Memoirs


Monday, June 27, 2005



this is an audio post - click to play

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Friday, June 24, 2005



this is an audio post - click to play

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Thursday, June 23, 2005

That's ME!


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Lawsuit against Carson/Lloreal
By M. Liong from http://going-natural.com
The Optimum relaxer caused Isabella Broekhuizen to go bald and forced her to brake off her US modelling carrier. Now she is back home in Maastricht, the Netherlands fighting for justice.
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Isabella broekhuizen was diagnosed with chemical burning caused by sodium hydroxide, the main ingredient in lye relaxers. She sues because her aspiring modeling career is over, her bald and burnt scalp still hurts and she has to wear hair-prostheses for the rest of her life. Here is her story.
__________________________________
Isabella this is quite a story. How old were you when you first started to use relaxers and what were your reasons to straighten your hair?
I was 12 years when I started to use relaxers. I straightened my hair because I thought it improved my looks.
So you were quite familiar with the process when you used the Optimum relaxer. So what went wrong that day? Was this the first time that you relaxed your hair yourself?
No it wasn't the first time I relaxed my hair myself. So I think it was the brand. Optimum was probably too strong.
What exactly did you? Can you explain what happened?
I used the relaxer same as usual.
What do you mean "the same as usual." Can you be a little more specific?
I used the relaxer the same way everybody does. I added it to my roots, close to my scalp to make it as straight as possible, from roots to ends. Then I wanted to let it sit for a couple of minutes like the directions said. According to the box I could have left it on for 13 to 18 minutes but it started to burn immediately. I thought the relaxer wouldn't straighten my hair if I rinsed it out instantly so I left it on for 4 minutes. After that I could not take it anymore and rinsed it out.
Did you neutralize?
No. There was no neutralizer in the box. I suppose any other brand includes a neutralizer in a home use kit. The Optimum instructions said "rinse with warm water and condition afterwards."
When did this all happen? How long is this ago?
In 1996.

Isabella's moddeling pictures



When did you realize you were loosing your hair and how did long did it take to loose all of your strands? I realized I was losing hair after a couple of months and within a year I was completely bald.
I suppose you go crazy when you see that you are loosing lots of hair. What did you think was causing you loosing your hair and what did you try to do against it?
I realized it was caused by the relaxer and I did go to hospital. They gave me a heavy dose of vitamin A.
You went to 3 different doctors. What did they say? What was causing the itching and what caused you to go bald?
About 60 doctors examined me in total. Each on of them diagnosed me with chemical burning caused by sodium hydroxide. This ingredient also caused itching. It's was a main ingredient in the Optimum relaxer and as I understand now in lye relaxers in general.
How is the lawsuit going?
Preparing a lawsuit and going for justice is not easy. It is also a fight for justice.
When is the trial? It's true that Lloreal wanted to settle for 50.00 Euro?
There is no date for the trial yet. I hope it will be as soon as possible. It is true that L'Oreal tried to settle for 50.000 euros.
When and why did you give up modeling? Did you try modeling with wigs?
I gave up modeling in 1998. I was in too much pain. No, I didn't try modeling with wigs.
Do you work now?
No, I don't work now, according to authorities I am not physically fit to work.
Does your head still itch? Isn't there a chance that your hair will grow back? Do you really have to wear wigs for the rest of your life?
My head still itches and I still have wounds. There is no chance that my hair will ever grow back. So, yes, I have to wear wigs (actually hair prostheses) for the rest of my life.
What do you think if you look back?
If I knew then what I know now, I would have never used Optimum.
Can you explain what you mean? Sodium Hydroxide is a main ingredient in lye relaxers, the main ingredient in no-lye relaxers is Calcium Hydroxide. These are quite strong and harmful ingredients but necessary to straighten hair. Are you saying that if you knew then what you know now you would use another brand, a no-lye relaxer or no relaxer at all?
I think I would do something else with my hair. Like Braiding or weaving. If I could change anything I would take the whole relaxing experience away, so I would have no more pain, no more prostheses to wear, no more doctors to visit, no more worries, no more thoughts that bother me day by day by day.
Are you against the use of relaxers?
No, I'm not against the use of relaxers but I think it's very important to inform people about the hazards of using them. I really wasn't aware that relaxers were so hazardous that one could get injured for live. No one ever told me that they were hurt by the use of a relaxer? All I heard was ''it burns a little but it will be over before you know it." So I truly never saw any harm in relaxing my hair. And even now when I try to warn people, they don't listen. They act like nobody has ever has a problem with relaxers and that something like this won't happen to them.
That's why I think the product needs a more explicit warning, especially for home using. A warning like those on the cigarette boxes. It explicitly says that cigarettes can cause long cancer etc. Relaxers need a warning like that. It should be clear what the implications can be. Because believe me. If only I had known, I would have been very alert and way more careful.

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Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Babalawo in London


ye pa!

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Thursday, June 16, 2005

My baby graduated last night!

Omolayo is officially a Kindergartner! She graduated from pre-school yesterday! I was so proud. Never mind the fact that my ghetto ass was 30 minutes late! I was trying to cook for the folks that would be coming by after the graduation. We invited like 6 people and there was a mini after party at our house.
I went to work at about 7 am, Omolayo’s teacher called me at about noon to remind me that the ceremony was starting at 6pm sharp and she did not want me making a grand entrance at 6:45, I told he I’d be there (I know her ass did no call all he parents with that crap) I left work a 3 pm. Quick stop at Wal-Mart to get a few things for the party then I rushed home and made jollof rice, curry chicken and fried-stewed chicken. I quickly got dressed and Oyinade helped me get Omolayo dressed, I pulled her hair in a bun and we left for the graduation.
Lo and behold I got there at about 6:35pm and Omolayo’s teacher gave me “the look”
They quickly changed Omolayo into her cap and gown and she took her seat with the rest of the kids. I was beaming with joy! I held back my tears and constantly reminded myself that it was PRESCHOOL!!! She looked so beautiful and graceful and you could tell she was proud of herself and she felt special having all her favorite people around her.
So… to her aunties and uncles (Denrele, Dare, Remi, Oyinade, Seyi and Funmi) that were able to take the time on a weekday to be there…we thank you. Omolayo was called to the podium to receive an award for “Most Sophisticated” along with her Diploma from Preschool. My little diva is SOPHISTICATED…oh lawdy!
We headed home and friends joined us for a little supper and loud conversation.
Thanks for coming ( Dayo, Dupe, Tuoyo, Kiwi, Dayo Boy, Femi, Seyi, Remi, Denrele, Oyinade and Dare) we look forward to seeing you at all her other graduations to come.
And to my MINI-ME Omolayo... I am so proud of you boo!!!! I pray that God continues to shine His light on you and orders your step. I am honored God chose me to be your mum. Smooches!!

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Friday, June 10, 2005

For Sale


HOT HOT HHOOOOTTTTT!

I plan on opening a blog for my business ventures but in the mean time.
I have this coco brown leather pumps for sale! brand new in box size 9.
2 1/2 inches
If you are interested. Send me an email @ Qu33nb@gmail.com
$60 ( non negotiable)
Free shipping...US ONLY

Pay Pal Only to:
Queenb@gmail.com

I am serious yall..this is not a joke.

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Greatest news of the year!

Remember I said I had 6 best friends and 3 pending confirmation…well one of them is my girl Simmy in London. Simmy is one of those good girl chicks that got the ‘most likely to have a happy home’ award in High School, so you can imagine our surprise when she became an unwed mum last year. I was not really surprised because Simmy is one of those chicks that will always do the right thing, I guess because I am a single mother myself I could relate to the bravery on her part because you will be amazed at how many of our Naija peers would be single mother if not for the freedom of choice, but like me, Simmy chose life. Simmy was blessed with a baby boy last year and she embraced faith with all the curve balls life tends to throw our way. Things did not work out with the paternal father of this precious child but God had greater plans for Simmy. Last week Simmy told me that she is getting married later this year to a wonderful man that not only loves her but also loves her baby boy as his own!
I know folks are like “ and what…shit like that happen everyday” but this right here is yet even more conclusive evidence that my Savior lives! Simmy’s son is only 10 months old! I wish I knew this brother and I would love to meet him some day soon but mostly I just want him to know he has found a rare gem! I know that God will grant him all he will need to be to be the best husband and father possible. I know that they will be happy together and the life of that little boy will bring them nothing but joy, happiness and prosperity.
Simmy girl, I love you! You deserve to be treated like the princess you are and I believe in my spirit that you have found the man that is truly worthy of you. Stay blessed girlfriend and I will see you on D DAY! Ki oluwa mu ojo ro o! Amin!!

Posted by Queenb :: 12:13 AM :: 3 comments

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Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Ok..early Momo dilemma

One girlfriend told me I had an inferiority complex, another said I am confident and bother line arrogant...which is it?
I do this self-evaluation every now and then because I am trying to be all that I can be :) (No..... not in the damn Army) but on the real...the qualities that I detest most in people I am being told that I possess. Arrogant...maybe but a complex.... NA!
That would mean that I see myself as less than other people, or feel inadequate? No... not me. Arrogant... perhaps, I can see how it may come across that way, but those that know me why know that I am as down to earth as they come. I certainly have no reason to be arrogant...shit my ass is 26.8 years old, single mama, unmarried and broke, what the hell do I have to be arrogant about? I am confident though, I can put my head up around big dogs, carry conversation with elites and mingle with doctors and engineers and not skip a beat. So how do I find a center? How do I not come across as arrogant? Hey I am a work in progress.
I am sure some are thinking “chicka.... why would you give a flying fuck?” My friend asked me this morning “ why are we always dissecting you?” I’ll share; like I wrote earlier I evaluate myself because I want to be certain beyond doubt that I rid myself of the very qualities that I see in other people that makes my skin crawl. Arrogance being the first! I know this one chick in New York, her arrogance is like WHOA, can’t stand the heifer, I am always sure to put her in her place and I always thank God we are not friends so I don’t have to deal with her pompous ass! So to think for one minute that might the aura I give off concerns me. So please let it be known that I have not only taken a bite...but have eaten the whole damn humble pie! Arrogant will not be one of my adjectives...no Sir, as for complex...forget about it!

Posted by Queenb :: 10:22 AM :: 4 comments

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Monday, June 06, 2005

Moji' Housewarming

My Girl Mo bought herself a loft yall! Yes a chic spinster's pad on the good side of the hood!! (We're moving on up, cos we finally have a piece of the pie!!!!!!) I am so proud of you boo bear! May God's infinite mercy be upon you...always!!

Okay so we had this major rara at her crib, it was fabulous! All the MD fly girls were in the HOUSE!! Dressed to kill always, them heifers look heck of good!
I saw all my MD folks it was especially fun mingling with Elisa, Lola and E.I.
Food was off the heezy! Tasted great and way too much! The music was on point! Everything went better than planed!! Glory be to God.
The preparation was mad stressful, Moji and I stayed up till wee hours cooking and shit!
It all worked out though cause the party was an absolute blast!

On Sunday, I decided to go to church, my ghetto ass did not get there until five minutes after it was supposed to be over but trust Jesus House, we were in there for a good 30 minutes longer. It was nice though, I am so drawn to that place because I can tell God is in their midst. The pastor’s testimony alone gives me hope. Anyway, I saw everybody and their grandmother. I dropped Omolayo off with her cousins for a picnic she was invited to. I went over to E.I. to chill for the afternoon, I wasn’t much company though cause my ass was knocked out the minute I got there. I picked Moji up from her Uncle’s crib and headed back to B’more to get ready for Dare’s Aunt’s 50th birthday and 25th wedding anniversary gala.
Please tell me why in the hell I locked Moji, her Sister in-law and myself out of the house? I gave Moji’s key to Oyinade (my new adopted sister) and Moji gave her spare to her brother so we were locked out! Of course I did not realize this till we got to B’more.
Which meant I could not go to the party because my baffs were locked out too.
I pouted for the rest of the evening but I could not be mad at anyone but myself!

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Memorial Weekend begins!

Our Road trip to MD was very interesting, Dare, Omolayo, Lolade and Oyinade, all headed to MD for the Labor Day weekend. It took us like 7 hours to get there because we stopped like 4 times to chill on the way. We finally made it there at about 10 pm. We all crashed at Moji’s crib and stayed up really late.
I slept in Friday morning because I was exhausted but I had to get up to run some errands. My list was endless.
1. Go to Uncle Timi’s house to get my mail
2. Go to court to pay my (1 year) over due ticket
3. Go to MVA to get my license reinstated (never mind the fact that my ghetto ass has been driving on a suspended license for a little over a year!)
4. Drop Omolayo at the hairdresser to get her hair trimmed
5. Take Oyinade shopping
6. Go grocery shopping for Moji’s shindig
7. Cook like a mad chef till I pass the hell out!

I started with some Chinese, shrimp fried rice and wings with mumbo sauce, to set me off! (Damn I am so damn greedy!) Then to Uncle Timi’s Crib, that went smoothly enough. I decided Oyinade should come with me to court incase my ass got arrested. It would be a first but E.I told me that I might be in there for the whole weekend and Monday too being a holiday and all! O hell na! Queenb incarcerated? Not gonna happen, I instructed Oyinade to call everybody and their mama if these collars try to lock me up! Thankfully they didn’t so I paid my $75 fine and jet. I dropped Oyinade and Omolayo off at the hairdresser and headed to the MVA. MVA was not so bad, an hour and $30 later, I was done!
We stoped at a couple stores and Oyinade found all the baffs she needed (thank God, the little rat was starting to get on my damn nerves!) She wanted to look fabulous and all my suggestions were too boring, is that what I was like at 18? Lordy that is scary!! I tortured myself at Barefeet, I wanted everything in sight and had no money! I was tempted to put my newly acquired, work provided AMEX to work…but I didn’t. …Yipeee!
Moji called and wanted me to make a detour and run an extra errand which threw me off schedule a tad bit, but for you boo…anything!
I stopped at the mall to meet Aunty Tokunbo real quick, then off to the boonies of B’more to pick Moji up. She had just gotten her hair did and was looking fabulous for her big day! We headed to the Naija grocery store and then the American one. Talk about a long ass day!
My leg was starting to bother me but I did not want to leave Moji alone to do all the cooking so I hung in there. I finally gave up at like 2pm to catch some very much needed winks.

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Saturday, June 04, 2005




That was water stain and not breast milk o!

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Group Hug!!

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Tha'ts better!

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Why am I not in this picture?

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Wa jo o fine girl! Wa jo fine girl!

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The ladies in Pink!

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My girl Bukky!

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Me and My adopted little sis, Oyinade

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My lovely Aunty Tokunbo with Omolayo and Tope and Dammy

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This is my bored out of my mind/tired as hell look!

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Group hug...after the party

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Funmi, Nneka and Wande..

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My Dawg Lola!

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Congratulations Mo!!

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She is a natural!

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Omolayo and I

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These are my confessions......

PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT

This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the
"Agreement") is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2005,
by_______________________, between ____________and______________.

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND
PRINCIPLES:

1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.

2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.

3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have sh*t to talk about.

4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only s*x allowed.

5. No emotional discussions (I.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.

6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.

7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.

8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.

9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your damn business.

10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just f*ck buddies.

11. Calling out the wrong name during s*x is OK - don't be
offended.

12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.

13. No falling asleep right after s*x - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed, and go the f*ck home.

14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.

15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.

16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."

17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.

18. NO condoms, NO f*cking. Carry your ass home.

19. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.

20. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.

21. If going to a hotel room, we either split the cost, or alternate who's paying....you pay this time, I pay next.

22. Don't bring any of your friends with you, unless they're gonna join the party.


* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:

The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.

Participating Party
Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________

Participating Party
Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________

Posted by Queenb :: 9:49 AM :: 1 comments

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