Memoirs


Monday, January 30, 2006

My testimony

So the other day right, my manager comes to my desk and asks me if I want to take a smoke break with him because he wants to talk to me about something. I was scared mehn, you know my ass don’t do no work and I have been working from home more than coming to work. And let’s not even mention being late erryday and taking 2 hour lunches and shit. All these thoughts ran through my head and I was thinking about a possible next move…should I get the buyah! So he lit his cigarette and lit mine and took a long puff. I was peeping his abs because this white boy is cut like steak, you could tell he was a marine, there is just something about dem military bois mehn! Too bad he is married with 5 kids or it would be so on! I was distracted by his well tone physique for a minute then he said. “The VP of HR asked me to talk with you” Oh damn…HR loun loun, I don enter wahala! I was ready to deny any accusations brought against me and blame my lack of social skills on being an immigrant. He took another puff and continued “We have an immediate need for a Branch Administrator and your name came up, you have done impeccable work here in the last 5 months and we’d like to make you an offer if you are interested” Huh? Rewind! Hold the hell up! You mean I am being offered a job I did not apply for? No interview nada, with some damn benefits! I was excited beyond word and I calmly responded “finally I can get that much needed pap smear!” he smiled and said “so I take that as a yes? You’ll consider it?” Look at this hot piece of man candy patronizing me o! “I will definitely consider it, thanks for looking out!”
Long story short, they made me an offer, I accepted and today January 30, 2006 is my official first day! I have 3 weeks vacation! YAY!!!
“My testimony is filled with stories of grace and mercy made true and I will speak boldly because the way you loved me and this is my testimony” Bob Carlisle
I just want to thank God for his infinite mercies in my life. I am grateful because He always has my back and when situations come and I feel like whenever my cross is getting heavy, he comes through and releases me of my burdens. This year started out solid and its getting better by the day. And I owe it all to the Almighty!!!
Let it be known, if my Savior can do it for me, he will surely do it for you!

Posted by Queenb :: 3:10 PM :: 28 comments

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Friday, January 27, 2006

Hall of Shame!!!!

I was on IM the other day and I thought my girl Denrele was online, I decided to holla at her. The following is what ensued.

If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
are you at home
Rele says:
who theell are you
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
huh
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
your aunty
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
isla
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
sho ara e o
Rele says:
Sis
Rele says:
it is ayo
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
ahhh
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
I see
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
no vex o
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
I thought it was Islamiatu
Rele says:
I don't know you
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
its Bola Odegbami
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
the princess of egbaland
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
The queen b
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
the obirin asiko
Rele says:
Are you sure
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
Omo do ko do ko
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
Omo yan le yan le
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
Aja ma jebi
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
Erelu awon Okunrin
Rele says:
/who are you writing to?
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
Omotanwa
Rele says:
I still dont know you

Rele says:
Are you on drugs...what kind of names are those
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
I beg you are dry
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
where is denrele jo
Rele says:
Are you from Apata
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
what
Rele says:
yes you know my wife
Rele says:
I will get her for you
Rele says:
miss doko doko
Rele says:
hi there, bola
Rele says:
i dont know who u are really, i might have u on my addresss because of nigeria but i really dont recall u
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
this is is not funny
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
is this Denrele Sarunmi
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
I am calling you now
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
where is remi
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
I have been looking for her
Rele says:
nooooooooooooooooooooo
Rele says:
Rele Talabi now Aliu
Rele says:
huh
Rele says:
You dont know me but u think u do. I think u must have me confused with someone else. Maybe Remi Ladejobi might be able to help u
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
OMG
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
I am terribly sorry
Rele says:
its ok

Rele says:
you are a very funny girl, you went to Apata right? Remi's friend, miss popular
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
Gosh I am embarrassed
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
Remi Ladejobi has a cousin named denrele
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
I thought this was her
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
my apologies to your husband
Rele says:
thats cool

Rele says:
My husband says thanks for the laughs LOL
If I have offended you in any way..................get over it! says:
right


****************************************************************
I nearly died of shame! I was convinced it was my Denrele and she was just trying to be funny and at the time they had some chick named Ayo staying at their crib so I assumed it was her. I called Denrele after and she was dying laffing when I explained what happened! Shame! Shame! Shame!!! And all that crap about being Omo do ko do ko! OMG!! This is by far one of the most embarrassing moments I have had; this and the time Omolayo asked my nurse why her tummy was so big, is she pregnant? And the poor lady responded embarrassed as hell saying “no baby I am just fat!” Please share your most embarrassing moment…I could use a good laugh.

Posted by Queenb :: 10:00 AM :: 13 comments

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Thursday, January 26, 2006

Newest faces in blogville

Inspired by IGO (I read Igo’s blog this morning, besides the fact that I was grinning from ear to ear at this Omo Ibo’s flattery, I was appreciative of the way he put his thoughts together to make a comeback after a mini hiatus from bloggville. IGO…I beg no try am again o, or at least bribe me with chin chin next time you go to Naija!)
So as I wan yarn…we got some new faces in blogville that I’d like to share with yall four of my hommies. First there is Drama, interesting name for a chick who is not very dramaful in my opinion, just a laid back around the way girl that is always smiling, for a bit I was under the impression that she won the lottery. Moving on to my Dawg Lil ol me, I tell you this miha is deep! I can call her up when I am feeling not so fab and she cheers me up. She is candid and she barely speaks but when she does, you best believe there is nothing but deep truth. I love me some candid folks mehn as long as you do so respectfully and that is what Lil is all about. Lets not forget my baby girl Oadefuye, my adopted sis, I love to read her stuff cause she writes just like she talks, it takes a special, patient kinda somebory to keep up. I especially loved her piece on her late dad (I cried… literally), but baby girl gets on my damn nerves but her heart is so pure and she has this naivety/innocence about her that I am fond of. Lastly, Truth B shared, hmmm ol girl is a vixen on a mission to share the truth, undiluted, spilled it in raw form without bias. I can soooo appreciate that. So yall show them some love as they enter our hood.
I noticed they are starting slow as we can all reckon with, but in a matter of time and with practice trust me their creative mind will speaks for itself…. please be easy, they are VIRGINS! (Virgin blogger ni o, me I no know about that other one I beggi)
I remember my first blog entry back in 03 at Tblog (Absolute Hilary read the 03 Archives when you get a minute); I had plenty to say but didn’t know how to say it. I wrote a lot out of habit and made up crazy stories but I was a Virgin blogger. I was also technologically challenged, but mehn I found that the more I wrote the better I felt, it was free therapy and I became addicted, for 3 years straight I have be doing it and like fine wine, I will only get better ….HEHEHE but no disrespect to all the veteran bloggers, you laid the foundation and here we are following in your footsteps. Do you remember your first entry? How has blogging changed you? How have folks responded to you?

Posted by Queenb :: 9:34 AM :: 5 comments

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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I've got the blues

I’ve got the blues! I’ve got it real bad! Everywhere I look I see a cute ass baby. Seyi and IBK just gave birth to the most beautiful baby ever; I mean he is sssssooooo cute. I don’t care what anyone says babies are ugly MOFOs I mean when they are brand new 0-1 month, they look like little gremlins and their body hasn’t really taken form, hell they are ugly! When Molly was born (damn I wish I had a picture online) she looked like a little monster covered with hair, her hairline and eyebrow were one entity and despite my fervent prayer to God that she would not have her father’s nose, there it was like a big chunk of play dough dominating her entire face! So anyway, I don’t do the oooohhh and the ahhhh for new borns, na not me but Seyi and IBKs baby is by far the most beautiful newborn I have ever seen!
Then there the long list of friends that are with child; Funmi, Shola, Vicky, Seun, even Ayo and Julie are all expecting their new babies any day now! I don tire o! So it got me thinking, maybe I should just have one, I mean my ass is getting old na, shu 28 this year, why the hell not? So I spoke with Yetti about it last night and she said we should give it another 2 weeks and then we’ll review, if I still feel the same way, perhaps I should go with it. LA said I have lost my damn mind and then she hung up on me…that heifer! Remi did not even pick up my call, as if she knew what I was bout to talk about. And Mo, well Mo is with me either way but she said I should think it through sha and think it through I did so tay I dreamt about it…..no I had a freaking nightmare!
It was kinda like a documentary taking me through the bittersweet Journey of motherhood.

  1. The pregnancy ordeal, throwing up, spitting, the nausea, gaining all that extra weight.
  2. Possible long labor (though I didn’t go through that with O)
  3. The scar my C-section left me that rid me of any chance of ever wearing midriff or bikini.
  4. The 40% income you loose for 6 weeks of playing new mummy
  5. My teetries loosing there o so sexy don’t need a bra shape
  6. The extra fat that has taken permanent residence on what used to be my ass
  7. The permanent pot belly that gives me figure 88 instead of just 8
  8. Staying up ALLL night to feed the hungry monster every 2 hours max.
  9. Lack of sleep from diaper changes
  10. OH those damn diapers, smells like hell (never been but I am sure that’s how it smells) how could such a tiny creature release such funk?!
  11. Looking like an asswipe pushing stroller all over the damn place or those carrier thingy…arrrrggghhh (plus they don’t have one the goes with your outfit!)
  12. Okay try looking cute carry a screaming baby in your arms that has just barfed all over you TM shirt (O hell to the NO)
  13. Buying formular
  14. Buying Diaper
  15. Paying $150 every week for five years in daycare fees (Omo that is $39,000)
  16. Buying a whole new wardrobe every 2 months because the suckers grow like they are on steroids!
  17. Try finding a reliable sitter for free when you want to go out!
  18. Getting up to fix dinner, breakfast and lunch even when you are not hungry
  19. Buckling those damn car seats!
  20. Reading those senseless books, I read one the other day where the girl turned stripes because she wouldn’t eat her peas! And them damned lullaby’s…so what if Jack and Jill fell down the damn hill…shu call Geico then! Don’t friggin write a song about it!

Needless to say the baby blue went off into the night. Yetti, forget about the two weeks, I am done thinking! I still want one but I will wait until I get married so the dude can share in my misery, expecially that 39K omo we are splitting that nonsense fitty-fitty!

Don’t get it twisted being a mother is very rewarding, I mean the first time your child says mama, the way your eyes well up when she says something smart and then there is the huge tax returns amongst other perks but that’s another blog for another day!


Posted by Queenb :: 10:16 AM :: 12 comments

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Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Headlines from the year 2034

* Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the 7th largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California.
* White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
* Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
* Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
* Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
* Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in Bushra; the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon).
* Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
* France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
* Castro finally dies at age 115; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
* George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
* Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
* Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
* Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
* Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
* Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
* Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
* New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
* Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
* Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.
* IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
* Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
****Extra****
*Nigerian President, Bola Odegbami AKA QueenB, executes all men found cheating!


ROTFLMAO!! Someone emailed this to me!

Posted by Queenb :: 3:16 AM :: 8 comments

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Monday, January 23, 2006

Happy Birthday Dayo!


My boy Dayo is 30 today! Let him tell it though and he'll say 28! To be honest I dont know how old Dayo is, he changes his story everyday. Anywho may God bless you and meet you at your point of need always. You will be fishers of men. Joy and favor shall be your portion. You will not be put to shame but men shall see the glory of God upon your life...Amen. Dayo is very down to earth and sincere and he cracks me up, I am glad we are friends. He is also a fine boy, no pimples no wrinkles with a dimple so holla at me if you want his digits. have a fabulous day papi!!!

Posted by Queenb :: 9:49 AM :: 6 comments

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Thursday, January 19, 2006

Stankonia

This bama walked into the church the other day and I swear even the holy spirit left the building. I mean damn! He was reeking of Angel, Remi and I looked at each other as he planted himself in the seat in front of us. An instant migraine broke out and I had to move my seat! I mean why na? Everybody knows how strong Angel is and if you do more than a couple dabs you start smelling like you took a swim in it. I doubt the brother knew what the deal was because he was smiling at all the chicks like he’d just won the lottery. My girl Dupe has the meanest perfume collection ever, I have like four bottles I fapped from her and she is still well stocked!
So it got me thinking about a topic I posted in a forum a while back.
What is your favorite perfume.....you know that one fragrance you wear that turns every head in a room when you walk in! (not the one you bathe in o I beg) And which one do you find completely nauseating? Well, mine is Dolce and Gabbana....Light Blue. Most nauseating for me is....Red Door.


Posted by Queenb :: 11:53 AM :: 14 comments

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Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Invasion of space

One of my guy friends wanted to get a woman’s point of view as to why women become territorial as soon as you show interest in them. He has been “talking” to this chick for about 6 weeks now and she is starting to get on his nerves. They haven’t slept together and he like her a lot, conversation is great and all and he sincerely enjoys her company but within the first two weeks of seeing each other, she was buying him boxers and cologne. And now whenever she stays over she leaves something behind. First it was her toothbrush, then nightgown and undies, she even washed one bra and hung it in his bathroom and left! She has obtained a drawer to keep her stuff and her body splash and perfume are sitting on the bathroom sink like they belong there. He was so vexed I could not help but laugh at his frustration "Bola she picks up my phone!" Buhahahah; I mean damn…that is somewhat petty innit? But ol girl sef, that one is forward on ya part jo. Reminds me of one time I looked at my man's phone cause it was getting on my nerves to switch it of ni o and I found that some chick had emailed him a semi-nude picture! Damn I should have let that sucka ring! but thats another gist for another day!
I told my friend to chilax and if he plans to have a long term gig with ol girl then maybe he should talk to her about it. He reminded me how sensitive women can be…true that. I don’t know bout yall but I don’t want anyone’s stuff in my crib, be it my man or a girlfriend, I always pack all their shit and take it to them “You forgot these” I don’t know why I just do. I don’t think I am guilty of **territorizing** shu….I want all ma shit with me when I leave for fear some other heifer may come along and dig my shit! Hehehe. Maybe it’s unconscious? So ladies, why is that? Why do we mark our territory so early in the game? Fellas why does it irk you so much? Is he tripping? or is this anothe episode of 'he just not that into you'?

Posted by Queenb :: 9:50 AM :: 16 comments

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Monday, January 16, 2006

Monday Mumbling

Since today is a holiday, I sorta didn't work today.....I had major cramps, the kind from hell! Despite my pain, I did Dayo's hair.....besides the fact that she is my girl, she bribed me with some chinese from around ma way...hehehehe, me and food will never part...lafidada.
Aight so in the spirit of Dr. King and all, I talked with dude about our situation...he sounded concerned...mission accomplished. I swear women are drama queens...we know how to blow errything the hell up. Any who....I am having a huge head ache, maybe too much noise this weekend, between the hair gallery digging in my skull like they were looking for gold and the rucus from playng taboo at the Bansidon's crib...I am not sure what to blame for my migrane!

A big shout out to my babygirl Oyinade! Happy Birthday Boo...you know I lu you right?Imma have to put a picture up for you boo cause you too deserve a spread in the Memoirs(HEHE)....the little things you do make me happy to be around you and you discovered the way to my heart...through Princess O...thanks ma! Smoochies!! (January 14)
No.... I am not going to forget Thelma...all you Capricorns...mehn! Happy bithday Missy...We been bestest friends for about 13 years and counting...I pray your heart desires come to past mehn! I miss you sssssssssssssooooooooo much!!!! (January15)

Hey isnt it Tope Awoye's birthday as well? Hmm I cant remember o! well if it is...aseyi samodun o! I got yelled at this weekend, mehn!! me and my OOPPS reputation! And I wasnt even guilty this time!

3 silly things the make me very angry **rather random**

1. Don't call me Iya Molayo...Iya Molly or any of their cousins.....that lady in church got about one more Iya molly before I go Bella Mafia on her!

2. Don't use my towel or my spongue! I dont care if we are married with children! hell I don't care if you are my child.....DO NOT use my towel or spongue!!

3. Don't let your feet touch any part of my body...(Molayo this one is for you!) I hate feet!!!

Okay maybe I gajustatadrishoes......

Posted by Queenb :: 8:41 PM :: 7 comments

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Sunday, January 15, 2006

True love?

Hey everyone...on a lighter note, this thing will help you determine who your true crush is...hell it work for me and a couple other folks so come on there gve it a try..hey...you've gat nada to loose right?

http://www.crushcalculator.com/content/love/364931263

Posted by Queenb :: 1:20 AM :: 0 comments

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Friday, January 13, 2006

Stop stealing ma shit!!

Okay…I know it should not be this serious and no one is earning salary for this blogging crap, hell it’s a hobby, an avenue for releasing stress and letting people into your world. Keyword here is YOUR. It has come to my attention that people lack originality, they copy your style, your words and some just steal a whole fucking paragraph and claim it as their own. da hell? I mean come the fuck on? If you have nothing to write about give it some damn rest, the way to attract readers and get your counter up is not by IMITATING but rather ORIGINATING….do something different….hell be yourself!. Consciously or unconsciously it is human nature to seek attention, I will be the first to admit I will say anything just to get the shock factor on people's faces!
Back at my old blog Blogspot, you were rated on the amount of folks that hit your blog and you even get some cheese from ads placed on your blog. There was this dude there, I helped him get started, introduced him to the bloggy blog world, he did me proud, he always had my attention, I would be on his page first thing in the morning just to see what was up, before I knew it he was number one and I was his biggest fan. Come to find out he “borrowed” some of his material from other writers and was caught with his pants down! Well... he couldn’t be prosecuted or anything but mehn he got so much negative feedback he closed shop….never to resurface in blogville again! Moral of the story….do your own thing, stop biting off others, it starts with a line and before you know it you are rewriting their stories and making it look like you have some sense, only a matter of time before you get caught. The other day I was talking to a friends and she told me about the shameless attempt of some bold heifers to steal her job. It was funny to me because folks need to realize the only thing that sets you apart from the rest is your INDIVIDUALITY and ability to be UNIQUE!
**Side track** this other beesh was laughing at me when I got my braids done…said it was too tight and cost too much money…I ignored her monkey ass….please tell me why said beesh called me the other day to get the number to the braid gallery where I got my do did…..LMAO!!!
If you absolutely must lift something from someone…give them the props they deserve and give credit where due.
For all you culprits, consider this a warning and seize and desist from stealing ma shit! Next time it’s gonna be Ugly, Imma name names and post links! Like my girl Yetti would say….WOOOSAAA and there you have it!

Posted by Queenb :: 12:44 PM :: 16 comments

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Thursday, January 12, 2006

Money couldn't buy this....

As amazing as my life seems, I am really not happy, I have a husband who adores me. I am a partner in one of the most prestigious law firms and my man is an Investment Banker at Goldman Sachs together we make a quarter million annually. We live in the same estate as Sidney Sheldon and we drive the most luxurious cars, you name it we’ve got it.
My husband and I met about 6 years ago at fundraiser and it was love at first sight, his body was immaculate and his smile could have been a poster board for a Colgate ad. I was there with a colleague of mine and we drooled as he shook hands with the elites of Santa Barbara, I was certain he was an actor, because he had a certain aura the Denzel could not withstand. He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw me; it was almost like he’d seen a ghost and he composed himself, aware that we’d become disturbed at his sudden stare. “Olarotimi Manuel” he offered in the most arousing voice I have heard to date. I felt my knees buckle before me as he reached for my perfectly manicured hand. “Ranti Balogun, and this is my friend Bola Williams” I responded as he took my hand to his perfect succulent lips. We chatted the entire evening and Bola had spotted and old boyfriend so Rotimi and I were alone. We exchanged cards at the evenings end and I felt really warm all the way home even though it was 50 degrees.
By the time I got to my office the next morning, flowers had been delivered. 2 dozens long stemmed white orchids with a card attached that read “I see my future in you” I was flushed, I though of calling him to say thank you but I had a 9’oclock meeting that was mandatory, “I will call after that” I thought. I was absent minded at the meeting, I held his business card and I could smell his scent, the nostalgic feelings overwhelmed me as I replayed our entire evening scene by scene like it was some hallmark movie. After three long hours of endless ranting, the meeting was adjourned and I rushed to my office to call my prince charming. My secretary, Allison met me at the door and said “ you have 12 messages Miss Balogun…from the same person…some Mr. Manuel!” I could tell she was irritated; poor heifer probably hadn’t been laid in ages.
I sat at my desk and read each of my messages…I miss you, call me; you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen…call me; Are you free for dinner? Call me; I am really glad we met…call me; Its Rotimi…Call me. I was interrupted by my phone it was Allison, “Miss Balogun, its Mr. Manuel on line one…. again!”, “Thanks Allison!” I straightened my hair and fixed my collar (like he could see me over the phone). “Well, well aren’t you persistent” I said jokingly and he laughed and said “only when my eye is on the prize”. The truth is, if this was any other man, I would have considered him a stalker and had my girl Bola Williams draw up a restraining order with a quickness but I liked this one, in fact…I really, really liked this one! We were together every single night for the next 3 months, I wanted to take it slow but he always shock the sense out of me with his sweetness. There were flowers everywhere, he wrote me little notes and sent me email, and I had to block him from my messenger so he wouldn’t distract me at work. It was bit overwhelming but in a feel good way. He was so romantic, he counted the dates we went on and entered every detail in his palm. I met his family, very nice folks they told me stories of how he’d always been good with money, never spending a cent and always saving for a rainy day, its no wonder he became a banker helping people invest their money. My friends adored him, he was polite and he always made sure everyone around him was having a blast and then there was that winning smile…what did I ever do to deserve this great man. On our 4th month anniversary or so he called it, he prepared this elaborate meal of Egusi and Eba and even made me pepper soup for dessert. Damn, this is way too good to be true! The man even cooks!!!
After dinner we made love for the first time…or tried to at least. He was having problems keeping his hard on. I was frustrated, I had been waiting for this piece of man candy to put it on me all this time and he just could keep it up! He apologized and told me we’d try again another time.
We were successful the next time around and it wasn’t the best but at least I got some…I was starting to be cranky like Allison from sexual tension. On that night he proposed to me, with a 3.5 karat yellow solitaire diamond. How could I refuse? I had fallen in love; he was perfect, well almost.... we could work on the sex right? Amazing sex took work and in depth knowledge of one another’s body and needs, I had learnt that in my Sexual Awareness class.
We had a huge wedding and invited everyone we knew and it was beautiful…the most amazing day in my life! I was happy but my happiness was short lived. We continued to have tremendous difficulty in bed and sex became more of a task rather that the art it ought to be. I suggested we see a doctor but my sweet husband was far to embarrassed to do that. I managed to convince him after about a year of abstinence by force. I felt my heart drop as the doctor calmly informed us that my Olarotimi had ED, Erectile Dysfunction. So here I am 6 years of marriage and I can count on my hands how many times we’ve had sex. We have tried all sorts of medication, tests and study, money is not a factor, but I am an unhappy woman, who would have thought sex would be the determinant of my happiness.

Not to poke fun at the men with this problem, rather to educate them that early detection makes ED easier to treat, so where your livelihood is concerned, I beg leave the ego and pride out of it and see a doctor. A lot of men suffer from ED; if detected early, successful treatment of ED has been demonstrated to improve intimacy and satisfaction, improve sexual aspects of quality of life as well as overall quality of life.

Posted by Queenb :: 11:29 PM :: 9 comments

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Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Happy Birthday Dare!!!

As you get older, I pray that all your heart desire come to pass according to God's will.
I am glad we are still friends despite all the up and downs (mostly downs…LOL)
You are the most generous man I have ever known and I pray your generosity is returned in ten folds. I thank you for EVERYTHING, the good, the bad and the ugly. Remember that the sky is your limit and don’t leave all your potentials untapped. May God be with you today and always!!

Posted by Queenb :: 10:07 AM :: 7 comments

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Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Happy Birthday Egin Mojisola

Today is my dearest Mo’s birthday, My Ace, My sister, My friend. As I celebrate this great day with you, I pray that God’s abundance overwhelms you and I pray you prosper beyond your imagination. I pray that happiness becomes your theme song and good health be your favorite verse. I pray for a man worthy of you, one that will cherish you, respect you and most of all love you unconditionally. I take this opportunity to celebrate our friendship, I am truly blessed to be your friend and I will always love you. Have a wonderful day Mamasita and have fun at the spa this weekend, I wish I could be there!

So please, everyone, take a moment to send a shout out to one of my best friends!!


Posted by Queenb :: 10:50 AM :: 15 comments

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Monday, January 09, 2006

Don't worry...be happy!!!

I have been on cloud 9 for a while now, in fact, it will take a whole lot of bull to dampen my spirit. 2006 has stayed true to its promise of tender mercies. Shit don’t even bother me anymore, I don’t trip about the kinda shit that used to get me all worked up. I am keeping an open mind and I think I am in love…..well maybe in lust. My girl Mo says she doubts I fall in love; I just have a huge heart and love the attention that comes with a man! Hmmm dunno but we’ll see. I caught myself giving one of my girlfriend relationship advice. I told her that I know enough to guide her in the right path considering I have played every kind of fool there is. But of course she won’t listen to me, hell if she did we’d have a problem. Please tell me ladies, why is it that we seek advise from our friends yet we do what the hell we want to anyway. 9 out of 10 , the complete opposite of what our hommies advise? Well, there are a lot of haters so its hard to decipher I guess, hmm hell even the folks that you know love the hell out of you and won't watch you stray become a hater once they disagree with your idea of love. Anyhow, I know how that story ends!

About 5 years ago, one of my very close guy friend and I made a pact to marry each other if either one of us is still single by the time I turn 28, why did dude call me up this weekend, to remind me that I will be 28 in eight months! Agbaya buruku! Its funny cause he has been trying to holler since before I met Princess O’s dad and even after O was born he’d laugh at our relationship like it was the funniest joke, well he was right about that one. ROTFLMAO!!! I was like the hell…so you have been counting the days huh?? Made me realize my ass is old mehn!! We had a great conversation and he told me he hasn’t really made the marriage move because he has seen how folks turn out. He said once women get married they loose the Hmmmph factor and they start looking married, dressing tore up, not getting their do did, gaining mad weight and then when they have kids, it over! It seems like the children are the only things couples have in common. Bye Bye ladies night and cleavage revealing tops and its hello baby shower, naming ceremony and Iro and buba! Is that true? Do we really give up on ourselves when we get in a long-term relationship such as marriage? I vowed that wouldn’t be me and he was like “yeah right! that’s what they all say". Well since two of my dearest friends are getting married this year, I made the heifers promise, to uphold DIVADOM, don’t change, limit the trad wear to Owambe’s and occasional church gear, you know for the bad wardrobe days. I made them promise to still be fun and hang out and they promised to do so…I guess only time will tell.

Back to my blissful state, I swear, I can’t get over myself….I am extremely happy! I have been told I even have a glow…hehehe BLACK WOMAN BLUSHING!!!! Like I told my cyber pal last week, only you can decide what effect folks have on you, it’s a shame to give anyone that much power really…don’t you agree? So for me and mine 2006 is gonna be all smiles….come what may!


Posted by Queenb :: 10:13 AM :: 13 comments

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Wednesday, January 04, 2006

New Years Day

I had mad fun this New Year day. I went to church to start it off right, I released all my anger and dissapointment, malice and what not to go with 2005. It is a new year a new time. If we were beefing in 05...it done, I am sawry...aight?. I am turning a new leaf. Only when you let go of your baggages can good things come to you.
Anyhow. I woke up early on New Years day to cook for Dayo and Tuoyo's house warming/New Year party. I went to church with Princess O in tow. She insisted that we get there on time! That little girl has more sense than me sometimes! We were still late, though I really tried. Anywho service was Bunz we hugged each other and all the mushy crap.....I am not very affectionate if you cant tell. We headed to Dayo's house and the party began. Erybody was up in that micky flick, hell I know half of them werent invited but they came anyway...hmmm. There was tons to eat and drink and make merry. We dance or for some of us tried to dance, I cannot dance for crap! Princess O gets her rythmless nation from me! I am stiff as a brick....well at least were dancing is concerned LOL. Congratulations once again T and D may God be with you always!!

View our pictures on the link attached.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLandingSignin.jsp?Uc=198lat5i.bna63d1e&Uy=94du86&Upost_signin=Slideshow.jsp%3Fmode%3Dfromshare&Ux=0

Posted by Queenb :: 2:57 PM :: 2 comments

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Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Adedayo Temitope Ashiru-Awani...may God continue to butter your bread....Amen!!!

Posted by Queenb :: 5:12 PM :: 2 comments

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A New Forum

So today, I discoved a new Forum...http://p2.forumforfree.com/africanmagazine.html its on the Ariztos website. Wale is doing big things o..mad props....he sha refused to hire me to write for him but its all good...anyhow, I am loving it o...found me a new hobby be that, I remember the days of LVIPLIST courtesy Fash....mehn we had mad fun! I met some of the most fab people on there mehn...My ACE Lolipinpin, now one of my closeset friends, Yetti...the mad talented diva that keeps me rolling on IM...girl you crazy, Ronke...jejebaby, Cyber-pal...my crush, Paulo...my other crush, Baba Degas....and Easy Peezy dude was something else...Oh lest I forget Candy AKA Odaiche.......mehn those were the days o!

So now a fresh one...so far I like what I see, it very orgarnized and shit so it's on!

Posted by Queenb :: 12:40 PM :: 2 comments

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Sunday, January 01, 2006

Sinful Pleasures

Mama is hot no doubt. I am not talking Oprah Winfrey hot, you know in a mummy kinda way, na, I am talking Lisa Ray kinda hot, the kinda hot that makes all your male friends spend extra time in the kitchen with her and all your girlfriend seek fashion advice and beauty tips from her. Hell at 45 her boobs still stands at attention and her waist is as small as it was 26 years ago, no evidence of the three kids she bore, the natural way no less. I have always had great admiration for her, don’t know if I could do what she did, raised 3 kids on her own without a man, you see our dad left when my youngest brother was born, never got the full gist but I think it had something to do with my brother’s birth, cause Mama was not even back from the hospital when daddy made his leave. I was four and my brother Temitope was 2, but you would never know daddy wasn’t there, Mama was so stubborn she refuses the state mandated child support she was awarded, she said she could do it on her own… I never understood that, neither did I understand why dad was so bitter. I tried to reach out to him a few times but he never warmed up to me, oh well, I guess some dudes were just born dead beats. It broke my heart because I would often wake up from Mama’s sob and I would hold her till she fell asleep, she wouldn't know why she was crying but it never failed, 3 to 4 nights a week since I was 4 years old. I vowed that that would not be me, I am going to find me a man, who will love me unconditionally and would never leave me and our kids alone and cause me to cry myself to sleep each night, and if I couldn’t find such a man, I would die alone cause lord knows I’d rather be alone, than be unhappy.
I am 26 now and I have been dating this guy since High School, off and on of course because I had decided that men were just some unstable creatures and I was not going to put my most sacred eggs in just one basket, so I dated other men, different race, different culture, in search of that Prince I was sure God had prepared for me. Charles was patient though, he told me our first year together that I would be his wife, he watched me with love as I tested the waters and when I came back empty handed, he was always right there. It took us 10 years to get here but I am convinced he was sent down from heaven to be my husband. News of our engagement sent Mama into a depression spell, I am sure she is happy for me, this is what she’d always wanted…. right? We’d talked about this and I have adhered to the plan exactly as she prayed…. what is the problem? I was mad, not at my sweet unselfish mum that has sacrificed her entire life for my brothers and I but at that man who fertilized her eggs and then abandoned them, the coward that did not care enough to fight…to stick it out! I had had it…. tomorrow, I will find this man and I will ask him questions and I will not leave until I have answers.

My answers were not what I expected. He welcomed me with open arms, offered me a drink and some food he had cooked himself he assured. I was not there to eat, I told him coldly. “I am not going to beat around the bush” I prepared him, “Why’d you leave us? It wasn’t for another woman because you still haven’t married. You have no other children so its not that you are pre-occupied, what is it? What did we ever do to you daddy?” I cried desperately. I could tell he was fighting back the tears and after an uncomfortable silence he said “Ifedapo my dear, you are much older now so I guess the time is right. I do have another child or maybe I should say did. His name is Obatayo, he is much older than you about 40 years old now exactly, I had him when I was 17, his mother died while giving birth to him and I thought I could never love again until I met your mother. I was much older than her but in those days it was all right. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on and wanted her to be my wife. I vowed to take care of her till my dying day and we were quickly married. She was a good wife but an even better step mum to Oba despite their closeness in age. We quickly had you and your brother one year apart. Life was blissful to say the least we would travel abroad on vacations and throw feasts on holidays. It was important to your mum that she stayed at home because you guys were so young and needed your mum. The arrangement was fine with me because I ran businesses and they were all at their peak. My world shattered shortly after your brother was born, the doctors said he was anemic, he needed blood and your mum had lost so much during her long labor. To further complicate matters, he was diagnosed with Sickle Cell disease. I told the doctors this was impossible considering I am AA and your mum is AS, worst case scenario, he should only have a trait, the doctors insisted that the tests were accurate, so your mum and I were tested. The test revealed that I was not Enitan’s biological father” at this point my father was pale; a familiar look of disappointment was on his face. Tears were pouring from his eyes, I couldn’t help it, I wailed as I sat frozen pinching into my own skin! This must be a joke or better yet a nightmare; any minute now someone will wake me…right? We sat quietly for a few minutes then he continued, “I looked at your mum and the doctor left us, all the blood drained from her face, she was as white as a ghost! ‘Honey, is it true? Tell me who? Why? How? When?’ I could not stop the questions, she seem so happy, barely left the house, never said or did anything that would cause me to suspect she was unfaithful. I waited for a response and rage took over me and I strangled her, I strangled her with the intention to kill her. I would kill her as she had just killed me, she fought for her life but I held her down and shouted ‘WHO? WHO? WHO?’ I release her and she whispered with her dying breath ‘Oba..Oba….Obatayo and then she passed out. I confronted Obatayo because I was sure I had misunderstood. He confirmed it, told me they had fallen in love since the day she moved in with us. He begged me for forgiveness but how do you even begin to forgive that?” I was frozen with shock, with anger, with disgust, at this point I was no longer crying, I felt numb “My dear there is more” my father continued “Obatayo is your father and Temitope's father as well”………To be continued

Posted by Queenb :: 10:24 PM :: 11 comments

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2006...My year of Testimonies

Happy New Year to you all in blogville. In this New Year.... May God be the driver of your bus. I pray all your heart desires come to pass according to His will. May everything you touch prosper. May His healing hand be upon your soul. May He meet you at your point of need and embarrass you with his favors. May your testimonies be filled with good news and miracles...Amen!!

Y.T.
QueenB

Posted by Queenb :: 4:38 AM :: 6 comments

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Judge NOT

My mouth fell open wide, as I entered Heaven's door,
Not by the beauty of it all, nor
by the lights or its decor.

But it was the MOFOS in Heaven
who made me sputter and gasp--
the thieves, the liars, the sinners,
the alcoholics, the trash

There stood the kid from seventh grade
who called me Shaka Zulu.
Next to him was my old neighbor
who never said anything nice.

Hell to the Na...that heifer friend of mine,
who slept with my man.
I know that aint My baby daddy! I could have sworn he
was rotting away in hell, but nooooo he
was sitting pretty ! on cloud nine,
looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, "What's the deal?
I would love to hear Your take
How'd all these sinners get up here?
God must've made a mistake.

And why's everyone so quiet,
so somber? Give me a clue."

"Hush, Omobolanle," said He "They're all in shock.
No one thought they'd see you here."

Judge NOT.

Posted by Queenb :: 4:30 AM :: 0 comments

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