Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Hook-up 101

So I was chatting my cousin yesterday and he was asking me about all the fine chicks on my page and how I can hook him up! I thought for a moment and since my wrath has no bias I put him through the drill. I am famous for hook-up, its what I do, I have been successful in hooking folks up and they end up married however I haven’t managed to hook myself up. I have had a few hook-up mishaps like the one time I hooked Mo up and the dude was sweating in AC! Really bad perspiration problems!! Man! And then there was the dude I hooked LA up with that was always high on marijuana…I did not see that one coming. And how the hell was I supposed to know that other dude didn’t speak English? Hell its his second language now! It’s so bad that my dearest friends have banned me from hooking them up; they were starting to feel like a charity case. My guy friends are sick of me and “Oh I know this chick that would be perfect for you”. One time I called this dude up out of nowhere and I was like “I saw you the other day, noticed you had a little something about you and I think you and one of my best friends will make a cute couple” I know when I started, dude must have been like damn this chic is forward, I bet he was disappointed it wasn’t me! HEHE LMAO!! Hell I even do International hook ups. I hooked my Ace T up with my Dawg Akin and they lived happily ever after. If only I can just hook my damn self up with a man worthy of me.
Aight back to cousin….so I was like okay K you need to send me your resume so I can match your skill set with a viable candidate. He was like "what you want to know?”.

I started with Age? How tall are you? How much do you weigh? Are you fluent in the English language? Can you write it? Are you legal? Are you Nigerian? If so where about? Any baby mama lurking? Do you at least have a BS? What do you do? Annual Income? Do you own a property? Is your car paid for? Where do you live? Can you relocate? How is your credit? Blood group? Blood type? Is your mother deceased? Any female siblings? How long was your last relationship? Are you a democrat? What is your estimated net worth? Other than me, are you related to anyone fabulous? (He LOL at that one) I typed furiously to make sure I had captured all the need to know bases. Please attach three recent photos (front view, side view, and traditional attire) I don’t know what happened but I think he blocked me from his IM!! ??????
Posted by Queenb :: 11:37 AM :: 13 comments

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