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Monday, February 28, 2005Do you believe in love?
Do you believe that unconditional love cannot be compromised? I do, but I think a lot of folks have given up on love and it makes me sad. Our generation has chosen to settle for the next best thing. We love for different reasons but true love really does exist. Irv Gotti said “ you are allowed 3 great love in your life” I am totally feeling him on that…but how do you know when you’ve exhausted your share?
Why is it that some get it right on the first try, but most never find it at all?
Is it possible to love someone you’ve never met? You know… like a cyberpal. Or can you fall in love at the very first sight? Maybe it will take a friendship that evolves into love, just so you don’t recognize it right away.
When love is not reciprocated does that count against you or against the one you love? I think you are allowed to love as many times as you can but only get 3 chances to be loved in return. It is now up to you to hold on to one of those 3 loves and just incase you miss it the first two times…. you get one more chance!
So what happens if you let it pass you by? Well then you live a life without love, a life of reason, you miss out on the rush and the butterflies and the skipping heartbeats and the lack of sleep when you haven’t seen your love and the sudden loss of appetite from thinking about your love. You miss out on all the good things love can bring.
How then do you recognize love? I am not perfectly sure but for me it’s when;
· You can stand him snoring all night…music to your ears
· You watch him do the #2
· You kiss him first thing in the morning
· You can fart without discomfort and find it hysterical
· You can pick your nose and roll it…. then show him
· You pick his nose and remove wax from his ears
· You wear your ‘laundry day’ underwear when his around
· You can tell him that last round was not so good
· You can cry when his around
· You let him watch you change your pad/tampon
· You wear his shirt to bed when he isn’t there
· Your heart skips a beat when his name pops up on your CID
· You laugh out loud when you think of a personal moment you shared
· Your face lights up when he walks into a room
· No matter how bad your day has been, he can make you smile
I could go on for days but its different for everyone, and if dude is comfortable with half of these things…. chances are he loves you too!
I know, I know…I am such a hopeless romantic!
I work as a Junior Partner at one of the most prestigious law firms in Los Angeles and my sweetheart works for in a group home for vulnerable adults as a Counselor. He recently proposed after we had been dating for 3 years, but I have my doubt about being married to a man that makes 1/4 of my salary. When we started dating I was fresh out of college working as legal aid for the same firm so it was not an issue, I had high hopes for us both, I was certain he would finish school and find a better job, but he insisted college was not for him. He dropped out in his junior year and I have not been able to convince him to go back. He loved his job and he insisted money was not everything. I hoped watching me go through law school and getting promoted to Junior Partner would encourage him make something more meaningful of himself, but he is always proud of my achievements and genuinely happy for me, for us! He always insists on paying for meals when we are out and buys me extravagant gifts that he can barely afford. It took him 2 years to save for my 2-karat engagement ring! I would have settled for a less expensive ring or met him half way but he just wouldn't have it. He insists on paying for everything, even when he can't afford it, he'll have us put it off till his next payday.
I am embarrassed to take him out with me to company events or cocktail parties with my friends for fear that they may ask him what he does! He always leaves them baffled when he announces proudly that he's a Counselor; from the look on his face you would think he was a Doctor! I love that he doesn't have a complex; maybe I am the one with the problem! He is just as knowledgeable as many of my educated male friends, so why do I see him as inferior in their mix? At my pace and with my determination, I can only excel further, but I am afraid to because of my man.
I have not told my parents about the proposal, I can just imagine their reaction and my man wants us to tell them together! My father is a professor at Harvard Law School and my mother is Superintendent of the Massachusetts School District. They are both aware of our relationship but they think I am going through a phase.
I love him so much and I know he loves me too, but we are financially incompatible!
We plan to have two children and I am afraid that we will not be able to afford them a decent education, or any of the luxuries I was afforded growing up. I know money is not everything but….can he provide for us?
A lot of Nigerian women shy away from openly discussing masturbation, so I am led to believe they don?t (masturbate). Which would explain why they do not experience orgasms.
I have a 30 years old friend who is married with children and has never had an orgasm, I think that is absolutely ridiculous!
In order for a man to love you, you must love yourself, get to know your body, know what it takes to get you there. Only when you are fully aware of your spots can you direct a man to please you. Some men don?t need directions, they watch your reaction to certain touches and some just go with the universally effective techniques; kissing on your neck, nibbling your ear, clawing your back etc?but those are for mediocre lovers! It takes a bit more to be an unforgettable lover!
You know, it is not the actual act performed on a guy that excites him, a man is most excited about your reaction to his actions! So if you can teach him to touch you where you like to be touched, you can both have a more fulfilling sex life. In order for you to achieve this however, you?ve got to get to know you! A lot of women use dildos and other sexual toys to discover themselves, which I think is a great idea if you plan to be alone forever! The reality of it is that these toys are only a quick fix, the movements are at ridiculous pace that no human being is able to achieve and once your body is tuned to this pace, responding to a real man will be tough.
Bottom line....get to know YOU in an intimate way...you don't have to tell anyone...just do it for you.
My thing is if all these women are out there and are not having orgasms during sex?Why the hell are they doing it?
I met this man a little while ago six months to be exact, at a company event. We both work in the medical fields and we had an annual meeting. We were introduced and we spent the greater part of the evening engrossed in deep conversation. It was obvious there was chemistry between us. He was about 30 years old, 6 ft tall, medium built with very seductive features. I fell in love instantly but I couldn't quite read him, this further intrigued me because I usually know when a man is into me. I was cautious about flashing green lights so I maintained a steady yellow.
Our friendship grew as we began seeing more and more of each other and sharing thoughts about what our ideal partner would be, we would call each other day and night and share the most intimate secrets, it was as if I found a soul mate. I found that we were completely ourselves when we were together and there was no form of pretence.
I believed in love and I believed in soul mates and I also believed in the myth that there is just one partner created for each being, faith brings you to meet that person but I believe it is then left to you to ensure you don't miss out on the opportunity. This has always been my explanation or justification for my past failed relationships and it was enough to comfort me.
We would take turns sleeping over each other's homes without any form of physical intimacy, our conversation or even silence was completely fulfilling!
It can't get any better than this I thought, but it did! It got better with each passing moment! His friends and mine were envious of the time we share together and swore we were a couple; we would look at them and then at each other and laugh it off like it their notions were absurd. We enjoyed all of the same things but mostly we enjoyed being with each other. This went on for six months and I started getting greedy! I wanted him emotionally but mostly physically! I felt a famishing hunger I never knew existed and I wasn't sure how to tactfully make my feelings known. I decided to invite him to dinner; I chose a restaurant we both enjoyed.
It was a romantic evening and I was oozing with optimism, he arrived at the restaurant right on time and I was waiting eagerly at our favorite table, which I reserved beforehand. As he made his way to meet me, I was flooded with emotions; I pictured our life together, we would have such beautiful, intelligent and well mannered children, we would live in a vast estate with all of life's opulence but most importantly we would be together…. Forever!
He tapped my shoulder to bring me out of my trance; I uttered my apologies and told him I had a lot on my mind.
We ordered from the menu and had wonderful conversation, about work, the weather the political situations, about every thing but our plans for OUR future. I figured this was my chance to share my thoughts with him, cause even though nothing we've shared has alludes to us being a couple, I secretly felt betrothed to this man and no other man has measured up since I met him.
I told him being in my life the last six months has taken away all fears and reservations I had about life, about love. I told him I loved him, not in the brotherly way but in the man loves woman way and I have had these feeling since our initial meeting and I wanted to know if he felt the same way. I told him I would love for us to take our friendship to the next level and become a couple. I ended my spiel with 'Later on in my destiny, I see myself having your child, I see myself being your wife and I see my whole future in your eyes'.
Throughout my entire discourse he was silent his face was without expression so I did not have a feel for his thoughts. He held my hands and looked into my eyes and said that he is flattered that I have these feelings for him but he is unable to fulfill my destiny because he is GAY!
What I want in a man…
1. Have faith,
2. Listen when I speak,
3. Spend more time with me than his boys,
4. Call me at least once a day,
5. Make me laugh,
6. Remember our anniversary,
7. Satisfy my woman needs,
8. Apologize when he is wrong,
9. Stimulate my intellect,
10. Be sensitive to my feelings,
11. Earn an honest living
12. Embrace my shortcomings
13. Love me unconditionally
What I'll give in return…
1. I adore God
2. I am sincere
3. I am a great cook
4. I am caring
5. I am faithful (there will never be an iota of doubt as to my faithfulness, he can trust me)
6. I am hard-working (very independent!)
7. I am intelligent and very talented
8. I have a great sense of humor
9. I am great in bed (or so I've been told)
10. I will encourage my man in any path he chooses, I will be right there to cheer him on!
11. I am beautifully and wonderfully made (My man will never be ashamed to show me off)
12. I am submissive (I will respect my man and recognize that my man is my King and regardless of where he may be in the world or how rich, poor, sick, healthy, small, large, cute or ugly he may be? He will always, always wear the crown)
13. I will love my man with every fiber of my being.
All right, so you like this dude and you've been dating for a few months, it is finally time for the deed to be done! Oh yeah! You are getting you some tonight!
So you cook your famous Efo elemi mejo and clean your crib and you've already stopped by Victoria Secret for lingerie your ass can't afford, but hey you couldn't bear to let him see your mix match ones with holes in them. You've also laundered your sheets and sprayed your pillow with D&G's light blue. You got your ringer off so your annoying ass friends won't interrupt what is about to go down, they do that shit all the time!
The mood is right and you can't wait! You casually leave your most expensive shoes by the door so the guy knows you've got class. After your 10 months dry spell, you are going for it full throttle!
So he rings your bell at 7:45, you wait for a couple minutes so you won't seem too eager.
You open the door and he is standing there in all his grandeur, 6 foot 2 inches looking like a page out of GQ! Fyne boy, no wrinkles, no pimples with a dimple! DAMN!
He looks at you with lust in his dark brown eyes and gives you that smile the makes your insides do flips.
You sit and watch him as he devour the delicious meal you've prepared, hoping he will devour you in the same manner later. He compliments your food and winks at you, "put it on me" you thought to yourself.
So yall skip desert and lay on your Italian leather sofa to watch "Sleepless in Seattle", you both love the movie die. He whispers in your ear about how cute you are looking and sent chills down your spine. Ten minutes into the movie he is nibbling your ear and you are moaning feverishly, he kisses your forehead and asks…"where have you been all my life", you lift your head and kiss him passionately. He carefully removes all of your clothing as you remove his, his nature rose to the occasion confirming he hungered for you as much as you did for him. As you both fondled each other, you feel him jolt violently, screaming! "Dear god! Dear god!" as if in pain, his eyes begin to roll backward as if he was having a seizure! You look at him with concern, which soon vanished when you found that he had expressed himself all over your beloved sofa! Your dry spell continues!. What a mess!
I have often wondered what would drive a man to beat a woman. What could she possibly do? I can understand as a couple coming from different walks of life it is challenging sometimes even outright impossible to coalesce those differences but there are options? There are always options.
These abusive traits were not evident in your courtship, you never saw it coming, his jealousy was kinda cute, it was his way of showing he loved you, but did he really love you? You received your first beating five months into your relationship, wedding plans were in tow, you were carrying his child so the families thought you should formalize things. It was a simple argument really; it always was but that simple argument landed you in intensive care for 5 days! You are far too embarrassed to tell anybody so the lies began "I FELL DOWN THE STAIRS" was all you offered to those who asked.
You call off the wedding and made a fresh start but it was just a matter of time till he made his way back in. He came with an army, they pleaded and cried and made you promises…. "IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN" was their unified chant. You weighed your options; you didn't really have a choice, who will accept you? You are officially AFTER ONE!
You tried all your might to make a home with this man but resentment didn't give way; yes, you had forgiven but you just can't forget!
He must have seen the resentment and he didn't quite understand; his frustration must have driven him to strike you once again! There goes another lie "I TRIPPED ON MY WET FLOOR" then there was the time "I GOT HIT BY A CAR". Why were you making excuses? Why didn't you get some help? His friend started to hint you that it was time to make your leave; you grew up in a home divided so you vowed to do you best. He had convinced you that without him your survival would be taxing. Who would help you raise your child? Ten hospital trips latter, you sit and count your scars then you realize you could have died! You decided to put it all in God's hand and allow HIM make a way? Through God's way you found your way and left the bastard behind.
According to statistics over a million women die every year as a result of spousal abuse. If you or someone you know is being physically or emotionally abused get some help! There are options!
I am a living testimony that there are options! I was one of those chicks that vowed "it could never happen to me" but guess what? it did and it could happen to you too. I know a lot of folks are thinking? Bola is doing way too much sharing today? Well that's quite alright, the way I see it, if my sharing can deliver just ONE woman then I have done my share!. I implore you all to do yours!
"Please Omobolanle be my wife! I love you with all my heart and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You complete me in ways I'd never thought possible."
So, he finally proposes! He hands you a black box and tears welled your eyes, you could barely contain yourself, you muffled what appeared to be a "yes" as you struggled to open the box. Your heart dropped as you saw a gold band with what appears to be diamond Chip! It reminded you of the earring you used for your first piercing.
WTF? Your girls are going to have a field day at your expense when they see this because yall already had this conversation! You were the most vocal because you were certain he would do at least a full carat if not two! But this shit right here was like a .005, it look like a little misplaced dot! I mean, brother man clocks like 80 grand annually! You would think he could do berra!
You accept it and pretend to be delighted but he catches on that you were bothered.
Clueless, he asks if you like it "hell no" you thought to yourself, but you smiled and lied to him that it was beaurrriful!
So brothers, please take notes:
An engagement band symbolizes eternity! You plan to be with her forever and the ring is a token of that promise to her. You will only buy it once so invest in it.
Get to know your woman! What kind of jewelry does she wear? Is she glitzy or frugal? Which shape does she prefer? There are several, so it's important to know! We've got Round, Princess, Emerald, Asscher, Marquise, Oval, Radiant, Pear and Heart!
To determine the setting you will opt for. The setting is the arrangement of stones within the metal frame of the ring. A good setting is like the right picture frame: it needs to show off what is inside and be able to fit in with its surroundings. It is, therefore, important to find the perfect setting that goes not only with the stone chosen, but also looks good on your First lady's hand! A woman should love her ring and wear it proudly. Engagement rings are popularly available set in gold and white gold. Silver is rarely used because it tarnishes and therefore is not a good representation of eternity. Platinum is now popular and worn by almost one-third of today's engaged women. 14-Karat gold and 24 karat gold are numbers, which refer to the purity of the gold. 24- Karat is pure gold, while 14-karat is a blend with 14 parts gold and 10 parts of another metal and please stays away from the 10-karat cause you may as well hand her your sprite can!
As for how much you should spend? Well you do the math. If your monthly take home pay is $5,000, then multiply it by two. So her ring should cost at least $10,000. Save for it or put in on a card (when you marry her she'll help pay for it).
At twenty-something, we've done the school thing, moved out on our own, we have the whole independence thing worked out but the damn clock won't stop ticking.
We can no longer go to all the gigs because we are too old, can't socialize with the younger folks lest we be call "agbaya". In every girls mind we are thinking marriage, marriage, kids, kids and some more marriage. All the dudes you meet you are sizing up as potential husband.
You've got a few girlfriends that have caught one, but for some weird reason them bitches get on your damn nerves, everything you say or do suddenly become immature, their favorite thing to say is ?wait till you get married? Well shit bitch, I am waiting!
Remember when you were kids and you'd gist with your friends on what age you intend to marry, what the guy's profession would be and how you'd live happily ever after! Well damn! No one ever said you'd have to wait this damn long! And please don't you dare mention the subject when you do catch one, he will run so fast, ya head go spin! Why is that? Why is it that all a twenty-something woman thinks about is marriage but the men don't want to hear it?
I attended a wedding recently where the groom was like 26 and the bride was a mere 19! How in the hell did she pull that off! Yeah I was jealous! Jealous not of her man but jealous that I did not have one of my own! "Lucky bitch!" I kept saying to myself. It was the most beautiful ceremony though. As they pledged their undying love to each other my eyes welled up with tears of envy! She was so beautiful and he so adored her!
So what do we do now? You've got it all in perspective but you are nearing your expiration date and no one has taken you off the shelf! What do we do I ask? Well I'll tell you what the hell I'm gonna do, what the rest of the twenty-something heifers out here do…… Fake like it don't even matter!
I have been pretty dry lately so I thought I dig up some of my old write up and re-post them. Plus, I was asked to lend some of my write-ups to an upcoming online magazine (super flattered) for free unfortunately but the exposure will be good! I will definately send the link once its up and running.
Saturday, February 26, 20052005 TO DO LIST
Monday, February 21, 2005My Baby Girl Dammy
I woke up Saturday morning at about 9am, which was great because I had not finished packing and I told everyone to be at my place for 10am. Aduare showed up first and then Dewunmi. Seyi and Dare came at about 10:30. Tola, Sammy, Dammy and Lolade came around 11am with their friend Lola. Lai came at about noon. Everyone was very helpful, I bought pancakes, waffles, eggs and bacon and everyone made their own breakfast. We worked off and on till about 4pm by which time everyone was exhausted. I was happy with the amount of work done. Dammy and her friends had to leave because she was in some pageant later that evening. I rushed to get ready because I wanted to go support her. Denrele and I left together, we picked up Omolayo from Dupe’s house along with Oyinade and we headed to the pageant. Dammy was looking like a swan, very graceful and beautiful and you could tell she had loud ass folks like me in her corner! We applauded her every step of the way. Dare and Tuoyo were two of the three judges and the third was some unfamiliar chick. Dammy did not win, I was pissed to say the least. I mean WTF! She was gorgeous! The chick that did win was cute but not as cute as Dammy but apparently she answered the questions more eloquently than Dammy.
Talk about a wonderful weekend! I had an absolute blast! On Friday we went out to this thing called blackout II, Spellman alumni’s organized it. The gate fee was $20 and we had to wear black. Denrele and I rode together and we got there before the rest of our crew. Dayo, Dupe, Remi, Dare and Tuoyo later joined us. I went bananas giving my number to every guy that tickled my fancy; I must have had one too many Apple Martini’s. My ass should be at home packing but nooooo…I had to come join the fun. Remi asked me if I ran out of hair when gluing my weave and Dayo said it looked like I used just one track! Okay maybe my quick weave was a little scanty but damn! I was in a hurry aight! Plus I did it by myself in less than 20 minutes!
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Weekend in MD....Damn I'm cute!
Monday, February 14, 2005Friends or Foes?
Where certain issues are concerned, my wrath has no bias.
Recently a very good friend of mine put me in a very awkward situation and it really got me thinking…what do people derive when they spread bad news? I don’t mean gossip like Heavy D is dead or Jen and Brad have split O! Na not that kind, but the kind like ‘I saw your ex-boyfriend (who you are not over, BTW) with this really cute girl’ or ‘your man was dancing kinda close with this girl at the club the other night’ sorta shit. I supposed where loyal friendships are concerned you may have to break the news to your girl every now and then, but only if its critical. If what you about to say will have no benefit whatsoever and you know for a fact that the only derivative from your news is pain then please keep that shit to yourself!
There are some folks whose guilty pleasure is watching you hurt and they get their orgasms from giving you gist that will not benefit you in anyway but rather hurt you and then they serve as the shoulder you cry on! I despise such people and I go the extra mile to ensure I don’t fall into that category but this good friend of mine put me in that situation. I have forgiven her and I don’t love her any less but I did not appreciate it at all. We all posses the power to affect people everyday and never really know how much impact our words have on their lives. I see things all the time and I notice situations that just aint right but I weigh the good and the ugly and let certain things slide especially if it’ll only bring pain.
If your joy comes from bringing others pain, then you need to check yourself. I think the whole thing may be unconscious because it baffles me how it could feel right. Excusing such actions by calling it friendship is what bothers me! I believe in the elasticity of a friendship and I believe it has to bend to endure but my joy comes from seeing my friends feel good about themselves, reminding them of how great they are, supporting them in whatever they decide without compromising myself, offering my harsh criticisms with love and tenderness but mostly avoiding adding to their pain.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005How to keep your man happy
If this is what it takes to keep him happy ...... he's bout to be one sad motherfucker! O hell na!
I listed my sofa and Love seat on Craigs List for Sale because, I am tired of them, I figured I would make enough money from the sale to buy something more traditional. Anyway so I get this email from a potential buyer: -
Name is prof,OLAGUNDOYE SUNNY
i saw your advert on web and i am interested in buying your item i am ready to pay you $1200 i am based in western africa get back to me if my offer is ok by you.
Like i said earlier i am based in the Western africa. there won't be any probs about the shipment,after payment ,the pick up will be made
at your place. i have made arrangements with the prepaid shipping company.
As regards payment,this is what i am going to do;I have a client in
the US who is owing me US 6,800 i would instruct him to make out a
certified check to you in that amount and as soon as it clears your bank. you
can now deduct your money from it and send me my balance,i will using use
part of the money to pay for the shipping and other expenses .you will then send my balance by via western union money transfer.Although the
value of the check is more than the asking price but i think i should be able to
trust you with my balance. The reason why i am doing this is that it would take a check sent from over here in Nigeria 21days to clear over there,whereas a check sent from the! US would clear tops within 48hrs.So i would like you to deduct thewestern union charges from my balance.So if my terms are acceptable to you,i would like you to give me your full name,address and phone number so that i can instruct my client to make out the check to you. Pls get back to me as soon as you get this mail so
that we can round things up in a timely fashion..i will be trusting
in this business transaction. get back to me
Imagine that! This guy wants to dupe me $6800! WTF do I look like? I decided I would reply him so I sent him an email telling him to find the nearest cliff and jump! I also called him a thief and threatened to forward his email, along with his IP address to the FBI. I couldn’t leave it there; I have this bad habit of letting things get to me so I decided to IM him since he was online. I asked him if he did not recognize that my first and last name was of Nigerian descent and why folks like him give the rest of us a bad name, he responded with a roaring laughter audible and asked me “so how I fit reach there?” curious I asked what he was talking about, and he said “ The US now, how person fit get there?” I told him to seek forgiveness from all the people he had duped of their hard earned money then perhaps God may take the lien off his Visa. He was livid, he told me to beg him before he kills me, then he started cursing me in Yoruba, chanting curses and told me I will drop dead soon. I called on the Blood of Jesus and I quoted a bible verse “ no weapon fashioned against me shall prosper”, then I blocked him from my contacts. I wonder how many victims of such frauds exist! At times like these, I am ashamed to be a Nigerian; those bloody crooks give us all a bad name!
Monday, February 07, 2005My so so def weekend...
I had a wonderful weekend! Well it started off not so wonderful because I am battling a really bad cold. I spent the better part of Saturday in bed, sleeping. Omolayo was not very happy about that, she wanted me to make her eggs and play Barbie. I finally got up at about 7:30pm and decided it was time to go grocery shopping. I started at Walmart for the household stuff and then I went to the grocery store. I had a taste for chicken so I was driving around for a Bojangles, their chicken is off the charts! I decided to call Remi to see what she was up to but as usual she did not pick up her phone (I don’t understand for the life of me why people don’t pick up their phone but that is another blog) I called Denrele next because I was sure to talk with a live person instead of a machine. Denrele told me they were enroute to their uncle’s place and there was sure to be food. I made a U-turn and decided to join the feast. We left at about Midnight, I was exhausted, Remi’s Aunt gave me some Theraflu and I headed home.
I would probably have stabbed church Sunday morning except for the fact that their was a special presentation today, Remi and some others were performing a cultural dance and I was excited because it was sure to be a delight. Remi asked me to join them…. AS IF! Yall know my ass cant dance to save my life! I would have served as the comic relief!
I struggled to get my hair in some sort of order and I dressed Omolayo and we actually made it to church for 10:30am. The sermon was great and the show was more hilarious than I anticipated, the guys looked like they were having a seizure but the girls held it down! I admire such artistic talents.
After church I rushed home to make Jollof rice for Aduare and her roommates super bowl party. We had fun! Didn’t watch the game much but we had fun non-the-less! I left early because Denrele had to go to work and my ass had to go to bed! I spent the night at Dupe’s house.
Here are some pictures.........
Sunday, February 06, 2005Desperate measures
For all you bag lover's, believe it or not, if you can't buy it........click on the link below!
Are you fucking kidding me?
I can not believe the lengths people will go to wear designer gear! Rent a fucking BAG! This is ludicrous!
Some heifers will even sport the knock offs like they fooling sombory!
You aint fooling nobory!
Look its simple really, you can't afford it...you dont need it!
My personal favorites are in BOLD
1. Never apologize for pursuing what makes you happy. Even if you need to quit your job, transfer schools, or move across country, always do what you really want.
2. Never apologize for using proper English. Keeping it real doesn't mean speaking Ebonics.
3. Never apologize for giving your best in a relationship that just
didn't work out.
4. Never apologize for being successful. Only haters want to keep you at their level.
5. Never apologize for crying. Wear waterproof mascara and express yourself.
6. Never apologize for ten pounds you need to lose. People who truly care about you will accept you as you are.
7. Never apologize for being frugal. Just because you save your money instead of blowing it on the latest fashion emergency doesn't mean you're cheap.
8. Don't apologize for being a single Mom. Babies are a blessing.
9. Never apologize for treating yourself to something special. Sometimes you have to show yourself some appreciation.
10. Never apologize for leaving an abusive relationship. Your safety should always be a priority.
11. Never apologize for keeping the ring even if you did not get married.
12. Never apologize for setting high standards in a relationship. You know what you can tolerate and what simply gets on your nerves.
13. Never apologize for saying NO.
14. Never apologize for asking for what you want in bed. If you don't, then who will?
15. Never apologize for wearing a weave or braids. You bought it so it's yours.
16. Never apologize to your new friends about old friends. There's a reason she's been your girl from day one.
17. Never apologize for ordering dessert. Or more than one dessert.
18. Never apologize for dating outside your race. Just because you found Mr. Right across the color line doesn't mean you don't love your brothas.
19. Never apologize for asking him to wear a condom. If he likes you he'll wrap it up without making you feel guilty.
20. Never apologize for not knowing how to cook. Even if you can't burn like Grandma you know how to order good take out. (Right Girl!)
21. Never apologize for your taste in clothes. It's your style.
22. Never apologize for changing your mind, it is your prerogative.
23. Never apologize for making a decision from your heart, even if others don't agree. You have to live with the consequences not them.
24. Never apologize for making more money than your man, you work hard and you deserve to get paid.
25. Never apologize for being you!
"KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND KEEP MOVING
There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell You this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with
you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made
manifest that they were not for us.
For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19] People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over.
Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the
tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful,
it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to .LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ..LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ... LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge . LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction . LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or
talents .... LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude...LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling
yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to... LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2005!!! LET IT GO!!! Get Right or Get Left think about it, and then LET IT GO!!! "The Battle is the Lord's!"
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.
I particularly liked 1, 4 and 7!
I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?" Wouldn't it be great if that happened more often?!!!
Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table. "Young man, we're both 90 years old," the husband said. "We may not have 45 minutes." They were seated immediately.
The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.
All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
Three friends from the local congregation were asked "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say? "
Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a Fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."
Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."
Don said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's moving!"
Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord. . . "God, what does a million years mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A minute."
Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A penny."
Smith asks," Can I have a penny?"
The Lord replies, "In a minute".
A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, She sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?"
"Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Give me one last request, dear," he said.
"Of course, John, " his wife said softly.
"Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob."
"But I thought you hated Bob," she said.
With his last breath John said, "I do!"
A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?" The man said yes and the Rabbi! replied, "Take the poison."
Friday, February 04, 2005So goooooooooood.....
Hey yall! I am in a fantastic mood this evening, I can’t explain why! Maybe I slept on the right side of my bed, or could be that my self derived orgasm is working overtime! What ever it is, I feel great! I have not cussed anybody out today, I have not snapped, I am not angry, I am just fabulous!!
Ok, so Remi found me a ticket to MD for $121! That was great fabulous because my ass was not trying to pay $200! Those that have been traveling will know what I mean. The heifer that relieves me from work has been on time since our little altercation last week… bless her heart.
There is jut one thing that irks me though, it gets to me when people leave comments on my blog and do not leave their name, especially when its comments I’d like to respond to. I respect that some people are very private, but I am referring to the faceless cowards that hide behind the WWW, when doing their dirty work. I am the first to appreciate that OPINIONS are like an ASSHOLE, and everyone has one, but if you are going to say something behind a person’s back at least have the bra-strap or jock-strap to say it in their face!
Ok, back to being pleasant, I will be going to Dupe’s house this evening for night vigil because I need Jesus! (Don’t we all?)
To all the brothers in my hood, I will be moving downstairs on Saturday the 19th of February so I am asking for all the help that I can get…sisters too. Just show up at my crib on Saturday and I will make it worth your while! That’s right, jollof rice, chicken and goat meat will be served as refreshment! So holla at your girl…..ONE.
Thursday, February 03, 2005Blah Blah Blah
What the help happened to my blog? I used to be so fucking creative on my old blog, effortlessly really, because I had so much drama in my life....wait, I still have drama in my life so what the hell is amiss? Oh yeah that's right! I had a freaking JOB! I am so sick and tired of job hunting! I swear if I get one more interview from a marketing firm that wants me to parade all over town selling office supply I will call on my ancestors to turn them into rats! I mean what else can I do? I am on Monster, I apply to everything, hell I will even be a fucking customer service rep! Just give me a JOB! I need health insurance, I need 401K, I need MONEY!
To top up my frustration, I am taking statistics this semester! That shit is like college algebra phase two! in other word, GREEK!
Einstein them were some disturbed MF who did not get laid to be coming up with this kind of crap!
Bible study was great today, I learned something! Some new dude came and was blowing Shit out his ass! Why do people argue about obvious shit?
Dupe's Aunt had a b'day party afterward and we all went there. I had one glass of booze and my bed was calling me so I split.
I had a heated conversation with an old FRIEND today, it turns out I have alot more readers than I care for? Just to clarify this for the slow MOFOS amongst yall. (If you think its you, it probably is!)
I DO NOT GIVE A FLYING FUCK WHAT ANYONE THINKS OF ME, IF I FEIGN CONCERN, IT IS BECAUSE I INHALED NAIL POLISH REMOVER!
Okay on a happier note, My mum's birthday is in 10 days! I dont know what to get her...any suggestions?
Till I blog again....ONE!
Wednesday, February 02, 2005To all my brave sistas...read and share!
There comes a time in every woman's life when she has to take a close look at herself. Not at her circumstance, not at what she did, not how unfair life is, or not at whom made you do it. She has to just look at herself in all her glory and imperfection. Have you ever admired a woman who has been through changes in her life? Or have you made up in your mind that she is just messed up. Before you make this mistake, take a closer look.
A woman who has endured the most unusual life is someone of wisdom, someone who has been chosen by God to go through things that have made her stronger.
Think of all the great women in the bible: Mary Magdalene, Ruth and Naomi, the woman with an issue of blood flow, and Esther, to name a few. Mary was a prostitute, a very uneasy woman. But by the time Jesus was done with her, she was His closest follower. Esther was unfortunate in marrying an abusive man, but by the time God was done with her, she had married one
of the wealthiest men in the land.
Women are so quick to beat the next one down instead of trying to hold her up. Before you wonder, "What's up with her?" ask yourself, "What's up with me?" That woman could be my mother, sister, aunt, in-law, stepmother, niece, grandmother, great-grandmother, neighbor, friend, or co-worker, etc. That woman could be me. Women are the carriers of life, not the channels of death. Let's build and encourage each other, as did Ruth and Naomi.