Saturday, June 04, 2005

These are my confessions......

PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT

This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the
"Agreement") is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2005,
by_______________________, between ____________and______________.

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND
PRINCIPLES:

1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.

2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.

3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have sh*t to talk about.

4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only s*x allowed.

5. No emotional discussions (I.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.

6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.

7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.

8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.

9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your damn business.

10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just f*ck buddies.

11. Calling out the wrong name during s*x is OK - don't be
offended.

12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.

13. No falling asleep right after s*x - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed, and go the f*ck home.

14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.

15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.

16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."

17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.

18. NO condoms, NO f*cking. Carry your ass home.

19. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.

20. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.

21. If going to a hotel room, we either split the cost, or alternate who's paying....you pay this time, I pay next.

22. Don't bring any of your friends with you, unless they're gonna join the party.


* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:

The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.

Participating Party
Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________

Participating Party
Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________

Posted by Queenb :: 9:49 AM :: 1 comments

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