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Friday, March 31, 2006On a gbeborun tip
Russell Simmons, Kimora Lee Break Up
Thursday, March 30, 2006Me and my best Pig!
I swear yesterday was a trip man! I really tried to be on my best behavior cause the level of crassness was high, even for me!
It’s amazing though what impact all this negativity has had on my life, positive impact no less because now I am even closer to my friends and they have shown how supportive they can be. So Anonymous, ride on jare. If only you knew that I really couldn’t give a less fuck! In fact, my hits yesterday were over 300! I mean damn! People love drama and you put on quite a show, you definitely got more attention than your trifling ass deserved. But what exactly is your beef? I think the MN trip really got to you huh? Omo you should have been there man, it was BANANAS!!! Your comments are juvenile and your bitter state is evident so, rather than being upset, I feel sorry for your pathetic ass but like I said, if I were you I’d hate me too. I love the emails though, and death threats, but is it that serious? I thought I’d post a picture of how cute I really am and one of my favorite best ugly, fat pig, but honestly she is the cutest pig I’ve ever seen!
I swear if not for legal implications, I would post a picture of this 8 tooth baboon calling someone a fat ugly pig! That is laughable. But it’s done; I am screening my comments starting now so you will just have to bump your head on the pavement or send me an anoymous text!!!Buhahahahaahaaaaaa
Tuesday, March 28, 2006Horrifying Travel Experience
Dayo, Molayo and I missed our flight! It was just easier to roll with Dayo, I was going to leave my car at his crib and we were going to beg Bayo to drop us at the airport, well that was the plan, but the devil had other plans. We got to the airport28minutes before our flight and we were told we missed it! I was livid, this Naija woman was attending to us and I swear she was a bonafide hater. She put us on standby for the next flight. We had breakfast and waited for the 12:35 flight. We were told we could not get on that one either, then the 4pm, then the 5pm and when their final flight rolled out, I realized I may not make this trip after all. Northwest motherfuckers told me I could not standby the next day so I am Shit out of luck. I called Mumsy, she was so calm about the whole thing it was scary. She told me to go to Southwest and purchase a ticket to Chicago and by the time I get there she would work out plan B. Remi, Denrele and Dupe were working overtime to calm my hostile ass, I was mad and tired but I was lucky they still had seats on the southwest flight to chi town. Dayo had had enough, besides we were looking at additional $350 a piece to get us to Minnesota! Waramess! I got to chicago at 7:30pm, and I had to go to baggage claim to get my luggage. My peeps had made reservation for me on Air tran for an 8pm flight. I bought two tickets to MN and I rushed to get my luggage then get on the flight but it was to close, I missed it again!!! OMG, I know no one in Chi town besides Bowale who was on his way to MN as well. I finally ditched the hostility and busted into tears! This God sent man that worked with Airtran was kind enough to put me on the first flight out Saturday morning. Omolayo was tired, hungry and highly irritated and she asked if we could just go home! I snapped at her and at everyone who called my phone. My mum was worried, my friends were anxious and I was tired as hell. I checked into a hotel and slept off. Thankfully, they had a shuttle that would take me to the Airport in the AM. I arrived in MN at 10:30 am, Gbemi, Gbolahan and Missy came to get me from the airport! Nightmare Mehn! But I thank God I made it!
Monday, March 27, 2006My Mum's 55th
My Raleigh Folks Representing!!!
My cousins and Sister (trust me to be the odd ball and wear cream gale)
Olori Mojisola alias My mama
Big sis and I
View Photos Here
This cake blew my mind, my sister had it made and everything is edible!!!
Friday, March 24, 2006Abi you drink?
I should be in bed but I just had to share my evening with blogville! I was rushing to run all my final errands before my trip tomorrow. Drycleaners, tailor, beauty supply etc. As I left the drycleaners my car wouldnt start! Oh crap!! I got a couple good samaritans to give me a jump and I was on my way to the next stop. Tell me why my car stopped at the intersection on the main fucking road!! I was scared as shit! I have all kinds of violation on my hooptie and I was not about to get caught...at least not tonight.
This oyinbo dude came by and pushed my car into the gas station. I called Remi cause I was close to her house. She came by and we tried to jump my car again and again until we gave up cause it wouldnt work. This dude came by and in 30 seconds the car was running again. Remi followed me so I would not be stranded. Peep this.... between the 10 minute drive to her house, we jumped my hooptie 5 times!!!! Da hell? my enemies are fucking with me o! Sweet Jesus where art thou?
At long last we made it to Remi's house. Shade made some mean ass stew and I was determined to get my grub on, nevermind the fact that neither Remi nor I had packed shit for our 9am trip o! No ooooo..... awoof wan wound me! So after about another couple hours between Shade's crib and Remi packing we finally headed to my house. How about this car followed us all the way home, Remi swore up and down they were bout to do a drive by on my crazy ass! LOL.... but for real, this car changed lanes and made every turn we made. I was calm as shit, I aint never scurred! So right when we got to my street the lights went ballistic! two popo cars pulled us over! Da hell? Th eoffice can by flashing lights all up in remi's car! he asked for her particulars and she was like what did I do! Peep this we were pulled over cause they suspected she had been drinking! Buhahahaha!!! Are yall fa real? So Donut boy asked Remi to count and touch her Index finger to her pinky using her thumb back and forth 3 times. I swear I almost soiled my briefs! Then he said she should say the alphabet from E-Q huh? As in E F G H.....O P Q!!!!! Why not from A-Z? ROTFLMAO!!! Are you serious right now? Remi flunked that shit, that heifer could not start from E! too bad Princess O was knocked out in the back seat, she would have helped you out! LOL... As in Remi was drunk of some pure warra fa real! After a few minutes, they concluded we hadn't been drinking and they let us go...just like that! After tailing us for about 20 miles!!! Jobless MOFOS!! What an interesting night! I pray my ass does not miss my flight....see yall Monday!! Have a fabulous weekend!!
Wednesday, March 22, 2006I am #9!
January 22, 1961 is
1 + 22 + 1961 = 1984
1+ 9 + 8 + 4 = 22
2 + 2 = 4
Keep going until you end up with a single digit number.
4 is the BirthNumber to read for the birth date in the example.
#1 THE ORIGINATOR
#2 THE PEACEMAKER
#3 THE LIFE OF THE PARTY
#4 THE CONSERVATIVE
#5 THE NONCONFORMIST
#6 THE ROMANTIC
#7 THE INTELLECTUAL
#8 THE BIG SHOT
#9 THE PERFORMER
# 1 - THE ORIGINATOR1 's are originals. Coming up with new ideas and executing them is natural. Having things their own way is another trait that gets them as beingstubborn and arrogant. 1's are extremely honest and do well to learn somediplomacy skills. They like to take the initiative and are often leaders orbosses, as they like to be the best. Being self-employed is definitelyhelpful for them. Lesson to learn: Others' ideas might be just as good orbetter and to stay open minded.
Famous 1's: Tom Hanks, Robert Redford, HulkHogan, Carol Burnett, Wynona Judd, Nancy Reagan, Raquel Welch.
#2 - THE PEACEMAKER2's are the born diplomats. They are aware of others' needs and moods andoften think of! Others before themselves. Naturally analytical and veryintuitive they don't like to be alone. Friendship and companionship is veryimportant and can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other handthey'd rather be alone than in an uncomfortable relationship. Beingnaturally shy they should learn to boost their self-esteem and expressthemselves freely and seize the moment and not put things off.
Famous2's: President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoopee Goldberg, Thomas Edison,Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
# 3 - THE LIFE OF THE PARTY3's are idealists. They are very creative, social, charming, romantic, andeasygoing. They start many things, but don't always see them through. Theylike others to be happy and go to great lengths to achieve it. They are verypopular and idealistic. They should learn to see the world from a morerealistic point of view.
Famous 3's: Alan Alda, Ann Landers, Bill Cosby,Melanie Griffith, Salvador Dali, Jodi Foster
# 4 - THE CONSERVATIVE4's are sensible and traditional. They like order and routine. They only actwhen they fully understand what they are expected to do. They like gettingtheir hands dirty and working hard. They are attracted to the outdoors andfeel an affinity with nature. They are prepared to wait and can be stubbornand persistent. They should learn to be more flexible and to be nice tothemselves.
Famous 4's: Neil Diamond, Margaret Thatcher, Arnol dSchwarzenegger, Tina Turner, Paul Hogan, Oprah Winfrey
# 5 - THE NONCONFORMIST5's are the explorers. Their natural curiosity, risk taking, and enthusiasmoften land them in hot water. They need diversity, and don't like to bestuck in a rut. The whole world is their school and they see a learningpossibility in every situation. The questions never stop. They are welladvised to look before they take action and make sure they have all thefacts before jumping to conclusions.
Famous 5's: Abraham Lincoln, CharlotteBronte, Jessica Walter, Vincent Van Gogh, Bette Midler, Helen Keller andMark Hamill.
# 6 - THE ROMANTIC6's are idealistic and need to feel useful to be happy. A strong familyconnection is important to them. Their actions influence their decisions.They have a strong urge to take care of others and to help. They are veryloyal and make great teachers. They like art or music. They make loyalfriends who take the friendship seriously. 6's should learn to differentiatebetween what they can change and what they cannot.
Famous 6's: AlbertEinstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Meryl Streep, Christopher Columbus,Goldie Hawn
#7 - THE INTELLECTUAL7's are the searchers. Always probing for hidden information, they find itdifficult to accept things at face value. Emotions don't sway theirdecisions. Questioning everything in life, they don't like to be questionedthemselves. They're never off to a fast start, and their motto is slow andsteady wins the race. They come across as philosophers and being veryknowledgeable, and sometimes as loners. They are technically inclined andmake great researchers uncovering information. They like secrets. They livein their own world an d should learn what is acceptable and what's not inthe world at large.
Famous 7's: William Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, MichaelJackson, Joan Baez, Princess Diana
# 8 - THE BIG SHOT8's are the problem solvers. They are professional, blunt and to the point,have good judgment and are decisive. They have grand plans and like to livethe good life. They take charge of people. They view people objectively.They let you know in no uncertain terms that they are the boss. They shouldlearn to exude their decisions on their own needs rather than on what otherswant.
Famous 8's: Edgar Cayce, Barbara Streisand, George Harrison, JaneFonda, Pablo Picasso, Aretha Franklin, Nostradamus
#9 - THE PERFORMER9's are natural entertainers. They are very caring and generous, giving awaytheir last dollar to help. With their charm, the y have no problem makingfriends and nobody is a stranger to them. They have so many differentpersonalities that people around them have a hard time understanding them.They are like chameleons, ever changing and blending in. They havetremendous luck, but also can suffer from extremes in fortune and mood. Tobe successful, they need to build a loving foundation.
Famous 9's: AlbertSchweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford, Jimmy Carter, Elvis Presley.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Monday, March 20, 2006How was your weekend?
I had one of the most fulfilling weekends. On Friday we cooked and hung out at the Bajizzy’s, the plan was to see a movie but trust my folks, once dinner was served, errybody was knocked out! It would have been fun too considering St Patrick was one of the busiest nights out. On Saturday, I had to work; we have a SOX audit coming up so I had to get my files in order. I stayed till about 3pm then I drove down to Durham.
One of our bible study members suggested we volunteer our time to Ronald McDonald house and make them dinner, so we spend Saturday evening cooking at RMH. I remember Wale saying something about doing volunteer work every now and then and how fulfilling it was, he aint never lie. I felt really good about it and trust me to take over in any kitchen. It was fun; there goes my good deed for the week! We made them Jollof rice and Chicken, the turn out was great as we all supported each other with the ingredients, cooking and cleaning. I am definitely going to do more volunteer work going forward. It was a great idea! Thanks Oby!!!
Speaking of Oby, it was her birthday sometimes last week and she wanted to go out so I suggested the Chinese restaurant that had karaoke, CODY. We made reservation for 20 people because mehn Raleigh folks like to parry!!! The food was excellent! I mean damn! Best Chinese to date, except the one around my hood but that is not a restaurant per say, more lie carry out. Anyway, we ate we drank, or rather I drank, one glass of Midori and it was over! Act a damn fool time was on! We were there from 8pm to 2 am! The hell! The karaoke was mad fun; we took over the damn joint. Tomi, Ifeoma and Shade were the dancers in the building. Even the birthday girl had had enough but the party continued. We had folks from other table asking us to join in. It was bananas!!! We took the silliest pictures; I will try and load them tomorrow.
By the time we got home, I had a headache on one side of my head and I couldn’t talk, I had lost my voice!! Come what may, we had to go to church on Sunday. I took a couple Ibruprofen and I was as good as new Sunday morning.
It was our pastor’s birthday so there was mad grub after church. They also planned this dinner at Hilton for later in the evening. We drove to Wal-Mart after church because I needed four new tires. I had been riding on my donut for 4 days now. Remi gave me a ride back home and I hooked Denrele’s hair up Shaniqua style before we headed to the dinner for pastor. It was a nice gathering, we ate, danced and made merry.
I watched Grey’s Anatomy and went straight to bed.
Thursday, March 16, 2006So my phone is missing!
Who would have thought I could live 24 hours let alone 5 days without my phone?
And the weird thing is I have not even tried to replace it! I do have insurance on that mofo but I have too busy to bother. So I checked my 26 messages yesterday and folks want to curse me out for ignoring their call…AS IF!! No I am not ignoring you, I am unable to memorize numbers and unless you leave a call back number, sorry I can’t call ya. Here is my thing, one message in one day is sufficient; chances are I heard you the first time! Unless it’s a dire emergency, why leave five messages? For why na? Or you call someone and they don’t pick up…well maybe they are busy? I am sure they saw your damn missed call so don’t keep calling like you dipped your finger in crack!
Aii so I will try and resolve my phone issue by the weekend, I really want a Treo thanks to Moji flaunting hers all in my face! Yes heifer, Imma copy you jo! Oh maybe I should get the razor looking Samsung thingy….call me I beg if you got the Sprint hook-up! I can’t wait to get a new phone, Dupe stole my job as Rev Raleigh, where I send delightful- -spam-like text to everyone on my list! I beg I need feedback on Sprint phones; I don’t have time for the foolishness of my old one so any suggestions? I need to be able to send and receive text messages and take photos of all of Princess O’s Kodak moments.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006Mama B is 58!!!
Yesterday was Remi’s mum’s birthday. We all went to Big Seg’s house after work and cooked, well, I sort of stopped by Marshalls first! I swear I need my cards cut up fa real. So anyway, earlier in the day I get a call from Omolayo’s school. They want me to pick her up because she is kinda warm and she won’t eat lunch? Maybe her ass is not hungry! But this is America so I drove up there to go scoop her. My child was just fine, she loves playing sick, cause I pick her up early, buy Mickidees and let her sleep in my bed, I know the drill but I have to respond or they may call social services on my ass. I decided to bring Molayo back to my office; I had way too much work to do to call it a day at 1pm.
Molayo was getting all this attention at work from my co-workers; I hardly knew she was there. We finally left at about 5pm.
Okay back to Mama B’s birthday, she is my name sake by the way and she is a mum to the whole town, she gets on my nerves but I love her to bits!
We cooked and danced the rest of the evening. It was an absolute blast. I did not go home till 1pm. Happy Birthday Mama B…E pe fun wa o!!!!
Friday, March 10, 2006Akata.....= to the N word
So Akata is a derogatory word and so are Kokoye and Chinko! I am guilty as charged when it comes to these words. I never used them in a derogatory manner though…...at least not intentionally. But one of my girl friends said its equivalent to black people being referred to as Niggars! Well I’ll be damned! I certainly have no desire to make others feel like I would if the N word was used one me! But just think about how many times we drop those words, especially in the Naija community without batting an eye, it’s almost as if we are addressing them by their Government name. I wonder if other folks have a name they use to group Nigerian as well. I know even within our country, we do. An Igbo chick is quick to say “hmm… Yoruba girls” and turn their nose like it’s a bad word! And I know I am guilty of “Omo igbo” then there is Aboki…now that is definitely derogatory….. It even sounds bad. The other day one of my best friends who is from Edo State said “Bola, why did you bring all your Ngbati, Ngbati people to my house!” LMAO! The nonsense girl has an Ngati husband o!
But on the real…I will make a conscious effort, to refrain from using those words. Na wa o…..there goes half my vocabulary!
Thursday, March 09, 2006A dedication....
This is dedicated to a dear friend of mine, who recently lost her little girl...I am incapable of comforting you but I know God can and he will. Please stay strong darling....it is well!
My dearest Ayomide,
I loved you from the minute you were conceived
I named you Ayomide, indeed you were my joy to come
I imagined all of the things we’d do
I pictured your smile
You’d have your daddy’s nose
You were anxious to arrive and complete our world,
You’d kick me and demand attention
We were eager to hold you and feed you.
On your first Sunday you would wear the white dress,
We want all the other little girls to recognize you are a princess
Oh, maybe you'd grow up to be a lawyer or perhaps an actress
Either way you would be our little STAR!
I will paint your room pink; I can guess it’s your favorite color
I bet you’d be a girl scout
Or maybe a ballet dancer?
What ever you decide, daddy and I would hold your hand.
I wept for you today Ayomide, I wept because I miss you
I miss your kicks and all the plans we made
I know that you are in heaven and grandma is baking you cookies
I know you met Jesus and isn’t he just grand?
I wish we had a chance to talk more and do more
And even though you are no more, I will always love you
I cannot hold you in my arms but I will hold you in my heart
Please be a good girl and make Daddy and I proud
There’s gotta be a school in heaven, be sure to get all As
Eat your broccoli my love and always say please and thank you
No talking back baby and remember mum and dad loves you!
Dear Mum and Dad,
I am okay you guys, I promise and pinky swear.
Please mama, don’t cry, you will only make me sad
I had to go mama please try to understand.
Jesus says hello and yes he is the best, he promised to send you Remilekun real soon
I pray for you and Daddy every day and Grandma says be strong
You were right mummy I do have Daddy nose
But guess what else? I have your smile! Grandma says so!
Yes, we do have schools in heaven and I do get all As
We don’t need Lawyers in heaven though… we all just get along!
And I wouldn’t dare talk back; I’ve got Grandma to keep me in line!
Smile for me Mama, remember, I am smiling too
And I am glad I will be in your hearts as you will always be in mine.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006naked in the city
So my trash day is Tuesday right, I am usually very bad about it, you need to put your trash outside the night before or morning of then it get picked up during the day Tuesday and then you must return your bin to the back of your house by sundown. Well Lets just say mine lives in the front, I have not been fined yet (knock on wood) so anyway yesterday, I was feeling mighty righteous and I packed all the trash in my home and took them outside. I was also running late and needed to make my dry-cleaning drop, I had been piling my clothes for like a month now. So I grabbed one bag and yelled at Princess O to hurry the hell up lest she be late for the 36th time this quarter. I dropped my dry-cleaning off at the trash spot and drove off! The sad thing is that I did not realize it till 6:45pm when I ran 4 lights trying to make it to the dry cleaner before their 7pm close time. I parked, instructed O to sit tight and ran to my trunk only to find that mess empty! OMG why me? I am having heart palpitations just thinking about which of my baffs I just donated to the junk yard! Life sucks and then you are naked!!
Monday, March 06, 2006Weak...end
I tried my darnest to get everything done this weekend, but working at my Marlboro job Friday put a damper in my step. So on Saturday, I was scheduled to work again, except I totally forgot! How do you forget to go to work? I went to the salon to get my do did, it was hilarious my stylist hooked me up with a Mohawk, like I requested except I looked like the chicken on KFC’s logo! Denrele got the same hairstyle and I swear we looked like fowls on crack! Its growing on me though, thank God they convinced me not to cut my hair into an actual Mohawk!!! I got back from the salon and cooked the rest of the day. I couldn’t eat my own food so I went to Remi’s because she promised me dinner. The heifer was not dressed and there was no food when I got to her crib. We ended up going to the movies to see Medea’s Reunion…absolutely Hilary! I realized I had missed my shift but I decided not to call, I would cook up a brilliant lie! After all, it’s not like I do this shit all the time right? I mean I really did forget. Besides, I have church tomorrow and I am tired as hell! After the movies we drove to UNC to get Omolayo, she was hanging with Oyinade. I ended up sleeping in Remi’s house because I was done! Dewunmi invited me to come chill at his crib and cook for him, I swear I feel used! I am not sure if I really have that many friends or they just want to eat my food! I took my babies LP and Damide with me. Oh my goodness Denrele bought the perfect black pumps for like 20 bucks! I decided to go cop a pair except they were all out! Damn!! I shall be online later today to find those suckers!! I had serious Nigaritis after eating on Sunday and I fell straight out! I stopped by Walmart to pick up some toiletries and I saw this brown sweater! Mehn I copped that mess, so what its from Walmart, shuu, Imma rock the mess out of that shege….ask me if I give a less F*&K! So at around 10pm, I finally called my boss and explained to him that I was on Nyquil and slept through my shift, he totally wasn’t buying it and he said he would have to write me up! Omo, I don’t get write ups! I usually argue my way out of everything but dude is not playing, I berra get my act together because my Marlboro job is a nice little supplemental income!
Wednesday, March 01, 2006Got Gas?
This is pretty nifty. Just enter your zip code in the site below, and it tells you which gas stations have the cheapest prices (and the highest) on gas in your zip code area. It's updated every evening. Cheapest Gas
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