! Hehehe

Yall have a Merry Christmas!!!

My new year resolutions

2005-12-22T11:52:00.000-05:00

This year I will;
Get closer to God
Eat better
Exercise
Take my drugs
Take better care of myself
Stop smoking
Improve my relationship with my self
Improve my relationship with my sister
Clean more
Be true to myself
Get better grades
Lose Weight
Buy a new home
Read more
Humble myself
Paint more
Cook more
Get a tattoo
Take a vacation

..........so help me God.

FaCT oR FIcTION

2005-12-21T10:27:00.000-05:00

As part of our holiday rara, we are playing this game called fact or fiction. You are supposed to list two stories about yourself and one of them should be fiction and the other true and your co-workers are to guess which is which. This would be easy because oyinbos are so gullible! I still had one ask me the other day how my hair grew so fast? @%#*&#^)(??? Anywho so I listed my two stories and I could hear them in the lunch room trying to figure out which one is true.
Story one:
My grandfather married 25 wives had 106 children and 399 grandchildren of which I am 302.
Story two:
I am heir to an oil field in Nigeria, but I cannot cash in till I get married and stay married for 6 years and have 3 kids.

The buzz around the office is that Story two is the fact and Story one is fiction! Buhahaha if them dolos only knew! Oil wetin? I wish!!! hell if I had that kinda dough coming, my ass would not be here playing games with white collar folks! I’d be laid out in Maui somewhere taking Don P baths and being fed grapes….shuuu!
I will leave them to their guessing game. The person who gets the most facts right and the one who is able to fool the most people will get a nano! Yall better bring it, cause you know my ass is winning!!!

I guess my other story sounds unbelievable too huh? Well that one is a fact! My grandpa did marry 25 women! Yes he had 106 kids! At the last count the grand children were 399! Damn we have a big ass family! My grandpa died when he was 112 years old! I’ll let you know how it pans out tomorrow, wish me luck.

Evaluation of the 05

2005-12-19T10:03:00.000-05:00

Feel free to copy me and evaluate your person on the year 2005. As a yearly tradition, I evaluate myself and make some resolutions fro the new year...I never keep them all but I try. Surprisingly my year is ending on a good note. I usually get majorly depressed around the holidays...but this year I am feeling pretty good! Oluwaseun.

1. What did you do in 2005 that you’d never done before? I told my sister off...kinda regret it but she asked for it!

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more
for next year? Nope, Yup

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Na

4. Did anyone close to you die? Nope

5. What countries did you visit? None

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005? A faithful
man

7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Tuoyo’s birthday….day I discovered I was so so naive

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I squashed my beef with Remi

9. What was your biggest failure? There is not enough room to write

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Lots

11. What was the best thing you bought? My gold shoes!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My boo boo Molayo

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Omo Ibo

14. Where did most of your money go? Shoes

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? My Camera and new cell till I found out I can't text!

16. What song will always remind you of 2005? Ayefele….Remi and Moji wore that mess out this year mehn

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter
iii. richer or poorer? Richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Go to church

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Shop

20. How will you be spending Christmas? With my Dawg Lola, E and Princess O

22. Did you fall in love in 2005? A few times….I am a hopeless romantic

23. How many one-night stands? One night werrin?

24. What was your favorite TV program? ANTM

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last
year? I hate no one…I dislike several people.

26. What was the best book you read? He’s just not that into you

27. What was your greatest musical (re)discovery? India Ari

28. What did you want and get? My Camera

29. What did you want and not get? An A in my classes

30. What was your favorite film of this year? Crash

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I went to dinner with some friends and the big 27

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more
satisfying? Everything I didn’t get

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
Hey! I held it down

34. What kept you sane? My vision

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Tyra Banks….I know a lot of folks hate on her but that bitch is doing it!

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Tsunami

37. Who did you miss? God

38. Who was the best new person you met? Toyosi and Charles

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005: Don’t be too
vulnerable….cause folks will take advantage of ya dumb ass.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year…I’m Every Woman!

Answers

2005-12-19T09:19:00.000-05:00

1. When is my birthday? August, 30 1978
2. What is my favorite food? Eba and Efo
3. What is the one thing I would change about my self? My boobs
4. What is my favorite slang? Warefa
5. What is my fetish? Shoes
6. What is my greatest fear? Fear of being alone
7. List 6 of my best friends Moji, Remi, Simmy, Thelma, Imade and Bisola
8. One thing you know about me that no one else knows….I have no secrets, not even one!
9. What is Omolayo’s middle name? Feyintoluwa
10. Who is my celebrity crush? (Pick One) Taye Diggs, Djimon Hounsou, Ashton Kutcher, Mos Def, 2face….Mos Def

.....And the winner is ......Remi.....you will get a special present from Santa this Christmas Remi!!!

Lalalalalala

2005-12-16T13:08:00.000-05:00

I am bored. I have read all my emails, called all my friends, chat, went for a walk and I am still bored. Its the end of the year and my office is a joke, everyone has gone bye bye and now I am sitting here about to loose my mind cause have crap doo doo to do. Maybe I should go for a ride....hmmm yup thats it! I am going for a ride..see yall later!!

The Ho Ho Virus...In the name of Christmas....

2005-12-15T12:16:00.000-05:00

So what if I caught a bit of the HO HO Virus this year! I am usually the Christmas grinch and I was so enjoying my title until my co-workers blackmailed me into this Secret Santa BS. So today I got a gift card to chick-fil-a…that is just sad! They know my hefty ass stay hungry! People were getting snowballs, candy, mugs and other HO HO paraphernalia but nooooo…give the African girl some food! you know they are starving in her country LMAO!! I aint mad though…..I will be cashing in on my gift card any minute now!! HEHE and I wonder why I can’t shed the extra 10 lbs that has taken permanent residence on my butt!
Okay so as a tradition, I post this same entry come Christmas.

This christmas you're all getting forks I've stolen from numerous restaurants with a note attached saying: if anyone asks, you didn't get this from me. So there, or better yet, I'll give you stolen napkins cus I may be able to milk some money out of that homeless guy down the street for those forks...sorry.

But this year, imma be nicer and actually give a gift to the person that gets the highest score on my “what have you learnt about Dqueenb” questionnaire. Just post your answers in the comment section.

****To all my anonymous Domo’s……eh you can’t win if I don’t know who the hell you are! ****

What have you learnt about QueenB

1. When is my birthday?
2. What is my favorite food?
3. What is the one thing I would change about my self?
4. What is my favorite slang?
5. What is my fetish?
6. What is my greatest fear?
7. List 6 of my best friends
8. One thing you know about me that no one else knows
9. What is Omolayo’s middle name?
10. Who is my celebrity crush? (Pick One) Taye Diggs, Djimon Hounsou, Ashton Kutcher, Mos Def, 2face

***My boss just passed by and told me I was doing a great job! Hmmm if he only knew? HEHEHE

Hook-up 101

2005-12-14T11:37:00.000-05:00

So I was chatting my cousin yesterday and he was asking me about all the fine chicks on my page and how I can hook him up! I thought for a moment and since my wrath has no bias I put him through the drill. I am famous for hook-up, its what I do, I have been successful in hooking folks up and they end up married however I haven’t managed to hook myself up. I have had a few hook-up mishaps like the one time I hooked Mo up and the dude was sweating in AC! Really bad perspiration problems!! Man! And then there was the dude I hooked LA up with that was always high on marijuana…I did not see that one coming. And how the hell was I supposed to know that other dude didn’t speak English? Hell its his second language now! It’s so bad that my dearest friends have banned me from hooking them up; they were starting to feel like a charity case. My guy friends are sick of me and “Oh I know this chick that would be perfect for you”. One time I called this dude up out of nowhere and I was like “I saw you the other day, noticed you had a little something about you and I think you and one of my best friends will make a cute couple” I know when I started, dude must have been like damn this chic is forward, I bet he was disappointed it wasn’t me! HEHE LMAO!! Hell I even do International hook ups. I hooked my Ace T up with my Dawg Akin and they lived happily ever after. If only I can just hook my damn self up with a man worthy of me.
Aight back to cousin….so I was like okay K you need to send me your resume so I can match your skill set with a viable candidate. He was like "what you want to know?”.

I started with Age? How tall are you? How much do you weigh? Are you fluent in the English language? Can you write it? Are you legal? Are you Nigerian? If so where about? Any baby mama lurking? Do you at least have a BS? What do you do? Annual Income? Do you own a property? Is your car paid for? Where do you live? Can you relocate? How is your credit? Blood group? Blood type? Is your mother deceased? Any female siblings? How long was your last relationship? Are you a democrat? What is your estimated net worth? Other than me, are you related to anyone fabulous? (He LOL at that one) I typed furiously to make sure I had captured all the need to know bases. Please attach three recent photos (front view, side view, and traditional attire) I don’t know what happened but I think he blocked me from his IM!! ??????

Are you a good blogger?

2005-12-13T10:37:00.000-05:00

I read a very interesting topic on Ore's Blog about blogging and she offered tips about being a good blogger. I don’t know if I want to be a good blogger, I blog because for me its therapy, it used to be my safe haven to pour out my thoughts and let those without bias into my world. These days it’s more of an entertainment avenue for me but sometimes I want to write something so bad but I can’t because almost everyone I know reads my blog and I will definitely hurt some feelings.

Oh how I really want to blog about the chick who betrayed me and the heifer who copies me and the fake ass who talks about me behind my back and smiles in my face and the cowards that sent me a text message from an unknown destination. I especially want to blog about the guy who broke my heart and the one who wants to marry me despite my faults and the one I hate to love and that one dude that has remained in my radar through it all. I really want to blog about what I did last night. I want to blog about my sorrows and how it hurts to not be what you envisioned at age 14. I want to blog about my spending habits and the friendships I question. I want to blog about the girl that looks like a baboon and the one with a jacked up hairdo and the one that looks like she gets dressed in the dark. Oh how I want to blog about that insecure chick that is so so cute but has an ugly complex. And the guy that made a pass at me though he’s got a girl and I really want to blog about my plans for the future. I want to blog about those who mistreated me and those who dare to judge me without taking a good look at themselves first. I really feel the need to blog about the pompous asswipe that had so much shit to say about me and hadn’t even met me. I want to blog about the ones that lied to me and those that repeatedly take my kindness for a weakness and use it to their advantage. I want to blog about my weakness and compromising my principles. I really want to blog about my family and how we’ve grown apart. I want to blog about my dream and where I see myself in a few years. I probably should blog about my fear of the unknown and how sensitive I am. I want to blog about my addiction and what I am doing about it. The list goes on and on….but instead; I settle for metaphors and hypothetical rants because I refuse to be that faceless coward I detest so much.

Another jumpoff!

2005-12-11T20:30:00.000-05:00

What started out to be an uneventful weekend became a fun filled one. I was supposed to go to MD for the weekend for Wande’s going away party and as usual I procrastinated on buying my ticket until it became ridiculous. Anywho I rented a car on Saturday and drove down to MD. Besides the party, one of my girlfriends from Naija…Lola Lana was visting the states and this may be my only chance to see her. I got to MD at about 7pm and went straight to Mo’s house to change for the party. Moji had left for the party so I let myself in and changed quickly. ****Side bar, I did not make any stops on my 4 hour drive to MD even though I had to pee really bad, I hate using public restroom and I have been particulary hesitant since my cell phone incident, Argh!!! Anyway I rushed to Moji’s crib and ran up three stories only to find I had peed on myself! At freaking 27! Oh hell na!! I can't tell Molayo that I had an accident, I will never hear the end of it! Feel free to laugh at me….its all good!**** Anyway back to my trip. After a quick show and glamming up, I headed to Seyi’s house to see my Dawg Omolola! She was just like I remembered, we screamed and yelled for about an hour before I headed to Wande’s house. The party was aMaZiNg with the usual suspects in tow. I even saw my boy Niyi there. The food was bananas and the DJ was on point, taking us back forth through eras. And let me tell yall about the FOINE brothers in the hIZ-zOUsE, it was vicious but the tall dark and lovely ones I usually dig were either married or bout to be! Dayum!!!
I was exhausted from my trip so I packed a greedy-man size to-go and made my exit at about 1:30am…the party continued without me.
BTW this was a going away party thrown for Wande by friends because baby girl is going Wild Wild West Coast! Good luck Wande, I wish you all the best!
I headed back to Seyi’s crib to chill with my hommie Omolola, we gisted till the wee hours of the morning! It was good to see my girl after 7 years! Wow…girl we rocked Ibadan in those days didn’t we boo? MeHn if I should die…this very day…. please note: I lived a fun filled life and I am grateful to have met all the wonderful people in my life!
I drove back to NC in record time and stopped by the naija store….omo I am craving some fried goat meat stew…big time!

hmmmm....well at least they are related

Snapshot...ignore the dodo grease on my forehead

Dont know what the hell busola and mo were doing!

......

Shola...looking fierce!

So long wande!

butts r us

crashing....1

crashing....2

Earth tones galore!

Bukkilicious....

checkout the mean shoe game!

.....

No.... I am not wearing contacts!

Moji niyi and I

Omolola and I just waking up

Bored!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-12-09T12:05:00.000-05:00

I am bored! Bored Bored Bored!!!! What to do? Someone please help me, I need excitement! Its friday and I am bored out of my mind. I will blog shortly, as soon as I figure out what about!

Back in the day....sometimes I sit and wish I was a kid again!

2005-12-08T13:28:00.000-05:00

O my goodness.
Today we gon go back way back in the days when we were in school.

I have some pretty vivid memories of my High School days.
I grew up in the States and at age 14 my parent felt like I needed to experience Naija first hand…damn the stories. They joined force and deceived my ass to go on vacation, I should have known they were up to sumtin considering they never agreed on anything. After a couple weeks, I was thrown into some ghetto ass school at first Methodist Grammar school in Ibadan….mehn it was horrid. I was beaten for not kneeling down on the assembly and telling the principal it was barbaric to ask us to do that. Then they beat my ass for not wearing uniform…as if? My aunt who I lived with at the time was not very cool, we didn’t do anything fun but I met a few folks (Tope Fawehimi, Funmi Palmer, Laoulu Coker and Busola Coker) around my way and they took me out to parties and stuff but it was getting old so I moved to Lagos. At first they threw me in Ifako International School in Iju…not a bad school but then I was friends with the proprietor's son so I chilled at their crib from time to time. I made some awesome friends; Bukky Ogundehin, Toyin, Mike, Benji and Tunde Gbadebo it was weird because I could barely speak Yoruba…I understood fully but my Yoruba was Egun-ish. I also met Deola Suberu who was from Jand and some Bisola chick that used to Lie that her mum went to Yankee to do groceries….Oh how dumb we were!
After getting caught for writing a letter about the school matron and Housemaster panashukwing I left ISSI and moved in with my grandma. My grandma was one of those societal old ladies that refused to embrace old age, I honestly felt like she wanted to be like my cousins and I that’s why we didn’t get along. She put me in Apata Memorial High School in Isolo which was cool cause I met a lot of cool people and my cousins all lived with me
(all our parents were in Yankee) and we collectively drove grandma crazy!
I remember walking to school cause we lived in Isolo. I remember making friends with Remi even though she was in a different click, down with da click, Buhahaha and I was in Unique babes; My cousin bisi Akerele, Sinmbo Osude, Thelma Akpe and Bola Odegbami. I remember sneaking out of school and being chased by our pshyco proprietor the ‘Great Apata’ may his soul rest in peace. I remember getting flogged on my first day of school!
I had on my bell bottom jeans and platform shoes (LOL) and feeling like the shit walking into the school compound. It was a shortlived because Apata ushered me to the front of the assembly and asked me to bend my back, I had no clue he was about to flog me! Imagine the nonsense! My crime apparently was not standing at attention during the pledge! I remember my then best friends and still my best friends Sinmbo Osude and Thelma Akpe and Remi Ladejobi. I remember knowing Moji then but being indifferent towards her because she was not popular. I remember dating Laja Adande and being jealous cause Joke liked him and she was cute. I remember Toun aroloye and my Ace back then Tope Awoye. I remember being the second most baffed up girl because no one could beat Tope (Even Today). I remember Bunmi Oyefodunrin (Gangster bitch) and The cute ex-navy chap…Femi sumtin. O lest I forget Tosin Oloye…badass and Wale Yussuf. I remember Mikilo and Abayomi Lawal.
I remember a party that our rival click had on a soakaway and Nepa taking light and the heifers had no generator! I remember Remi coming back from Yankee our final year rocking her knee length cork heel boots and body hug.
I remember Moji’s pop watch that was bigger than her head! I remember the girl had nasatall and was flat chested! (Look at her now!!)
O my gawd! I remember mama sac! Her sweaty ass serving us contaminated rice! Damn!

O sweet sweet memories…..Naija was the best 6 years of my life..fa real!!

By popular demand...... here is the couple!

2005-12-07T13:50:00.000-05:00

An addition for Down with tha click Picture donor

Bling Bling!!!

2005-12-07T12:39:00.000-05:00

Break out your shades cause its bout to be bright up in this micky flick!

Not only did Dayo and Tuoyo buy a mansion, they are now officially engaged!
Dayo called me yesterday to tell me the wonderful news. I promised to come by her crib later to see the beautiful rock, my dawg Tuoyo planted on her finger. Let me tell you as my folks would say “Iroyin o to afojuba” the ring was like that! Round cut diamond on Platinum cathedral setting perfectly accentuated by the four brilliant round diamonds supporters on each side!
After examining the ring and daydreaming, I listened to the romantic proposal that came with it.

Tuoyo called Dayo up late at night after returning from work and convinced her to have dinner with him at the cheesecake factory (he chose a causal dining restaurant so she would not suspect what he was up to) Anywho….Dayo reluctantly joined him for dinner, she noticed Tuoyo was in high spirits (hell I would be too if I was returning to my 5 bedroom mansion) Okay so after dinner Tuoyo insisted that he wanted a cheesecake and Dayo rolled her eyes because a few minutes ago he just mentioned how stuffed he was. Dayo asked him to get the cheesecake to go but he told her he wanted to 'experience the cheesecake at the cheesecake factory'. Dayo remained seated grudgingly as they waited for the cheesecake to be served. The waiter came with a slice of cheesecake with a lit candle. Dayo was confused and thought perhaps they had mixed up the orders. Upon inspection she found that on the plate was written the words “Will you marry me?” Tuoyo got down on one knee and brought out a box which he opened and repeated the words “Will you marry me?” and what did my crazy ass girlfriend do? She snatched the ring out the box and placed it on her own finger! O lord!!!
There was an applause from the other patrons as they waited for her response. Finally in the midst of tears of joy Dayo yelled out “YES!!! YES I will” and the rest is rated R so I will spare you.
A big congratualtions to Dayo and Tuoyo and I wish you all the good tidings a blissful marriage has to bring. Again…let the panashukwu begin!!

Hair or Wig?

2005-12-07T11:35:00.000-05:00

Inspired by Anon, I felt this was definitely a subject to be discussed.
Hair maintenance is very important for women. Granted we all have our bad hair days but on the real we need to keep our hair on point. About six months ago I had a hair mishap and I applied glue to my hair thinking it was remover. I ended up shaving my entire skull Kojak style! Thankfully the look was not bad and I had the balls to wear it. Hair has not always been my strong suit as per I have none.

The first mistake women make is trying to perm their hair at home….a big No No
Then we sit in the mirror for hours trying to curl the shit….more like fry the rest of the hair we have.
Then there are those makeshift weave you had your hommie put in for you, leaving you looking like beauty shop reject…..NA
Let me not get started on the pony tails….that is so 80s! you slap on all the gel in the world and clip on some extension that is very obviously not yours!
If you have a receding hairline….please do not get cornrows going all back…it just aint cute.
And O my God those wigs…don’t get me started on the wigs from hell!

I was stuck wearing a wig for about 3months because I got a new job and I did not want to seem too afro centric with my bald head lest I scare the white folks so on my way to the interview I bought a wig and slapped it on. I got the job and I was stuck with the wig for the 3 months my assignment lasted! That was horrid!!!!

The reality of it is if you want to keep your do on point, you have to invest in it, or not...you could sport a low cut and texurize it as long as its not pubic hair coarse like mine! Or you could do an Afro and keep it natural, if you gat some Indian in ya family.

Get your perm regularly and professionally
Get a trim with the perm.
Use good hair product…stay away from Dax and alcohol based Oil sheen
Minimal use of heat
Moisturize your mane.
Wash it regularly…there is nothing cute about smelly hair! Try Pantene for black folks…off the shizzle!
Tie a scarf when you sleep.

There are several other horror hair stories but feel free to add yours.

Getting to know you

2005-12-05T16:53:00.000-05:00

Hopefully we’ll get to know each other this way…there are a ton of Nigerian folks on Blogspot and I think we should get to know each other, I saw this on Xanga and I think its cool so here is how it works.
The Rules 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "5 weird habits of yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a blogspot entry about their 5 weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 5 people to be tagged and list their blogspot IDs.
Can you dig it? Me first
1. I am obsessed with shoes, I sometimes get them 2 sizes too small if they are the last pair and I really like them….90% of my shoes are uncomfortable but I wear them anyway.
2. I have no cut cards, I am extremely outspoken and don’t necessarily think about what I am going to say next, I just say it and in retrospect I think about how I could have said it differently.
3. I am way too nice and I allow people to take advantage of me then I realize it later and I am bummed and I hate them for life.
4. I layout my entire outfit for each day the night before, including underwear, jewelry and shoes.
5. I have a really bad temper and when I get mad I vent and scream then I get quiet and cry. ( weirdo!!)
ThE ThInGs I'd PrObaBlY NeVeR TeLl!...
Confessions of the mind
Monef
Igo Wordu
so-obscure

What a weekend!

2005-12-05T12:11:00.000-05:00

My Aces from MD came through this weekend; Mo, Bukky and LA. I made them fried rice and chicken only for the heifers to get here at 11 and tell me they were not hungry. We stayed up all night and fought for sleeping space. Bukky quickly resigned to the couch. I refuse to vacate my bed o! I mean, I cant sleep on the floor, I will get a crisis!! Okay so all three of us squeezed ourselves on my queen size bed. Bukky got up early for her hair appointment and decided to call my ass every 5 minutes for directions.
On Saturday we decided to go shopping and catch a movie then get dinner and finally go bowling. Moji made reservations at Maggiano. We roamed the mall forever and bought everything our wallets allowed. By the time we were done shopping there was no time for a movie so we went to dinner. The food was aight! I ate calamari for the first time, it was good, La explained it was some sort of squid…eeewww!! We had chicken and mushroom pasta with grilled salmon and had cheesecake and some brule` crap for dessert. In my opinion we should had had efo riro and eba…but then no one asked me.

I invited some of my Raleigh peeps to join us for bowling…Lolade, Dammy, Dayo, Bayo Dare, Myself and my MD folks ended up going…it was funnnnn! Considering I don’t know how the hell to bowl, I even wore the bowling shoes against my better hygiene judgment. My team won, thanks to Lolade, she was so good her scores made up for mine. After bowling we hung out outside the alley for about an hour, gisting and carrying on.

On Sunday we barely made it to church, pastor’s sermon had me thinking about the changes I need to make in my life, I wish we had church twice a week that way I can stay focused on where I need to be, mehn being righteous is hard o!! So after church we went out to Mongolian grill for lunch, it was really cool to hang out with everyone. I am so glad that my peeps came for the weekend even though we fight all the time, its all love.
It was hard to say goodbye but I will seem them again next weekend so it all good.
After my girls left I went down to Tuoyo and Dayo’s new crib……MEHN talk about cribs fa real!!!! This house is absofuckinglutely magnificent! Mansion mehn! It has five bedrooms, a separate dining room two staircases! A deck, full basement that is bigger than my townhouse sef, and OMG the master bath! It had my dream closet in it HIS AND HERS that is the best crib I have ever been in for this yankee wahlai! Dayo and Tuoyo….I am so proud of yall! Your discipline has paid of majorly and God will continue to bless you beyond all your expectations. I beg let the panashukwu begin so we can fill those walls!!!!
I headed home to get ready for the week…Damn! Monday again….back to reality!!

(Scroll to the bottom for pictures!!)

Date from Hell!

2005-12-02T11:32:00.000-05:00

I got the most random phone call last night; I was in a mellow mood waiting for my egg to boil. I had this craving for indomie with boiled eggs and mixed vegetables, don’t ask, I have not been able to kick Naija out of my system, not sure I even want to but I digress, so my phone rings and I almost ignored it cause I did not recognize the number, but that would mean ignoring all calls cause I recently replaced my phone and cant remember anyone’s number. Anywho it was a 301 number so I am thinking its one of my hommies right? Wrong!!! It was a guy from like 2002. I wasn’t sure what to say to this dude, thoughts of him bring very disturbing memories I’d like to keep that way. So I try my darnest to be polite as per an early start on my New Year resolution. He told me he just came across my number and he wanted to see what I was up to. I told him life was dandy and that he caught me at a bad time because I was about to clock in at my 3rd job (hey…that was the best I could think of) I promised to call him over the weekend. After hanging up I replayed the horrid details of my encounter with this dude, I was laughing so hard it I started to cry…. literary at what my love life had reduce to, mehn I garishoes.

Aight so here is the story…..My boss at the time, who you will hear more about BTW, decided to hook me up with one of his friends, I figured why not, I was newly single and he was Nigerian…sounds like a plan, I mean worst case scenario…we don’t click and errybody goes their way.

The guy calls me up and we chat on the phone about the usual, what do you do, where’d you go to school, what do you do for fun and crap of the sort. We decided to go out that Friday because we both had the day off and I had plans to go out of town for the weekend. I wanted to make it a day date so he picked me up at about 3 for a late lunch.
I dressed very casually because it was like 100 degrees outside and we were just doing lunch and a movie.
Molayo was at school and my girlfriend was over my crib. I looked in the peep hole as he knocked and all I could see was a huge head, I became very nervous and asked my girlfriend to get the door and say that I had an emergency, she was like “hell na”!
I opened the door to find this 5 foot guy standing there with stained buck teeth and dressed in brown slacks and a peach leather coat (did I mention it was 100 degrees?). We exchanged greetings and headed out. He asked me where I wanted to eat and I was planning on going to Lex but I dine there so often, I could not bear to take him there dressed like Bobo the clown, so I suggested Cheesecake Factory, he said the wait was too long and I agreed. Then I suggested my TGIF and he said their food was lousy, at that point I told him to pick a place because I pretty much eat all kinds of food. He said he remembers me saying I liked Chinese food and he knows this great spot in Arlington(Please note, I lived in Lanham Arlington is about an 1.25 hours away). I figured it must be a fabulous restaurant so I agreed. After driving for about 15 minutes I started to sweat so I asked if he could turn the air on, he politely informed me that the AC in his car did not work and I should roll down the window. By the time we got to Arlington I was drenched in sweat. I patted my forehead dry as we headed to what appeared to be a carryout! Oh hell na! Please tell me this bama did not just drive my ass 70 miles to come to a carry out! I sat quietly as it donned on me that this shit was happening fa real! I picked up the paper menu to order because I really was hungry as hell and to my dismay everything on the menu was $3.60! Is this a freaking joke? I ordered beef with broccoli and bottle water and the cashier told him the cost and the next thing I heard was….’water is $1.25?’ he asked the cashier with disbelief. I found an empty table and ate in silence. After the meal, I was ready to go home, I told him I was exhausted and we should do the movie thing another time. He asked me if everything was alright and I said yes and he said he has really been looking forward to this date and I should go see the movie with him. I felt bad and I agreed. At the theater he asked me for my student ID! Huh!!!!No he dirent! I looked at him alarmingly and then I said “Its 5’o’clock! It’s a matinee and you can’t get a student discount, its $5.00!” he laughed and said “Oh OK”. It was a Chris Rock Comedy but I could not laugh, I was just thinking about the 100 things I’d rather be doing. After the movie I insisted he take me home. He had the nerve to ask me if I had a good time….AS IF!!! I thanked him for lunch and the movie and told him I did not think we should see each other again, he looked disappointed, I was furious, and I could not wait till Monday to tell my boss about himself.
On Monday I marched in my boss’ office and he smiled and asked me “how’d it go?”
I looked at him pissed as hell “ Are you kidding me? What did you think me and your friend possibly have in common?” I told him about my date and he laughed so hard he fell out his chair! I guess the joke was on me.
Not sure if there was a lesson to be learned from that experience and I am usually not judgemental but Dayum!!!! I aint saying I’m a gold digger but I’ll be damned if I mess with a broke niggar!

Ordering Pizza in 2007.....LMAO!!

2005-12-01T13:17:00.000-05:00

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?"

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."

Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Email address is sheehan@home.net. Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."

Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"

Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd Like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "What?!?! What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it.

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your Local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn also."

Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repro'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday"

Customer: "Well I'll be a @#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here on September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?"

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!"

Thankgiving weekend

2005-11-29T17:35:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving started a bit early for me, after all I have a lot to be thankful for. I left work early on Wednesday still feeling a bit woozy from the flu I caught last weekend but I will spare yall the details. I took some Nyquil and some Theraflu and went nigh nigh. Thursday I decided to spend the day house hopping with Remi, her brother was in town so I went down to her house to see him; Back in Naija, I had a major crush on this dude, largely because he ignored the hell out of me! But now that I am all grown up…he has moved on and is happily married!!! Story of my life!! (Brother Folabi…it was great to see you again!) we ended up going to Remi’s Uncle’s house. As usual I ended up playing Chef boladeee, we went back to Remi’s house to get dressed and we rolled out for the night. I had mad fun, it was nice to spend the evening with all my favorite people.

Day 1 of no sleep: I did not go to sleep on Friday, instead I allowed Dare to drag me to Comp USA for an early start on Black Friday. I ended up getting a digital camera! YES YALL! I finally have my very own digital camera!( Remi…maybe you can get me the case and SD card for it?) We spent the rest of the day roaming the mall, buying all kinds of foolishness.
Dammy decided that she wanted to hang out on Friday as a before party for her scheduled RaRa on Saturday so I quickly washed up and got ready for our big outing. Day 2 of no sleep: Dayo picked me up and we went to this Moroccan joint were you sit on the floor and inhale flavored tobacco; I was soooo trying to be open minded but warahel? I was done after about five minutes and we changed venue to this hotspot called Office. I had an amazing time wilding out! We finally headed home after about 4 hours of undiluted techno and oldschool. I could not sleep the rest of the night, I had managed to accompany my flu with a crises! After about 2 hours of self-medicating I needed to go to the hospital! If I did not get a shot of vicodin soon, I cannot be held responsible for my actions! I opted for a govt hospital because my ghetto ass has no health insurance. After the usual drill I was given fluids intravenously to hydrate my ass and then a milligram of diludid with benadryl and they took blood samples for my lab. After about an hour, the doctor returned with my labs to tell me that I do not have sickle cell therefore she will have to discharge me. WTF! I guess this is the part where I should be grateful that by some miracle, a disease I have nursed for 27 years has mysteriously left my blood! I would except for the tiny fact that I was in Crises at that very moment!!!!! Dare told me of a cousin of his who went through the same phenomenon…hmmm, I will need a second opinion before I break out the courvoisier. Anywho I went home to rest for a few hours before I start Day 3 of no sleep: Dammy was downstairs freaking out because there was no one to cook for her party, I couldn’t let my baby gir down so I went Rambo in the kitchen, delegating like an award winning chef and cooking Jollof rice, fried rice and chicken in record time. I took my leave and retired to my very inviting bed.
I woke up around 1:30 from the sound of my vibrating water closet and the random YEEEE!! YAAAAAAAHHHH! coming from the floor below me. I jumped in the shower and dressed quickly and made my way downstairs.
It was pitch black and I could hardly find my way to the door! Where are my damned cigarettes and who are all these people? I saw some familiar faces in the kitchen and I found a spot to sit and observe the most jumping party I have seen in my entire time in Raleigh. I went ouside with some friends to see the maze of cars in my otherwise calm and quiet Oyinbo neighborhood. Hell! Imma be evicted come Monday!!!

For more pictures click here:
www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLandingSignin.jsp?Uc=198lat5i.4t27iftm&Uy=-yvwofr&Upost_signin=Slideshow.jsp%3Fmode%3Dfromshare&Ux=1

It was quite an evening and even though I felt like crap I had major fun. The last guest left at about 4:30am then Dammy and her friends cleaned up my entire crib. My walls are all messed up with grinding marks and my carpet is in dire need of a steam clean; I have 15 bags of trash out back for trash day and not a single thing in my frigerator to eat or drink. But other than that..It was a great weekend!!
Happy Birthday to my baby girl Dammy…I lu you boo!!!

Obey your parents!

2005-11-23T15:16:00.000-05:00

Okay yall…picture this.
Girlfriend and this dude have been dating for like 2 years, they finally decided to tie the knot and the grooms family will not give their blessings because home girl is Ijebu and dude is Ondo…WTF? Apparently there is some kind of beef between the two states from way back in the Black and White days.
They truly love each other and all but the wedding plans have been postponed till kingdom come because of this?
Goes to show how backwards our people can be! That’s like saying you Shoniqua and Taoriq cant get married because he’s from LA and she’s from NY…. Huh?
This is like the third time I’ve see this same crap.
What are your views?
How far are we willing to take this ‘obey your parents’ when their views are a blatant disregard for our feelings?

Reality ........think about it

2005-11-23T15:11:00.000-05:00

Sisters:

You dont want to BE his mother.....

but you want someone who is like YOUR father.

You say all men are dogs....

but you should know ALL DOGS ARE LOYAL.

NO one wants a pimp....

but we all LOVE the thug.

MEN ain't crap....

but we will drop our friends in a minute if he calls.

Don't want to be a SEX symbol....

but at the club you are GRINDIN' all around on the dance floor in your

"new club outfit."

HATE mind games...

but at the club your name is shoniqua, when your real name is Shakki.

BROTHERS:

FLAUNT your jewels, clothes, timbs....

but COMPLAIN about a gold digger.

WANT to be Big Poppa....

but NOT to be a daddy.

Want a woman WITH her head on right....

but constantly search for that BANGIN' BODY.

Complain about the WHITE man...

but will DATE his white daughter.

Want a woman to STAND by your side through it all....

but claim that she CROWDS you.

Too young for a RELATIONSHIP....

but ready for RELATIONS.

PRIDE- I SWEAR THIS EGO IS A B^*&&^!

2005-11-21T11:08:00.000-05:00

I am not the author of todays post, one of my dearest friends sent this to me to share with others on my blog. I wish I had some good advise for her but yall know I've got my own issues. True story, she call me up on Saturday to vent, I am usually the one bitching and she listen and comforts me but the tables were turned and I don even know how to be there!
Baby girl...I guess all I can do is listen and just know when ever you feel like venting...... I am all ears!!

Ok. I’ve been laying low with my thoughts but I just had to send this for you to post cause I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I read your question on the cheating thing and going through my own sea of thoughts I really had to stop and ask ‘What is it that keeps us doing things that we shouldn’t or don’t even want to do?” Then it hit me! Some have said low self esteem but I think it also swings the other way. Some people reading this might think I don’t have an ego or there’s no pride in me, but dare I say we all walk with a degree of pride that manifests itself in different forms. Some are more blatant than others and some are so silent and such a part of who we’ve trained our mind we are that we don’t’ even see it and we resort to saying “oh that’s just me” or even worse, we cloak it under the guise of self worth. Let me explain: I’m a firm believer in not settling for less, recognizing your worth and all the self affirmations out there. But I think it is this same affirmation that pushes us into that fine line called pride. SO we pump ourselves up and when things and people come into our lives, we have this “I deserve it” or “Can’t happen to me” mentality because I’m this and that: “I have this degree and I shouldn’t have to work that kind of job”; “I’m so good that I have to be the only one or he/she wouldn’t cheat on me”; “I’m a kind person and people have to like me”… I think a bunch of the heartaches we endure are self inflicted and we don’t even see it. Example (since we’ve been talking about relationships I’ll use that): There’s the person that u never really paid attention to until everyone else was trying to get at them so u say I’m gonna get them (ego). You get them & y’all start kicking it and things are cool. Then you drop in ever so often looking fab and playing the seductive roll so that he/she gives in and you prove to yourself once again “see how much he/she wants” (ego). THEN you find out you’re not the only one! Now your mind’s all messed up and you’re wondering how could this happen (ego). You’re all wrapped up in trying to understand that you forgot the fact that you DIDN’T want them to begin with, that you know there’s no future with them and that you know there’s someone more deserving of you. Let’s not forget the fact that you said you were done the last several times they were a jerk, or the time you messed up and said God if you get me out of this, I won’t go back, or those subtle gut feelings you had that said let it go or the dream you had showing you to let it go. NOOO. You’re still caught up trying to figure out how and why me or why not me. Even worse, after all that, you’re still toying with the idea of going back there again. Now what in a sane person’s mind would cause us to go through all that trouble/mess/heartache for something we don’t need or necessarily want and STILL want to hold on? Then some scriptures popped in my mind: “When pride cometh, then cometh shame” “A man's pride shall bring him low: but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit” “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall” Dare I say it’s our pride- the pride that says this couldn’t have happened to me or it must have been a mistake so I’ll give it another try to prove that I was right and that obviously he/she/they think more of me that they’re putting out. It is this same pride that causes us to put up with things, people and get in situations that we know better. Usually by the time we realize how deep it is we’ve already experienced the shame and fall. But I think God permits us to go through these mistakes to remember that no matter how highly we think of ourselves, we’re still human and our natural instincts are still active. To show us that we need to constantly rely on Him to give us the ability to discern when we’re acting in pride and to grant us the humility to know when to bow out. SO for all of us that have messed up, will mess up, or are messing up- Leave it up to God cause He’ll still get the glory out of our mess, He’ll bless and use us IN SPITE of ourselves and we’ll come out stronger on the other end and be a witness to someone else falling so they know they’re not alone and it too will pass. Now some of us may have several retakes and may even get knocked back a grade, but if we study to show ourselves approved, we WILL, not might but WILL pass the test.
OK- that’s all for now. post away

My dearest June Bug

2005-11-18T14:59:00.000-05:00

My buddie’s last day was today, it was very sad to see him leave but he got a great offer elsewhere so I aint mad at him. Jim was really great to work with we joined the company at the same time and we learned together, we smoked together, we carpooled together we ate lunch together. My fondest memory of June bug, as I fondly call him, was when he called me 2am one day, wasted from drinking and I was like…the hell? He goes “hey B, don’t bother picking me up this morning, I am not gonna be able to make it to work” I was like “June…. its Saturday, we don’t have work this morning!” I never let him live that one down. Jim is officially my first white friend, well not counting the 7th grade Alicia Broadhurst, she was a mess, had snakes for pets and always wore black nail polish, but I digress, so I am really gonna miss working with Jim mehn!!!! Yesterday I organized a going away luncheon for him at Bennigans the turn out was really nice. I am really happy for Jim but bummed that he’s leaving. There goes another one of my confidant. It is amazing how people randomly come in and out of our lives. I mean folks you are cool with now may not necessarily be the ones you are cool with in 5 years and the ones from 5 years ago have somehow fallen off your radar. I don’t know if I am alone in my thoughts but I truly value my friendships and despite my issues I have kept my closest friends over the years and made some new close ones. So Thelma, Moji, Remi, Simmy, Bisola, Imade, Dayo, Lola, Elisa, Bukky and E.I…have I told you lately that I love yall?

As my faith is tested.....

2005-11-17T11:20:00.000-05:00

Aight today’s discussion is promised to be very controversial but let me state my disclaimer so it does not turn into a personal attack.
I am a Christian, I believe in God, I believe he died for my sins, I also believe NO ONE has the right to judge me or doubt my righteousness but God. I believe being a Christian is having a personal relationship with God. I am a sinner, I acknowledge that so let he who is without sin caste the first stone. Having said that…I’ll get on with my discussion, or rather, a question that has been troubling me since last Thursday. I contemplated not discussing it but I am flesh so my curiosity won the battle.
So I was on my way to my part-time job as a Marlboro girl and my supervisor who happens to be 22, was talking about religion. He stated that he was not an atheist but he did not have a particular religion. I felt the need to introduce him to Jesus. Told him the word says “Jesus is the way, the truth and the light” and “Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God” He looked at me as if I somehow made sense to him then he said “Bola do you believe in dinosaurs” I was like what does that have to do with becoming a Christian but I indulged him and said “yes we have the bones in the museum to prove it”. Then he asked “how long do you think they existed?” I told him I had no clue, I failed my evolution class. “According to evolutionists, their remains and fossils proved that they lived about 140 million years and they became extinct 65 million years ago” he offered.
I was getting bored with his evolution garbage so I asked “there is a point to this right?” then he asked me what was my guide and my reassurance that Jesus is the way, the truth and the light. I told him the bible said so and the bible was inspired by God. He threw me off with his next question. “If you believe in Christ and the foundation of your belief is the words written in the Bible, how then do you explain Genesis? I was like huh? Then he went on to say “According to the bible ‘In the beginning God created heaven, and earth and the sun and the waters and plants and animal and man; man had dominion over all the land the plants and the animals right? I nodded in agreement “If all of this took place in seven days, where are the dinosaurs? Please note that the average dinosaur weighed about 40 tons and stood 20 feet high, so man and dinosaurs could not co-exist, the bible makes no mention of dinosaurs and even when Noah built that ark, there was no dinosaur in there so how do you explain that” he continued. “If in fact dinosaur were long extinct before man then the bible’s account of the beginning is Bogus and if man and dinosaurs co-existed why was such an enormous animal not mentioned in the bible?” I was not sure what do say or how to answer his question, I was not even sure it was my place to try and explain it so I said “being a Christian is having faith, and faith is believing in things you can’t explain” I was obviously getting aggravated so we dropped it, but I cant help but wonder if he had a point somewhere in his misguided ignorance if there a valid basis for his questions.

ROTFLMAO!!!!!

2005-11-15T21:33:00.001-05:00

If you schooled in Naija, I know you either sent this letter or received it! How cute!

At school, July 10, 1994

My dearest, sweetest, fondest, fantastic, extra-ordinary, paragon of beauty a.k.a Bola. I hope this letter meets you in a fabulous state of metabolism, if so doxology. My principal aim of writing this letter to you is to gravitate your mind towards a matter of global and universal importance, which has been troubling my soul. The matter is so important. Even as I am writing, my adrenaline is 100 per cent on the Richter scale, my temperature is rising, the windvane of my mind is pointing North, South and East at the same time; the mirror in my eyes has only your divine image.

Indeed when I sleep, you are the one in my medulla oblongata, and I dream about you.
I went out to sea in My dream, and I saw you: surrounded by H20 and you in your majesty rose from the abdomen of the sea like Yemoja, the avatar of beauty.
Oh, Lord be with us! We are thy servants. As you can see, I am in a serious dilemma. And I want you to take my matter seriously. At this junction, what our Lord said on this matter is germane.

He says we should ask, and we shall be given, we should seek and we will find, and that we should knock, and it will be opened unto us. I am this 10th day of the seventh month in the year of our Lord, one thousand, nine hundred and seven eight, asking, seeking and knocking at your door. My prayer is that thou should open so that thy servant can enter. I want to wake up in the morning and see only your face.

I want you to be the only sugar in my tea, the only fly in my ointment, the butter on my bread, the grey matter of my system, the oxygen in my head, the planet of my universe, the wall clock of my room. The conveyor belt of my soul. I pray that you realise the gargantuan nature of my predicament.
If you refuse, my life will be like tea without sugar, like a snail without shell, a Xmas goat without a horn; in fact I'd become an orphan.
In fact I'd kill myself. What is life if I can't wake up in the morning and behold your face?

You model of pulchritude, patiently created by God on a Sunday morning before he went on a deserved holiday. Please Bola, let me be your Romeo. Make me the Adam to your Eve. Shakespeare said it all: if music be the food of love, play on. I want to emphasise, universally and responsibly, that you are love itself. You are the metaphor, oxymoron, thesis, antithesis, irony, gerund, conjunction
and the adverb of love.

At this juncture, let me also say that geography of your body is a permanent alleluia. Not from your body, ammonia, urea and iodine - you are too beautiful for that, what I see in your body is milk and honey. At this juncture, brevity is the soul of wit.
A stitch in time saves nine. Procrastination is the thief of time. An opportunity once lost can never be regained. Make hay while the sun shines.
All that glitters is not gold. The journey of a thousand years begins with a step. What God has put together let no man put asunder.

To be a man is not an easy task even if God's time is the best. But time waits for no one. A man without love is like a fish out of water.
I know you are a sagacious girl. If you like the veracity of what I am saying, please fill the attached form and let me have it pronto.

The mark at the bottom of this page is a kiss from me to you.

I remain Your beloved, faithful, loyal, One and only admirer.

Tunde

Form

what is your name? Age?

Do you have a boyfriend? If yes, please state why? If no, please explain?

Do you love me? If no, state why. If yes, doxology. What is your hobby?

Which is your favourite food? Mother's occupation? Father's occupation?

Are you from a polygamous home? Is your father rich and handsome?
Is your mummy also a paragon of beauty like you?

What do your parents want their son-in-law to become in life?

Only a Naija person would say....

2005-11-15T21:26:00.000-05:00

1. Insult upon injury
2. Nonsense and Ingredient
3. If i sound u ehh, I will soon slap you
4. How Far?
5. Can I see your particulars?
6. Anything for me sir?
7. Are you mad?
8. Half-caste
9. Next tomorrow
10. Make I come block you dia
11. Lie, Lie
12. See me see trouble oh
13. Shift small for me lemme sit
14. abeg vamus / abeg commot
15. nonsense say wetin happen
16. Abomination
17. Over my dead body
18. God forbid bad thing
19. I need to retouch my (h)air
20. any word with 'bloody' e.g. bloody fool, bloody
liar, bloody idiot
21. Na wa oooo
22. Tell me something
23. Why do you want to know my name?
24. Abeg joo
25. Can u imagine.....
26. wonders shall never end / cease
27. Tofiakwa (n some people feeling janded will say
TUFI!!!!)
28. Chei, Kai
29. Oya me we dey go
30. Hold on lemme branch somewhere
31. Come and Escort Me
32. Stop at that junction over there
33. Borrow me your pen/biro
34. Still yet
35. Me and you will enter the same trouser
36. You are so annoying
37. Why? Because Y has a long tail and branches
38. What is the time? Quarter To buy your own
39. Effico
40. ITK- I too know
41. Muumu
42. How are you? 'We're managing'
43. and so what?
44. I want some assorted biscuits e.g. Rich tea,
Digestive
45. Your face look familiar or similiar(kano horses)
46. You are so daft
47. NFA- No future ambition
48. Are you already ready?
49. That is so dry!
50. My belly is full
51. Did they sack you?
52. I trekked all the way here
53. Where is the toilet, I want to piss
54. I want to drink cold mineral
55. Which ones now?
56. Can u imagine, he was trying to toast me
57. Jacker
58. Your head is not correct
59. Have you seen that film before?
60. Just imagine!
61. My school fees money
62. No wahala!
63. Revise back small
64. Oya, shake body
65. Shine your eye
66. Carry go
67. Don't try me o
68. Enough effizzy
69. Nna, You chop?
70. Ashewo bastard!
71. What happen?
72. We must wash am!
73. Eeyin, but why? (meaning ore/aboki/friend-- why
now?)
75. No be soooo!
76. I will see you today, athink?
77. Cold iced water!
78. abeg commot 4 hia
79. we’ll hook up next week
80. dat chick is BUNZ!!!!!!!
81. BEANZ!!!!!!!!!!!
82. Na Yam?
83. Shakara
84. Na so we see am o!
85. How we go do am now?
86. Like say....
87. You can't do more than a dead rat...
88. Na you sabi
89. cold dey catch me
90. I no send
91. shey you grab
92. ma guy, leave am
93. you dey jones
94. you go roast
95. na for your head
96. we go jam
97. I go burst ur head
98. Bros how far
99. How e dey do u
100. No be Goooood?
and my personal invention......101. ugarishoes

I am so proud to be nigerian mehn!! I remember when I was younger I was so ashamed of my culture and heritage.... I even changed my name to Keisha in order to fit in with the American kids and to keep the MOFOS from calling me Shaka Zulu and Afican Boodie scatcher!!! Now I am just so fucking proud to be a Nigerian its borderline arrogant!!

What do you do when your mate is untrue?

2005-11-15T10:33:00.000-05:00

Yesterday’s post got mad responses; I had some folks call me up to add their two cents and some shy ones even emailed me. Good to know what folks think, the majority agreed though that it is possible and depending on the circumstances even inevitable….Hmmm very interesting indeed.
Aight so today I have another question. What do you do when you find out your partner, lover, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife has been dipping on you? Do you cut the sucker off? Do you forgive and move on providing he/she doesn’t do it again? Does it matter if it’s with someone you know or is it better with a random no one. Please lets think before we speak because a lot of us front like our shit don’t stink and recite that lame mantra of a naïve man/woman. Let me paint a scenario so you catch my drift. You have invested time into a relationship, love for one another is not in question, temptation gets the better of your mate and they bologna bop (I just learnt that one, hehe) with someone else, you find out, they apologize sincerely do you:

A) cut the sucker loose
B) forgive and forget
C) confront the outsider
D) cheat as well and call it even

I know it must be harder once you get married, I mean how you deal with this crap after you say your vows. A guy told me recently that you can still cheat on someone you love and it doesn’t take away from it…I beg to differ but if you do find out what do you do? How do you deal with it?
As for me, I had a rule but I have come to find rules are not applicable to matters of the heart.

Things that make you go HMMMMM!!!

2005-11-14T12:07:00.000-05:00

So is it true what they say about once debe always debe? Allow me to translate….. Can your ex still hit that after you’ve broken up? Is there always going to be something that keeps you connected? Can you ever just remain friends or will there be some rekindling down the line? I am curious. In my opinion I guess it depends on why you broke up, how painful it was and whether or not you’ve moved on. If yall are not even speaking, it is very unlikely that you will be panashukwing anytime soon. What if you do get down…..do you feel guilty afterwards? How do you handle the tension you create especially if your issues still exist? Do you even want to bother? For men its different because I have been told that they do not necessarily attach any feelings to sex, for them it is just an act, they can get up and shake it off and go about their business. For women, it’s a lot different, it’s emotional and you get all caught up in the moment and attach more meaning to the act than necessary.
With all this complication, why would you even wanna? I am not sure if its fact or fiction, I guess it really just depends on the circumstances.

This week......Get to Know Mo

2005-11-11T10:43:00.000-05:00

1. Name - Moji
2. Age - In my 20s
3. Zodiac sign - Capricorn
4. DOB - non of ya biz
5. Profession -Recruiter
6. Hobbies - traveling and cooking
7. Schools attended - Apata and SJSU
8. Favorite book - Dating Game
9. Best friend - too many to list
10. Where are you from? ondo state or should i say CA or MD
11. Favorite food - Anything Thai
12. Ideal mate - God fearing, Loyal, Honest
13. Most prized possession... my car ..yeah i know it's a Honda :)))
14. If you had one wish... to be in Atlantis right now just laying on the beach
15. Dislikes... procrastinating, fake peeps
16. One thing you would change about yourself... hmmm.....nada
17. What drives you? success
18. Describe yourself in one word -Fabulous....
19. Who has had the most influence in your life besides God.. My mama
20. Words of advise for QB - It is well gal.. Leave it to the almighty. :)))))

My girl Mo!! Long overdue but let me tell yall about my ACE. We went to high school together and she was sooooo not a babe so we weren’t friends. Its funny because she was best friends with one of my best friends Simmy. I didn’t particularly dislike her but I didn’t acknowledge her either. So back in yankee, I was at a party and we were about to leave and I saw a familiar face. I grabbed her hand and said “ hey I know you but I cant remember your name” she looked at me and said “ Bola Odegbami!” I was like “yeah but whats your name?” she said “Moji Akinyemi” I looked baffled then she offered “Simmy’s friend” and it dawned on me! My, my…Moji had blossomed since high school o! We exchanged numbers and we’ve been inseparable since then. We fight a lot which is typical of great friends, I am the stubborn one and she is the reasonable one. We share similar taste in everything but men. I love being around her because she finds me hilarious. Sometimes I have to bitch slap her ass because she is butter (spoiled). I especially love that she has my back always and is supportive of me regardless of what I do. Mo you are my sister and my friend and I will always love you.

P.S…..Moji is spoken for, so brothers stand down!!

Going down memory lane

2005-11-10T10:48:00.000-05:00

I love taking pictures, I have a ton of pictures of myself my family and friends, I even made this collage some years back with all my pictures, I am thinking of making another one, not that I am particularly photogenic or anything but I love the history behind it. Going down memory lane and revisiting each stage of your life and enjoying it. So what happens to the pictures that remind you of a past you don’t care to remember? What do you do with those? I keep them anyway because your past is what makes you who you are; the pain the joy, the bitter and the sweet all ascribe to your character today so why erase them? So I stayed up last night looking through my albums and it was amazing how much I’ve changed. Physically in the last five years I have gone up 3 dress sizes, from a 3 to a 9. On some days I am grateful for the weight because I was border line anemic but I filled out nicely (if I may say so myself).Believe it or not, they used to call me Bola Spaghetti because I was so damn thin but after my daughter I blew up and I have not gone down since. Then there is the personal growth. I have been through so much hardship in my life and I have learned from each one of them, in fact it has made me a stronger person. I remember I used to parry like it was my birthday erryday but these days when I go out I just sit and observe, I can’t get with the jumping, jumping anymore it’s amazing! What’s even more amazing is watching Omolayo grow with me. She is five now and last night she was trying her darnest to impress my guests with her new reading skills, it makes my heart leap! Her vocabulary is incredible and she is even more sarcastic than I am. Please take some time out to revisit your past that way you can be better prepared for your future if you don’t take pictures…starts now… create memories for your future.

Me in 1997

My favorite Picture

Omolayo and I in recent times

E mi nikan tan!

2005-11-09T09:55:00.000-05:00

Yepa! God is good o! All the time! I am telling you, he has been doing great things in my life and I just cant believe it, I know I have not deserved 1/10 the blessings he’s bestowed upon me but he still manages to overwhelm me with his tender mercies!!!
Sometimes I wonder what he would do if I achieved my ultimate goal in walking in the path he designed for me, it would be absolutely divine!!!

Alright so yesterday I was vexed beyond my imagination and I spent the better part of my work day abusing my keyboard. I then made a couple calls to Remi and Moji and vented even more. I was so upset, I had a headache. Finally at about 5pm I decided to resume work and put my troubles aside. Apparently the whole time I was engaged in monkey business my boss had sent me an email asking for my extension! He sent me the email at 12:15 and I was just reading it at 5! I was scared that someone had reported that I was upset and I was gonna get it big time! I looked everywhere for him and he had left for the day. I called his cell and it was switched off.

Later last night I had to go to a meeting for my Phillip Morris job, it was a refresher on proper procedure. Our lead bought us drinks and appetizers and we chilled for about an hour and a half. How cool is that? Meeting over drinks and things and getting paid at the same time!

I decided to come into work early today and talk to my boss about yesterday. He told me he was only trying to update his directory with my new extension. Phhhhheeeeewwwww!!!!
Boy am I relieved!!!! I headed back to my desk and got a call from the agency that hired me. The lady told me that she was calling to let me know that I have been given a 15% raise! Huh? Why? I asked her, she laughed and said because you are doing a fabulous job!! E ba mi ki Alleluya Meje Sombory upstairs loves me.

My synopsis, I am not doing a great job, I come in late, leave early, work from home on almost every Friday, blog on company time, vent on IM, catch up with my friends on company phone, on company time, dialing long distance and when I am not doing all that I do my homework! So I know it wasn’t anything I did O!! That was just God and boy, am I grateful!!

Thank God for Remi…the voice of reason.

2005-11-07T18:56:00.000-05:00

OMG I was mad today! Livid in fact and of course when I am that pissed I lash out on my keyboard and type furiously but Remi helped me regain my sanity and calmed my damn nerves, her and the pack of cigarettes I inhaled one after the other. We talked today like we hadn’t in ages and I realized that I jeopardized all that for NOTHING!!!
Damn the veil was lifted and for that I give thanks to God. Mehn Therapists deserve every penny they earn cause I tell you when you can talk, you are half way there.

So I called in reinforcement for Junebug since he is leaving in like 10 days and I was told my friend was hired only for our agent to call back and say that someone else got the damn job! I was upset about that too! But not as upset as I was earlier! I need anger management I swear, unless there is a calm person around me when I’m pissed, I tend to do the most irrational shit! (O God, please instill in me a spirit that is slow to anger…AMEN)
See me see flying cows o! I was sitting at my desk jejely and trying to get some work done finally and this recruiter sends me an email to go for a break with, the following is what ensued;

Recruiter: Wanna go for a break?
Me: Na…kinda swamped right now but thanks
Recruiter: Swamped? So swamped you cant take five?
Me: Na ….I got mad work to do…maybe later
Recruiter: Come on….just one cigarette, I even have my own this time
Me: Its not about the cigarettes, I am really busy
Recruiter: What Ever!!! Hooker
Me: ??????
Recruiter: You are such a snob! I don’t even know why we are friends!

Where in the?…what the? ..why? who? Huh???
Aight so please help me understand where I went wrong …and hooker? Emi Omobolanle? Kai!!! Oyinbo don kill me finish o! I was waiting for the punch line cause this is a joke right? For a few minutes, I though of a response, then I typed;

Point of correction, we are not friends, we merely work together and as such I am not obligated to take smoke breaks with you, never mind the fact that we just took one 45 minutes ago! I do not appreciate you calling me anything other than my Government name so please refrain from the insults. In the future, I’d advise that you find someone else to keep you company in your idle time.

I almost sent it then I remember that I’ve been told I come off as hostile and angry and I really don’t want to be that person anymore so instead I deleted it and did not respond.

She came by my desk a few minutes before 5 and said “Listen, I was way out of line earlier and I apologize, I am just having a really bad day” I smiled and responded “ No problem” and it really wasn’t.

Vexation of spirit is a waste of time, Negative thinking don't you waste your thoughts, Verbal conflict is a waste of word, Physical conflict is a waste of flesh( got that from Wale's blog)

Lesson learned…. don’t sweat the petty things, pet the sweaty things (Is it just my dirty mind or does that have a sexual innuendo?)

AS IF!!!!

2005-11-05T12:36:00.000-05:00

My girlfriend and I were talking the other day and she told me about some random no one that does not like me. Usually I would have been like “ pick a number biach and join the line” but this time its different simply because I don’t even know the heifer! Never seen her, never spoke with her nada! So I am thinking. …Damn I’m famous! I’ve got haters in every area code!!! So I am going bananas trying to figure out where this random no one knows me from and I called Mo up cause I’m told the chick lives in her hood and she was like who? Is that the name of a street in Naija? Buhahahahah… that was funny! I swear Mo is stupid. Okay moving on…since I have wwwwaaaaayyyy bigger fishes to fry.
To all the haters anonymous…pucker up and kiss my royal (QUEEN B) ass!!!

My buddy Jim from work is leaving! He got a great offer and he’s moving on to bigger and better things! This boy is mad cute, majorly talented and as humble as they serve em and he is the first Oyinbo boy that has tickled my fancy…. but (hell you know there had to be a but!) he is only 25! I know folks are like so what? Age aint nothing but a number? But the hell it aint! I am not into older men at all but I need em to be at least my age! Anything else for me is robbing the cradle! But damn! let me tell you them young blood are coming up quite nicely!!!! But I deviate, so Jim or June Bug as I fondly call him is leaving me in 2 weeks! No more car-pool, no smoke partner, no happy hour buddy! Babe you will be sourly missed!

Ah so there is this new thing from google where you can create you own search engine and instead of google you can insert your own text. So I made one for myself. …click below http://www.pimpmysearch.com/php/set.php?gname=Queen%20B#

If you must be like me and you want one too……… click here
http://www.pimpmysearch.com/php/mailcreate.php

Don’t forget…..life’s too short so enjoy!!!

The longest post ever!

2005-11-02T11:20:00.000-05:00

Hello all my peeps! Yeah I have been gone for a minute but I am back!!!! My little break was good for me. I was going through so much that I felt I need some ME time. I am feeling great these days though, a lot of great news and some in the making, I will divulge later.

A quick run down of what I’ve been up to.
A little drama here and there, lots of blessings, renewal of friendships, cleaning of closets…. you know a bit of everything. I finally got tired of being bald so I got Kiwi’s sister Deola to braid my hair. I am still working as a temp but I have some things in the works. I met someone but I am so scared of being punked….again so I am taking baby steps.
So I went to Charlotte for a friend’s party a couple months ago and I swear the whole experience was like punked! I kept waiting for Aston Kucher to pop out and tell me this was a freaking joke but he never surfaced, I guess my ass aint a celebrity after all.
So I went through one of the most awkward shenanigans that left me really disturbed but what amazed me more was how quickly I snapped out of it, realizing that life is weird like that. I also realize you should never compromise who you are for anyone. In life we go through drama but it’s all good so long as there is a lesson learned…needless to say I’ve learned my lesson.

Remi and I have squashed our beef……I apologized to her for tripping and although we still have a long way to go I think the foundation has been laid. I have spent the last two years of my life in denial but now I am back! Speaking of Remi, my girl got a boob job! Yes O! Not implants like I will be getting soon, but a reduction! Now baby girl is a DD and looking hella good!

Before ..............................................After

We had a surprise parry for Dupe at my crib….it was fun, kinda like my first major social since I came out of isolation mode.
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=kpr5tgf.7835m8j&x=1&h=1&y=-yko16y
Click here to view more pictures from the parry

It is amazing what a broken heart does to you! Mehn I totally freaked out, I was starting to scare myself. A friend of my told me to snap out of it and stop my addiction with pain….I was a bit confused with that but now it makes sense. I realize I am not the problem and I have no regrets because now I know what NOT to do, besides it was mad fun while it lasted so every time I want to bitch slap myself for not listening to my friends, I stop and thank God for the experience. Ladies here is some truth for the day….Men are not DOGS, we (women) are just foolish….period! I urge everyone to cop a copy of ‘He’s just not that into you’ put it right next to your bible and meditate on that sucka day and night, only then will you realize, he will treat you however you let him so don’t compromise your integrity and loose yourself in any man!

How about my Ace Mo is living the good life! It’s a bit too early and I don’t want to jinx things but my boo is blessed! Boo bear you deserve it…I wish you happiness in abundance.
Ok so Kiwi and I decided to go to my sister’s 15 year anniversary celebration at the family resort in Busch Garden. We woke up mad early and hit the road; we drove 3.5hours only to find that the event had been cancelled! I was livid to put it mildly! Apparently folks were complaining about the cost and the Ogunfiditimi family decided to have a private party instead but I did not get this memo because they had no idea I was coming, it was going to be a surprise….well I surprised the mess out of myself! Anywho Kiwi and I drove down to Potomac mills and went bananas then we headed to Owings Mills and chilled with Mo for the night! Talk about impromptu road trip.

Another road trip the following weekend to MD, Remi’s cousin who is 30 is celebrating her 10 year wedding anniversary! How sweet is that? So we rented a car and headed to MD which worked out for me since Mo organized this fall get-together for just the ladies, an opportunity to hang out and relax, pass the courvoisier, play games and male bash with an option to spend the night.
We headed out to MD and about 2 hours into our trip, we stopped at a rest area to take a leak, I was happily chatting on my phone as I headed out to the bathroom. I stuck my phone in my back pocked and pulled my pants down and PLOP! There goes my phone in the toilet! OMG! I stood there and contemplated picking it up and I finally did because I do not know anyone’s number off hand. I washed the phone and my hand and everyone laughed at me. I called E from Remi’s phone because he was coming to pick me up and my phone died after that! Funeral arrangements are in progress…I will keep you abreast.
So E picked me up at 1 am and we headed to B’more and Moji was pissed at me cause I didn’t call her and she was worried, but she was over it in like 3 seconds.
I spent the entire day Saturday cooking and painting. I promised Mo a painting for her new crib so we made a quick tip to Michaels and I went to work. The ladies started arriving at about 5 pm and the last group let at 4am! I was exhausted and we were going to JHB in the morning. Moji, Nneka, Shola and I headed out to church in the morning, everyone else went home.
I had lunch date and then I rushed home to get ready for Remi’s cousin’s thingy. Moji and Bimbo dropped me. I tell you it was bananas! There was mad food and it was very elegant and not your regular crowded MD gig. I couldn’t fully enjoy it because I was not feeling so hot. Moji and Bimbo ended up staying with me for a couple hours even though they were casually dressed.
A big Shout out to:
Elisa….baby girl my God bless you as you start each new day and my his grace and blessings overwhelm and embarrass you!!
Mo…I am so happy for you….get berra boo!!
E…good looking out baby!!
Carlito….thanks for everything…I am a complicated woman but I guess you know this now….thanks for your patience.
Dayo….May the Lord strengthen you!
Wally….thanks for all the love and support!
Omo Ibo…. I can’t stand yall MOFOS but thanks for opening my eyes.
To my concerned readers that raised hell in my absence…..love you right back!!!

Many more pictures to come but for now live life to the fullest!!

Under construction

2005-10-17T21:47:00.000-04:00

Dear all......

2005-09-19T16:16:00.000-04:00

I WONT BE BLOGGING FOR A WHILE, I HAVE SOME THINGS ON MY PLATE AND IT IS TAKING UP MOST OF MY FREE TIME. I WILL BE BACK THOUGH…FOR SHIZZLE. IN THE MEAN TIME, STAY BLESSED.

Bola Odegbami

hmmm

2005-09-18T19:11:00.000-04:00

Failure!

2005-09-15T19:51:00.000-04:00

OMG!! I am not a politically inclined person, infact I think news is boring and depressing. I rather not know...period. I am neither a democrat nor republican or any of those other BS parties. I found out about the Psuanami (SPELLING?) like 3 days after it happened and about New Orleans like a couple days afterwards (My heart goes out to the victims). I found Barbara Bushes bit on New Orlean hilarious....Like Oh hell na she didn't! Its funny cause I am painting a visual on how Bush and his hommies are putting heads together for damage control! HAHAHA I don't have any opinion on the war in Iraq, except that people should stop joing the damn army! if there is no one in the army then Bush and Sadam would have squashed there beef a long time ago.... street style. I get really irritated when I see celebrities going to African countries to deliver AIDS ridden victims and VH1 feels the need to broadcast, like they do not have an HIV wards in DC or in Newyork...hell in American hospitals! I just do not appreciate the negative portrayal of Africa! I know alot of people would like to bite my head off for some of the ignorant statements I have just made, so I beg please forgive me...I dont know better.
Anyway brings me to my point, my girlfriend sent me this email today, I would have deleted it but I was curious so I played along. It asked that I goole the word "failure" , I usually reserve my googling to digging up dirt on people and finding information, but I have never used it like this! Anywho I typed "failure" and guess who was first on the list? ..........................George Bush! Imagine that shit! LMAO!!! Are freaking kidding me? Our president? Okay so I am thinking this is some sort of a Hoax right?.... NOT!!! Its the official site for the white house!!! LMAO!!!
I bet those google boys, who happen to own blogger, and picasa and all the little things I enjoy on the web, had a good ol time with this one.
Hey can someone send Georgie a message that peewee called and he wants his brain back! LOLOLOL
Aight I am done being silly, I just thought I'd share those random norins with yall! HEHEHEHE

This weekend was bananas!!

2005-09-12T15:41:00.000-04:00

Last minute on Friday I decided to fly to MD, made more sense especially since gas prices were outrageous. So I bought my ticket at 3pm, Jim offered to take me to the Airport and I gladly accepted, I rushed home to pack and we dropped Omolayo off with Oyinade. She was so excited she started singing about going to college, she made me read her Cinderella on the way and insisted I made voices. She has a book list from school that I have to read her by the end of the school term…Lord have mercy!!
LA picked me up from the airport and we headed to Moji’s crib, she made ila-asepo and pounded yam for us. E.I came by to see me and we all watched Weed and were knocked out in record time.
***Sidetrack*** Has anyone seen Weed? It’s a series on Showtime about the widowed woman who deals weed to maintain her lifestyle now that her husband is gone…yo check it out, its funny! I was drawn to it because on episode 3 or 4 they played Yoruba music as the credits rolled, I mean Igile type Yoruba music, I was amused.
Anyway so I got up Saturday morning and took Moji’s car down to school to take my final exam for a class I took last semester, I aced that shit mehn!! I was supposed to have lunch with E.I and his mum but plans changed so I decided to hang out with Folusho instead. She made me rice and fried stew with like a zillion fried meat, I threw down!!
I left and headed back to B’more, Moji, Lola and I went to Seyi’s house, we chilled with her and viewed her wedding photo…kai its good to be married o..guiltless sex…..damn I cant wait! Seyi followed us back to moji’s crib and I made them fresh fish and rice…..All the damn rice I have been eating will soon grow on my head!
I insisted we should go out and I carried my bag and waited outside till those heifers came to join me ( they left me there for 30 minutes!) Seyi headed back home so it was just Bukk, Mo, LA and I. We went to some bar in Owings Mills and we had finger foods and one drink…I had a bone crusher, it was the bombdigiddy ! I flirted with Moji’s neighbor and invited him to come play with us! Mo had a fit…she made me swear off alcohol. I have zero tolerance for alcohol; I swear I get drunk off wine coolers! LMAO!!On Sunday Mo and I went to church, JH Baltimore, we left Lola at home to do some work she brought home since Friday. After church we went to Wande’s place she has a crib right by the Harbor. Moji Wande Nneka Bukky LA and I went to the Harbor for the afternoon, we walked down to the water taxis and took a ride to fells point we met some guys on the taxi that wanted to take picture with us (lord help us not to end up on the net with modified naked pictures), it was absolutely beautiful, its weird that I have lived in MD most of my life and I had only been to the Harbor once, on a fifth grade field trip! We had dinner at Du Claw, the food was superb! If you ever go there, try their Tilapia or Jambalaya or both! HHHHMMMMM! It was hella good. The chef thought we were cute so they gave us free food to go! We hung out outside by the water taking retarded pictures. We were all exhausted walking back to Wande’s crib. It was time for me to head out to the Airport. Damn I had fun!!

Harbor 05

2005-09-12T15:29:00.000-04:00

Karma is a sonofabitch I tell you mehn!

2005-09-12T12:34:00.000-04:00

When folks wrong you and you let go and let God, it is amazing how that shit comes back to bite them in the ass! I have decided to make retribution mehn to all the folks I have wronged. Please o, if I have offended you in anyway, shape or form…I APOLOGIZE!!! Infact call me up so I can apologize in person.
The slick shit that people do behind your back and even in your face (you know some heifer…. male and female lack couth) and think they’ve gotten away with…let me tell you! Always try not to do unto others what you don’t want done to your ass. And if you absolutely couldn’t help it and you hurt someone, make peace quick! The worst thing a person could do to you is to take you to the Big Man upstairs A.K.A GOD!
Okay so like a year or so ago, my livelihood was threatened and I was one bitter mofo but I had a lot of love and support from friends and family alike and I was able to pull through. I made a conscious effort to forgive and let God.
Let me just say God handled my business! I should be happy right? But far from it, I am devastated! I mean his payback is cruel and usual punishment that I am even feeling sorry for him. He is so fucked that he called MY shoulder to cry on…. Aint that a bitch! And despite myself, I actually listened and helped. I even called my mum up to help and she was like….” Se won sa si e ni? “ I quickly hung up before I saw the wrath of a woman mocked. Somehow I think he would have been better off if I dealt with his ass back then, at least my power is limited but in forgiving and moving on, I did him even more harm.
I guess it could just be a coincidence right? Naaaaaa, I think higher powers are driving the bus this time.So anywho, the gist of the story is…let go and let God. HE handles it in such a way that you show sympathy to the person that wronged you.

Week ending 9/4/05

2005-09-09T13:46:00.000-04:00

I saw Crash this weekend; we have this $1.50 movie theater around my way so my and my under-aged buddies went out. I love to hang out with these chicks (Dammy, Oyinade, Lolade, Lola, and Peju) because they make me feel 20 again except when they raid my closet then it’s like having 10 little sisters at once! I try keep up though but these chicks have mad stamina but they keep me laughing so it’s all good. We had dinner at some Chinese Restaurant called PF Chang.
About the crash movie…that shit stared racism in the face like WHOA! I mean I was ROTF when the little Chinese woman said "you step your blake too fast" and the Mexican girl was mocking her! And when the white dude was feeling that black chick up with her man right there, I was like Oh hell na!! It was a candid portrayal of racism AS IS…no sugar coating..walai! Go check it out! We went out to this club and for some weird reason the dance floor was now a seated area (my luck), so we sat around and ate Buffalo wings all night. We met the usual crowd there, Seyi, Dare, Dewunmi, Tuoyo and Dayo. They had even managed to drag Remi’s man up in the mix, and Tosin was in town as well so it turned into the same old shit different toilet.
Ayo got married on Saturday, Remi’s mum bought me Gale at the last minute because she did not see why I didn’t buy one, to be honest I had no reason except that I have been paying way to much money for Aso Ebi and I really don’t wear native so I felt I didn’t need to buy one, besides I have been somewhat anti- social so I wasn’t particularly interested. I will admit though that we looked hella good once we finally put it together.

If Denrele would just wake the hell up!

My Gale was from another planet!!

Since Monday was a holiday we hung out at my crib…..I cooked Jollof Rice and Fried Rice and bought some drinks…it was cool. I would have gone down to B’more to see my girl Mo except her heifer ass decided that she wanted to go to Canada! AS IF!!
I can’t complain though I had an absolutely fabulous weekend.