Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I've got the blues

I’ve got the blues! I’ve got it real bad! Everywhere I look I see a cute ass baby. Seyi and IBK just gave birth to the most beautiful baby ever; I mean he is sssssooooo cute. I don’t care what anyone says babies are ugly MOFOs I mean when they are brand new 0-1 month, they look like little gremlins and their body hasn’t really taken form, hell they are ugly! When Molly was born (damn I wish I had a picture online) she looked like a little monster covered with hair, her hairline and eyebrow were one entity and despite my fervent prayer to God that she would not have her father’s nose, there it was like a big chunk of play dough dominating her entire face! So anyway, I don’t do the oooohhh and the ahhhh for new borns, na not me but Seyi and IBKs baby is by far the most beautiful newborn I have ever seen!
Then there the long list of friends that are with child; Funmi, Shola, Vicky, Seun, even Ayo and Julie are all expecting their new babies any day now! I don tire o! So it got me thinking, maybe I should just have one, I mean my ass is getting old na, shu 28 this year, why the hell not? So I spoke with Yetti about it last night and she said we should give it another 2 weeks and then we’ll review, if I still feel the same way, perhaps I should go with it. LA said I have lost my damn mind and then she hung up on me…that heifer! Remi did not even pick up my call, as if she knew what I was bout to talk about. And Mo, well Mo is with me either way but she said I should think it through sha and think it through I did so tay I dreamt about it…..no I had a freaking nightmare!
It was kinda like a documentary taking me through the bittersweet Journey of motherhood.

1. The pregnancy ordeal, throwing up, spitting, the nausea, gaining all that extra weight.
2. Possible long labor (though I didn’t go through that with O)
3. The scar my C-section left me that rid me of any chance of ever wearing midriff or bikini.
4. The 40% income you loose for 6 weeks of playing new mummy
5. My teetries loosing there o so sexy don’t need a bra shape
6. The extra fat that has taken permanent residence on what used to be my ass
7. The permanent pot belly that gives me figure 88 instead of just 8
8. Staying up ALLL night to feed the hungry monster every 2 hours max.
9. Lack of sleep from diaper changes
10. OH those damn diapers, smells like hell (never been but I am sure that’s how it smells) how could such a tiny creature release such funk?!
11. Looking like an asswipe pushing stroller all over the damn place or those carrier thingy…arrrrggghhh (plus they don’t have one the goes with your outfit!)
12. Okay try looking cute carry a screaming baby in your arms that has just barfed all over you TM shirt (O hell to the NO)
13. Buying formular
14. Buying Diaper
15. Paying $150 every week for five years in daycare fees (Omo that is $39,000)
16. Buying a whole new wardrobe every 2 months because the suckers grow like they are on steroids!
17. Try finding a reliable sitter for free when you want to go out!
18. Getting up to fix dinner, breakfast and lunch even when you are not hungry
19. Buckling those damn car seats!
20. Reading those senseless books, I read one the other day where the girl turned stripes because she wouldn’t eat her peas! And them damned lullaby’s…so what if Jack and Jill fell down the damn hill…shu call Geico then! Don’t friggin write a song about it!

Needless to say the baby blue went off into the night. Yetti, forget about the two weeks, I am done thinking! I still want one but I will wait until I get married so the dude can share in my misery, expecially that 39K omo we are splitting that nonsense fitty-fitty!

Don’t get it twisted being a mother is very rewarding, I mean the first time your child says mama, the way your eyes well up when she says something smart and then there is the huge tax returns amongst other perks but that’s another blog for another day!

Posted by Queenb :: 10:16 AM :: 11 comments

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